Sarde,
You ask,
How about if I come across something, in the Bible or other Christian literature, that, instead of quickening my heart and giving me hope, totally annoys me and makes me want to turn around and go some place else.
The pejorative status of subjectivity in truth seeking is well established, I believe, probably excessively, in my view. That is, "truth is beauty, and beauty truth" is a proverb that carries quite a bit of truth. As a mathematician, especially, a beautiful proof of a theorem is more surely true than one that is clumsy. But this is subjective. So is "that's a good question." Inspiration in general has a subjective tang to it.
But still, the fact that some ideas really turn me on, and others aggravate me, cannot be the last word in deciding how true that idea is. Hence, we have the scientific method, which I hope you recall controls subjectivity, enhances understanding, and estimates, objectively, plausibility.
So, devise inexpensive, low-risk experiments to test ideas, even unpleasent ones. Fear being wrong more than having to change your emotional response to an idea.
In theology, by the way, it is wise to explore and test the idea that you can control what aggravates you, and what you like, according to your notion of wisdom and truth. So-called "Godly" women like Suzannah Wesley and the woman who married Jonathon Edwards decided that, if they wanted large broods of eminent children, they would be better off liking to be submissive to their husbands. They made the choice, did the spiritual work to change their feelings about this, got to enjoy it, actually, and basically changed the world through their children, who uniformly affirmed it was their mother's training that made them effective.
In other words, you can decide what feelings to have about things, so it is proposed, and then can order up and receive those feelings. Your will and understanding, of course, preserve your identity through all this. You are who you choose to be, not what you want to be. So the idea goes. It's worth finding out if such an idea is true.
I am referring to 1 Corinthians 11 and a passage in C.S. Lewis' 'Mere Christianity':
"On the other hand, it (the Christian society) is always insisting on
obedience- obedience (and outward marks of respect) from all of us to
properly appointed magistrates, from children to parents and (I am afraid this is going to b very unpopular) from wives to husbands."
My own scientific study of this idea has produced this understanding. As primates, we are naturally gifted with the behavioral response, that males feel submissive to sexual receptive and active females. Human females are quite often in this condition, so it is easy for males to submit to women. Males also, because of stronger group orientation, are more accustomed to living in dominance hierarchies, where submission is natural, advantageous to all. Hence, the flesh of men makes it easy for them to be submissive to women. Now, God says this is wise. God says it improves life for everyone to submit to everyone else. So, it is also wise for women to be submissive to men. But their flesh, their primate instincts, generally go against this. Women are more territorial, and also are apt to be exploited by male sexuality because babies cost them more. So, they are not naturally submissive. Because they are weaker, they may be inclined to be bullied into it, but clearly this is not what God has in mind. Hence, just so women reading the scriptures don't miss the point that everyone is to be submissive to everyone else, it is pointedly repeated that this includes their (spiritually motivated) submission to men, as well as men's submission to them.
Now, obedience to authority is slightly different. In a war, someone has to have the last word, or the troops can be immobilized by indecision. We all need to submit to one another, but everyone has to have someone, in a crisis, that they will obey, lest the team break up. Divided we fall, you know.
It's best to seriously explore ideas about authority after you are confident of the truth of spiritual warfare, or otherwise want to join some team that must stick together to succeed. Many would argue that parents raising children will succeed better if the parents stick together, in love with one another. If there is a clear authority, they are more likely to stick together. But, to stay together in love, we must go back to the idea that one can love who one chooses, as deeply as one chooses. If that also is true, when one's love for a spouse wanes, more can be ordered and received, maybe. (Hence the origin of the term, "making love.")
I will continue, but if something seems strained, you would be wise to shelve the discussion, and take up consideration of ideas about spiritual warfare. Lewis's Screwtape Letters is useful. Also, you might want to think about learning to choose and receive certain feelings.
So,why should women obey men in this battle? Well, actually, the team must obey Yeshua, who is invisible and spiritual. And who, we understand, is Himself obeying Jehovah. So, odedience per se is not optional. Jehovah in authority over Yeshua is their business, but maybe we could negotiate men over women or women over men, in this authority business? (Remember, authority and submission are different subjects. Everyone submits to everyone. But authority has hierachy, someone with a last word. Definitions are important here.) The question is, would it be better in a crisis for women to obey men, or men to obey women? It has to be one or the other in the "last word" or authority category, since shifting produces confusion at moments when confusion is fatal. Imagine a football team where it is not clear who calls the play, and you get an understanding of this principle.
Now, the flesh would dictate women primates in authority over men, so that natural submissiveness would support male obedience. So, we might think that's what God ought to have decided to do. But, we remember that obedience per se is designed to make an army effective in battle, by keeping it unified. In this battle, we are told that the way to win is strengthen prayer by overcoming the flesh by the spirit. If something evil is attacking one's children, and dad says to do something that mom thinks is unwise, she of course must have her say, and dad must submit to, hear, thoughtfully consider, what she says. Then, weighing all the input, he presents what is in his mind the best course of action. Let's say it is not what Momma wants. Then it took some spiritual guts for Dad to make his stand. Mom, in the interests of unity and getting God to come down and fight the evil, says OK. Muttering under her breath, of course, that God had better make this work, or she was going to have a word with Him about His so-called "divine order." God watches all this, credits all (especially her) with unselfish (unfleshly) praying, and moves in to drive away the evil.
Note that there are no grounds in scripture for men to have their fleshly way over women. When a husband tells his wife that he (just)wants her to do X, she should hear him submissively, take the idea seriously to heart, and then do what she believes God wants her to do. Authority is in the imperative voice, not just wants. Only when the husband commands should she obey, and even then, if there is time, only after checking with God that it was Him commanding, not the flesh of the husband. Frankly, it doesn't actually make sense for a woman to marry until she has heard God tell her personally that He will oversee all the imperative voice commands of her "head," and faith for that to happen has come to her. She should also have heard something about "winning her husband without a word" getting him to think and want and command what's right for them, because she has prayed aright.
This is all fairly complicated, but God does give us 13 years or so to teach all this to young women, in preparation for marriage. Time that should be used practising on daddy, wrapping, as they say, him around their little finger. In faith, of course. Not manipulation, which perverts the process.
Yeshua was clear. The power is in the prayer, and the more private the prayer, the more powerful. His plan was to empower everyone, especially women, through granting them incredible power in their prayer closets. The guidelines in scripture aimed at women have been perverted by Christianity. They are there to address the peculiar hindrances to spiritual power that afflict women and weaken them in their prayers. We all understand, don't we, that the greatest hindrance to spiritual power, is political power?
Many of us want a life that matters. All things are possible to someone who prays aright in faith.
Good question. Taking the issues decently and in order, I hope and pray you are able to see wisdom in the guidelines given, once they are properly understood.
Stephen
™ Version 4.2