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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
onifre Member (Idle past 2980 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Two jews passing by a Catholic church see a sign that says: "Convert to Catholicism we'll give you $1000"
First jew says "I'll go in first, you wait till I come out then you go in so we don't look suspicious." The other jew says ok. First jew goes in and after 3 hours he finally comes out. The other jew says "Well, did you get the $1000 dollars?" The first guy says "Is that all you people think about?" - Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given. Edited by onifre, : No reason given. Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
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subbie Member (Idle past 1284 days) Posts: 3509 Joined:
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Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).
He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a teat and pulls...the cow farts. Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow. When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.' Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts. Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow in Nordakota, didn't yah?' Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?' Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota.' Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate Howling about evidence is a conversation stopper, and it never stops to think if the claim could possibly be true -- foreveryoung |
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Tangle Member Posts: 9516 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.8
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Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android |
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Tangle Member Posts: 9516 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.8 |
This is a rather brilliant scientific analysis if what would happen if the pitcher in a baseball game accidentally released a ball at 0.9 times the speed of light.
It really doesn't end well for anyone. Relativistic Baseball Edited by Tangle, : link fixedLife, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
This is a rather brilliant scientific analysis if what would happen if the pitcher in a baseball game accidentally released a ball at 0.9 times the speed of light. No it isn't. Now I'm all disappointed.
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Percy Member Posts: 22505 From: New Hampshire Joined: Member Rating: 4.9 |
Maybe he meant this link: Relativistic Baseball
--Percy
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Tangle Member Posts: 9516 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.8
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Thanks Percy, that's the one.
(The 'copy link' failed and it's posted whatever it last had in memory - could have been a lot worse..... ) Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android
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Panda Member (Idle past 3742 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined: |
That kinda reminds me of those "what if the fundamental laws of physics were different in the past?" discussions.
What appears to be a reasonably small change (i.e. the ball goes a lot faster) results in a massively different result (i.e. the odds of a home-run during complete nuclear annihilation are considerably reduced)."There is no great invention, from fire to flying, which has not been hailed as an insult to some god." J. B. S. Haldane
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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So what he's saying is that something interesting would happen during a game of baseball?
I think he should re-check his calculations, as this is known to be impossible.
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Percy Member Posts: 22505 From: New Hampshire Joined: Member Rating: 4.9 |
Dr Adequate writes: So what he's saying is that something interesting would happen during a game of baseball? I think he should re-check his calculations, as this is known to be impossible. Well, okay, if you say so.
--Percy
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Theodoric Member Posts: 9201 From: Northwest, WI, USA Joined: Member Rating: 3.2 |
Don't start insulting baseball. I will have to take offense.
Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts "God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.
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Tangle Member Posts: 9516 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.8
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Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android |
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vimesey Member (Idle past 102 days) Posts: 1398 From: Birmingham, England Joined:
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The bat who's a cat,
Came to visit one day, And read all the posts - Read them all that fine day. And after some time,Spent scratching his head, The bat who's a cat, Felt things had to be said. So he took to his keyboard,To spread the true word - That Hawking was wrong - Was away with the birds ! That Higgs and Bob Wilson,Were nothing but goofs - He knew this for certain, He needed no proof. He posted all over -Over here, over there, Not often on topic, But he didn't care. He'd use the third person,When the first should be used - We'd wonder what caused this, Could it be too much booze ? The sentences rambled,Their meaning unclear- The grammar confusing, The syntax - just queer ! We'd try to engage him,To explain how things are, But nothing would sway him, Oh good grief, not by far ! In the end though, it's bestJust to type out a "lol" 'Cos the bat who's a cat, Is also a troll. |
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ringo Member (Idle past 441 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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A young Mexican boy went to the U.S. to visit relatives and then, contrary to stereotype, he promptly went home.When asked how he had enjoyed his trip, he replied, "Everybody was so friendly. We went to a baseball game and before they started playing, everybody in the whole stadium stood up and asked me, "Jose, can you see?"
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dwise1 Member Posts: 5952 Joined: Member Rating: 5.2
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A gringo who couldn't speak any Spanish was travelling in Mexico when he found that he had to buy new socks. He went into a clothing store asking for socks and the clerk, who could speak no English, couldn't understand what he wanted. After several attempts at non-verbal communication, the gringo finally gave up and started to leave the store when he sudden saw the socks. He grabbed a pair and showed them to the clerk, who exclaimed, "Eso s que es!" ("So that's what it is!") The gringo bought the socks and left furious, muttering to himself, "Well, if he could spell it, then why did he pretend to not know what I was talking about?"
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