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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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From my facebook scavenging:
Edited by xongsmith, : https may not be public- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
I thought this a humour thread....number VII in fact.
This was furthest from funny for me.I didn't get the joke. Can someone enlighten me? - xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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Go back - we fucked it all up!
- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
Dr. A asks:
Is that actually true? Indeed, it really doesn't matter......- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
Omnivorous kindles my old brain with:
One of my faves is The John Birch Society...... I still go with Dylan's Talkin' John Birch Society Blues:
Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues [Outtake] / Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan) Copyright 1970 Special Rider Music Also known as: "Talking John Birch" (as first published in Broadside #1, February 1962), "Talkin' John Birch Society Blues" (as on some very early copies of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"), "Talkin' John Birch Blues" (as introduced 26 October 1963), "Talking John Birch Paranoid Blues". CDROM attribution: Copyright 1970, 1973 Special Rider Music Source: "Freewheelin' Bob Dylan" outtake. The real John Birch was a headstrong army Captain killed on a Chinese hillside in 1945. George Lincoln Rockwell was the leader of the American Nazi party. Well, I was feelin' lowdown and blue,I didn't know what in the world I wus gonna do, Them Communists they were comin' around, They wus in the air, They were all over the ground. They wouldn't gimme no peace... Well I run down most hurriedlyAnd joined the John Birch Society, I got me a secret membership card And started walkin' off down the road. Oh boy, I'm a real John Bircher now! Look out you Commies! Well, we all agree with Hitlers' views,Although he killed six million Jews. It don't matter too much if he was a Fascist, At least you can't say he was a Communist! That's to say like if you got a cold take a shot of malaria. Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them Reds.I got up in the mornin' I looked under my bed, Looked in the stove, behind the door, Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn't find 'em... Well, I looked underneath everything, behind the chairLookin' for them reds everywhere. I even looked up my chimney hole, I even looked down deep inside my toilet bowl. They got away... Well, I wus home alone I started to sweat,I figured they wus inside my T.V. set. Peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet right up to my brain. Them Reds caused it! I know they did...them hard-core ones. Well, I quit my job so I could work all alone,Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag I discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag! Ol' Betty Ross... I investigated all the books in the library,Ninety percent of those gotta be thrown away. I investigated all the people that I knowed, Ninety-eight percent of them've gotta go. The other two percent are fellow Birchers...just like me. Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,Roosevelt, Lincoln and that Jefferson guy. To my knowledge there's just one man That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell. I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus. Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straightWhen I run outa things to investigate. Couldn't imagine anything else, So now you'll find me at home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out nothin'...good God! Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues [The Bootleg Series]/ Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan) Copyright 1970 Special Rider Music Also known as: "Talking John Birch" (as first published in Broadside #1, February 1962), "Talkin' John Birch Society Blues" (as on some very early copies of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"), "Talkin' John Birch Blues" (as introduced 26 October 1963), "Talking John Birch Paranoid Blues". CDROM attribution: Copyright 1970, 1973 Special Rider Music Source: 26 October 1963, Carnegie Hall, New York City, New York Released on "The Bootleg Series, Volumes 1-3 [Rare And Unreleased]", 26 March 1991 The real John Birch was a headstrong army Captain killed on a Chinese hillside in 1945. George Lincoln Rockwell was the leader of the American Nazi party. Dylan: "This is called Talkin' John Birch Blues". And there ain't nothin'wrong with this song." Well, I was feelin' sad and kind of blue,I didn't know what I wus a-gonna do. The Communists wus a-comin' around, They wus in the air, They wus on the ground. They wus all over ... So I run down most hurriedlyAnd joined the John Birch Society. Got me a secret membership card And went back home to the yard Started lookin' on the side-walk Under the hedges ... Well, I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,I wus lookin' every place for them gol-darned Reds. Looked behind the sink and under the floor Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn't find any ... Looked behind the clothes, behind the chairLookin' for them Reds everywhere, Looked up my chimney hole, Even deep down inside my toilet bowl. They got away ... I heard some footsteps by the front porch doorSo I grabbed my shot gun from the floor Snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss Sayin' "Hands up, you Communist!" It was the mailman. He punched me out ... Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' I started to sweat,I figured they wus in my TV set. I peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet, that hit my brain. Them Reds did it! ... Hootenanny television! Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,Got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag I discovered red stripes on the American Flag! Betsy Ross ... Now, Eisenhower he's a Russian spy,Lincoln and Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy. To my knowledge there's just one man That's really an' truly an American: that's George Lincoln Rockwell. I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus. Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straightWhen I run outa things to investigate. I couldn't imagine nothin' else, So now I'm home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out too much ... good God! Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues [Lyrics 1962-1985]/ Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan) Copyright 1970 Special Rider Music Also known as: "Talking John Birch" (as first published in Broadside #1, February 1962), "Talkin' John Birch Society Blues" (as on some very early copies of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"), "Talkin' John Birch Blues" (as introduced 26 October 1963), "Talking John Birch Paranoid Blues". CDROM attribution: Copyright 1970, 1973 Special Rider Music Source: "Lyrics 1962-1985"; "Highway 61 Interactive" CDROM, 1995 (contains two minor word differences as compared to "Lyrics.."). The real John Birch was a headstrong army Captain killed on a Chinese hillside in 1945. George Lincoln Rockwell was the leader of the American Nazi party. Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,I didn't know what in the world I wus gonna do, Them Communists they wus comin' around, They wus in the air, They wus on the ground. They wouldn't gimme no peace... So I run down most hurriedlyAnd joined up with the John Birch Society, I got me a secret membership card And started off a-walkin' down the road. Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now! Look out you Commies! Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,Although he killed six million Jews. It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist, At least you can't say he was a Communist! That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria. Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed, Looked in the sink, behind the door, Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn't find 'em... I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair. I looked way up my chimney hole, I even looked deep down inside my toilet bowl. They got away... Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,Figured they wus in my T.V. set. Peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain. Them Reds caused it! I know they did...them hard-core ones. Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag! That ol' Betty Ross... Well, I investigated all the books in the library,Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away. I investigated all the people that I knowed, Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go. The other two percent are fellow Birchers...just like me. Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy. To my knowledge there's just one man That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell. I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus. Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straightWhen I run outa things to investigate. Couldn't imagine doin' anything else, So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out anything...hmm, great God! - xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
NoNukes observes:
A cynic might note that the overall effect seems like great publicity. Instead of complaining about shortages, people are going to celebrate the rarity of this brand. Indeed - what a great marketing strategy! Similar to Classic Coke. Kudos to the one who came up with this...this...ah, damn. I hate advertising.- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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rueh wisely advises:
I would recommend a Makers Mark double with a Makers Mark back and a Makers Mark chaser with a twist of lime. The only thing I might add this excellent plan is to order them all "neat". Meaning no ice, no water, no nothin'. In a rocks glass, yes, but no rocks. Furthermore, since this may be an expensive endeavor, you should note that while your drink awaits the conclusion of your careful tasting of your last sip, cover it with a clean beer circle from the bar. You don't want all that carefully distilled alcohol evaporating into thin air, like so many quarters flapping their wings away from you. Then when you finished savoring your last sip, crack the circle just a tad and snort into your nose the accumulated vapors before taking your next sip.- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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Well...I had fun watching this:
A debate between an atheist and a Christian has quite a surprising result. - Upworthy Both guys were funny.- xongsmith, 5.7d |
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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Whew! Oni sneaks back ahead of Frako 75 to 74. rbp & Dr. A seemingly out of it, despite a spirited effort.
What kind of humour thread would it be if our resident standup wasn't winning? - xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
Voice over: "Good Morning! Here are your assignments today..."Thought bubble "Oh no...do I have to play the Fox again?" - xongsmith, 5.7d
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