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Author Topic:   Humour VII
Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(2)
Message 147 of 1042 (656789)
03-22-2012 6:16 AM



Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(2)
Message 166 of 1042 (657498)
03-29-2012 5:17 AM
Reply to: Message 164 by rueh
03-28-2012 3:43 PM


Re: Word play
this reminds me of the Uxbridge English dictionary which originates on a radio panel show called "I'm sorry I don't have a clue" on BBC radio4
http://www.alspcs.com/main.html
here's a few samples:
Abominable
To initate the countdown timer on an explosive device.
Algorism
Well known saying of an American enviromental campaigner.
Artichoke
An allergy to paintings.
Herbivore
An animal that only eats Volks Wagon Beetles.
Kindred
Fear of one's own family.
Thinking
A slim monarch.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 164 by rueh, posted 03-28-2012 3:43 PM rueh has not replied

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(1)
Message 183 of 1042 (658462)
04-05-2012 9:22 AM


The past, the present and the future walk into a bar...
It was tense.

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


Message 184 of 1042 (658463)
04-05-2012 9:23 AM


TRILOGY:
What hat do you wear to a sad funeral? Somberero.
To a happy funeral? Awesomebrero.
To 1st World War commemoration? The Sommebrero

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


Message 188 of 1042 (658475)
04-05-2012 10:48 AM


what's blue and fluffy?
Blue fluff.

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


Message 189 of 1042 (658476)
04-05-2012 10:49 AM


Did you hear the one about the blacksmith's dog?
He made a bolt for the door...

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


Message 201 of 1042 (659041)
04-12-2012 8:02 AM


Two fish were in a tank, when one says to the other
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"How the f*ck do you drive this thing?"

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(1)
Message 234 of 1042 (660566)
04-27-2012 5:51 AM


Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.
Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.
Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.
Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.

Replies to this message:
 Message 235 by Heathen, posted 04-27-2012 5:52 AM Heathen has not replied
 Message 236 by Panda, posted 04-27-2012 6:09 AM Heathen has not replied
 Message 237 by Percy, posted 04-28-2012 10:25 AM Heathen has not replied

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


Message 235 of 1042 (660567)
04-27-2012 5:52 AM
Reply to: Message 234 by Heathen
04-27-2012 5:51 AM


double post
Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 234 by Heathen, posted 04-27-2012 5:51 AM Heathen has not replied

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(2)
Message 525 of 1042 (678100)
11-05-2012 8:28 AM


http://www.newsbiscuit.com/...-election-mainly-about-bum-sex
"As the US presidential election campaign enters its last days, pollsters say the result is still on a knife-edge. Whilst flag worship remains an issue for some, the electorate is split almost evenly over the crucial question or whether or not the right of people with the same number of penises or vaginas as each other to make their relationship official is any of their fucking business."

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(1)
Message 548 of 1042 (681015)
11-22-2012 3:13 AM
Reply to: Message 541 by Shield
11-21-2012 11:29 AM


That's just awful and should be deleted.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 541 by Shield, posted 11-21-2012 11:29 AM Shield has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 549 by nwr, posted 11-22-2012 9:12 AM Heathen has not replied

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(2)
Message 606 of 1042 (687050)
01-07-2013 7:00 AM


I used to be addicted to the Hokey-Cokey...
But I turned it round,
And that's what its all about...

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(9)
Message 764 of 1042 (691896)
02-26-2013 8:46 AM


At a job interview.
"What would you say was your greatest weakness?"
"Honesty."
"I don't think honesty is a weakness."
"I don't give a fuck what you think."

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(3)
Message 765 of 1042 (691897)
02-26-2013 8:46 AM


I got talking to a girl at the bar.
"So," she said. "What do you dislike about yourself?"
I replied, "I often mislead people."
"Really?" she asked.
I said, "No."

Heathen
Member (Idle past 1397 days)
Posts: 1067
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


Message 835 of 1042 (702723)
07-11-2013 3:02 AM
Reply to: Message 829 by New Cat's Eye
06-27-2013 5:16 PM


Re: Christian Universe Perspective
In the local superclusters picture, at the top left, just below the capricornus supercluster.
is that the "Cock and Balls" supercluster?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 829 by New Cat's Eye, posted 06-27-2013 5:16 PM New Cat's Eye has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 836 by New Cat's Eye, posted 07-11-2013 10:17 AM Heathen has not replied
 Message 837 by AZPaul3, posted 07-11-2013 10:21 AM Heathen has not replied
 Message 857 by saab93f, posted 08-16-2013 2:50 AM Heathen has not replied

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