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Author Topic:   Humour VII
Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 405 of 1042 (671852)
08-30-2012 10:15 PM
Reply to: Message 403 by New Cat's Eye
08-30-2012 12:31 PM


Re: Immaculate preconception
But the quote didn't say that the bill states that pregnancy begins two weeks before conception. It says that it deems a woman pregnant two weeks before conception. Which apparently it does, in some cases. The bill states:
Gestational age means the age of the unborn child as calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman.
This means that in some (indeed most) cases the fetus will be legally deemed to have existed before it was actually conceived.
If you go on reading the bill, you'll see that their definition of "informed consent" to an abortion involves a doctor telling the pregnant woman this "gestational age", rather than, for example, the actual age ... so their idea of what it means to be "informed" is also questionable.
Anyway, back to the humor ...

This message is a reply to:
 Message 403 by New Cat's Eye, posted 08-30-2012 12:31 PM New Cat's Eye has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 406 by NoNukes, posted 08-30-2012 10:39 PM Dr Adequate has not replied
 Message 412 by New Cat's Eye, posted 08-31-2012 11:16 AM Dr Adequate has not replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(3)
Message 429 of 1042 (672085)
09-03-2012 2:25 AM



Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(1)
Message 432 of 1042 (672268)
09-05-2012 12:17 PM


"You're Taking It Out Of Context!"

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 459 of 1042 (674687)
10-01-2012 5:46 PM
Reply to: Message 457 by Coyote
09-28-2012 3:09 PM


Also, women in uniform versus women in burqas? I'm standing to attention and saluting right now, if you know what I mean.
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 457 by Coyote, posted 09-28-2012 3:09 PM Coyote has not replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(1)
Message 460 of 1042 (674856)
10-03-2012 2:42 PM


Oddly Familiar

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(3)
Message 462 of 1042 (674986)
10-04-2012 7:09 PM


It seems that this is National Poetry Day, so here's one of my recent little squibs. It first appeared on the blog of the Digital Cuttlefish, which you should read.
---
Through A Glass, Darkly
I asked the preacher to expound
where in the Bible it is found,
and where in Scripture written
why evil flourishes, and why
when blameless children starve and die
still tyrants live unsmitten.
He sighed: Alas! If we but knew;
but I am human, so are you:
a humble, mortal man.
We cannot see things through God’s eyes
or with his wisdom, know how wise
the workings of his plan.
The ways of God are not our ways;
that’s what the Bible clearly says
(Isaiah 55).
We cannot know; God only knows:
the dead are dead because he chose
and those who live, alive.
His thoughts are not our thoughts, alas!
We see as through a darkened glass
(according to St. Paul).
Don’t fuss yourself with asking why;
in Heaven, maybe, when you die
perhaps you’ll know it all.
I thanked him more than once or twice
for all of his profound advice,
and made a careful note.
I have another question, then
I asked this humblest of men.
Say, how would Jesus vote?
I’m glad you asked, replied the man;
he’s certainly Republican
and hates the Democrats.
He sheddeth his eternal light
upon extremists on the right
and doesn’t think they’re bats.
I know for sure the great I AM
thinks global warming is a scam,
in every last degree.
He favors tort reform as well,
and has a special place in Hell
for those who don’t agree.
Ye demons of the Left, despair!
His curse is on Obamacare
(he hates the Kenyan’s guts).
And woe to those who separate
in any way, the Church and State:
that really drives him nuts.
Don’t peril your immortal soul
by advocating gun control;
that’s sinful, I’m afraid.
His hand is on the GOP,
and need I spell it out how he
interprets Roe v. Wade?
He loves the rich, of that I’m sure
(when he said Blessed are the poor
that’s really what he meant.)
He hates the Mexicans and blacks;
he favors a consumption tax
of six point five percent.
Ah, wicked and corrupt must be
those sinful folk who disagree,
and willfully obtuse.
So plain are all God’s thoughts and ways
that just as the apostle says
‘they are without excuse’.

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 485 of 1042 (676143)
10-19-2012 6:53 PM
Reply to: Message 484 by Tangle
10-19-2012 6:02 PM


This is a rather brilliant scientific analysis if what would happen if the pitcher in a baseball game accidentally released a ball at 0.9 times the speed of light.
No it isn't.
Now I'm all disappointed.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 484 by Tangle, posted 10-19-2012 6:02 PM Tangle has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 486 by Percy, posted 10-19-2012 8:13 PM Dr Adequate has replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(1)
Message 489 of 1042 (676204)
10-20-2012 12:15 PM
Reply to: Message 486 by Percy
10-19-2012 8:13 PM


So what he's saying is that something interesting would happen during a game of baseball?
I think he should re-check his calculations, as this is known to be impossible.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 486 by Percy, posted 10-19-2012 8:13 PM Percy has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 490 by Percy, posted 10-20-2012 5:36 PM Dr Adequate has not replied
 Message 491 by Theodoric, posted 10-20-2012 11:59 PM Dr Adequate has not replied
 Message 494 by ringo, posted 10-22-2012 2:51 PM Dr Adequate has not replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 497 of 1042 (676427)
10-22-2012 4:37 PM
Reply to: Message 495 by dwise1
10-22-2012 3:22 PM


Heh. That reminds me of the time I asked my German teacher how to say "eleven eggs with it".
"Elf Eier damit!" she said.
"Dear me," I said, "such shocking language to use in front of us children."
She laughed, she was a nice old soul.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 495 by dwise1, posted 10-22-2012 3:22 PM dwise1 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 498 by New Cat's Eye, posted 10-22-2012 4:57 PM Dr Adequate has not replied
 Message 502 by dwise1, posted 10-23-2012 3:15 PM Dr Adequate has not replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 531 of 1042 (678711)
11-10-2012 12:56 AM



Replies to this message:
 Message 532 by Percy, posted 11-10-2012 8:37 AM Dr Adequate has not replied
 Message 534 by NoNukes, posted 11-10-2012 10:24 AM Dr Adequate has not replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(5)
Message 546 of 1042 (680992)
11-21-2012 10:18 PM



Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(1)
Message 567 of 1042 (681815)
11-28-2012 2:30 AM


World Net Daily can read minds now. This is tragically hilarious. Trilarious. Hagic.

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 580 of 1042 (683127)
12-07-2012 5:39 PM



Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 596 of 1042 (685174)
12-20-2012 7:07 PM
Reply to: Message 595 by Minnemooseus
12-20-2012 6:55 PM


Re: Judicial snark?
Something similar happened in the UK. A guy killed his favorite co-worker so that when he committed suicide (which he failed to do) he'd know someone in the afterlife. 'Cos otherwise it would be socially awkward standing around with a bunch of dead strangers. Of course, it would also be awkward if the one person you knew there was someone you'd just murdered, but this guy probably wasn't the clearest of thinkers.
Anyway, the judge ruled that since his beliefs weren't that different from plenty of other nutty religious beliefs, he wasn't really nuts. And he had a point. Otherwise you'd have all these lawyers going: "Hey, my client is even crazier than that. He believes in the afterlife, and transubstantiation, and Papal infallibility, is he a loony or what?"

This message is a reply to:
 Message 595 by Minnemooseus, posted 12-20-2012 6:55 PM Minnemooseus has seen this message but not replied

Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 314 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(2)
Message 630 of 1042 (689344)
01-29-2013 7:57 PM



Replies to this message:
 Message 631 by mindspawn, posted 01-30-2013 6:39 AM Dr Adequate has replied

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