I think what you really fear is challenging yourself. You fear to look at your own beliefs, to test and temper your beliefs. This is why you so often push for pulling the kids YOU and your sedcts have control over out of the public schools. You fear, and I believe rightly, that if those kids were taught how to critically examine both their own beliefs and the available evidence they would realize that you and others have been teaching them to worship a false, evil, fearful God.
Ding Ding Ding We have a winner.....
Knowledge is power... and people don't like to share power