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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
But the quote didn't say that the bill states that pregnancy begins two weeks before conception. It says that it deems a woman pregnant two weeks before conception. Which apparently it does, in some cases. The bill states:
Gestational age means the age of the unborn child as calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman. This means that in some (indeed most) cases the fetus will be legally deemed to have existed before it was actually conceived. If you go on reading the bill, you'll see that their definition of "informed consent" to an abortion involves a doctor telling the pregnant woman this "gestational age", rather than, for example, the actual age ... so their idea of what it means to be "informed" is also questionable. Anyway, back to the humor ...
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Also, women in uniform versus women in burqas? I'm standing to attention and saluting right now, if you know what I mean.
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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It seems that this is National Poetry Day, so here's one of my recent little squibs. It first appeared on the blog of the Digital Cuttlefish, which you should read.
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Through A Glass, Darkly I asked the preacher to expoundwhere in the Bible it is found, and where in Scripture written why evil flourishes, and why when blameless children starve and die still tyrants live unsmitten. He sighed: Alas! If we but knew;but I am human, so are you: a humble, mortal man. We cannot see things through God’s eyes or with his wisdom, know how wise the workings of his plan. The ways of God are not our ways;that’s what the Bible clearly says (Isaiah 55). We cannot know; God only knows: the dead are dead because he chose and those who live, alive. His thoughts are not our thoughts, alas!We see as through a darkened glass (according to St. Paul). Don’t fuss yourself with asking why; in Heaven, maybe, when you die perhaps you’ll know it all. I thanked him more than once or twicefor all of his profound advice, and made a careful note. I have another question, then I asked this humblest of men. Say, how would Jesus vote? I’m glad you asked, replied the man;he’s certainly Republican and hates the Democrats. He sheddeth his eternal light upon extremists on the right and doesn’t think they’re bats. I know for sure the great I AMthinks global warming is a scam, in every last degree. He favors tort reform as well, and has a special place in Hell for those who don’t agree. Ye demons of the Left, despair!His curse is on Obamacare (he hates the Kenyan’s guts). And woe to those who separate in any way, the Church and State: that really drives him nuts. Don’t peril your immortal soulby advocating gun control; that’s sinful, I’m afraid. His hand is on the GOP, and need I spell it out how he interprets Roe v. Wade? He loves the rich, of that I’m sure(when he said Blessed are the poor that’s really what he meant.) He hates the Mexicans and blacks; he favors a consumption tax of six point five percent. Ah, wicked and corrupt must bethose sinful folk who disagree, and willfully obtuse. So plain are all God’s thoughts and ways that just as the apostle says ‘they are without excuse’. |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
This is a rather brilliant scientific analysis if what would happen if the pitcher in a baseball game accidentally released a ball at 0.9 times the speed of light. No it isn't. Now I'm all disappointed.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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So what he's saying is that something interesting would happen during a game of baseball?
I think he should re-check his calculations, as this is known to be impossible.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Heh. That reminds me of the time I asked my German teacher how to say "eleven eggs with it".
"Elf Eier damit!" she said. "Dear me," I said, "such shocking language to use in front of us children." She laughed, she was a nice old soul.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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World Net Daily can read minds now. This is tragically hilarious. Trilarious. Hagic.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Something similar happened in the UK. A guy killed his favorite co-worker so that when he committed suicide (which he failed to do) he'd know someone in the afterlife. 'Cos otherwise it would be socially awkward standing around with a bunch of dead strangers. Of course, it would also be awkward if the one person you knew there was someone you'd just murdered, but this guy probably wasn't the clearest of thinkers.
Anyway, the judge ruled that since his beliefs weren't that different from plenty of other nutty religious beliefs, he wasn't really nuts. And he had a point. Otherwise you'd have all these lawyers going: "Hey, my client is even crazier than that. He believes in the afterlife, and transubstantiation, and Papal infallibility, is he a loony or what?"
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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