Women and the Fundamentalist View of Marriage

You know what I don't like about women? The way they just talk and talk and talk. Jeez, you'd think they could shut up once in a while. Not in today's modern world, no. They've got, like, freedoms and such-like. And I'm not allowed to yell at 'em when I'm feeling a little grumpy and they're getting all moody on me without having to listen to them whine about that!I mean, seriously. Fellas? You're with me, right? Hello?I'd say that Golfer has hit a hole in one!

Nicely put. I think the caustic wit and passion that seep into your postings are well placed here. Also: don't forget about marriage solely as an exchange of property.This message has been edited by docpotato to make subjects and verbs agree 'cause there should be no debate there!, 01-12-2006 09:47 AMThis message has been edited by docpotato, 01-12-2006 09:48 AM

The problem is that God rarely makes himself known other than through personal, subjective feelings. So you have husband saying, "God told me we need the operation," and wife saying, "God told me we don't!"I suppose in a fundamental Christian marriage the man would be able to claim that his knowledge of what God wants is superior to hers, no?

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"In Heaven, everything is fine."
The Lady in the Radiator
Eraserhead
One Movie a Day/Week/Whenever

This topic reminds me of a line in the theme song for the show Green Acres. The husband wants to live on a farm. The wife wants to live in the city. They argue through song as to where they should live until the husband says, "You are my wife..." to which she replies, "Goodbye city life!" And, so, the city-loving wife is forced to move to a farm.That's always seemed unfair to me. I suppose the reason I bring this up is to ask: in a fundamentalist marriage, what would be the correct way to solve the dispute here?

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"In Heaven, everything is fine."
The Lady in the Radiator
Eraserhead
One Movie a Day/Week/Whenever

God's voice is heard differently by everyone. The idea that two people would hear conflicting answers to the same question happens all the time. This is probably why there are many, many, many denominations of the same faith. They all agree on certain principles, but have conflicting ideas about God's answer to certain questions. Well I think the best answer to the problem is to establish avenues of communication prior to the development of an emotionally fraught situation such as this. I've found that people can generally find an agreement on something if they're able to talk to one another about what they want. I think it also helps if no one points to an omnisicent, omnipotent authority figure in order to give his/her opinion more weight than the other person's. Failing that, I think divorce or, worse, a lifetime of resentment is inevitable if one person's opinion about how to best care for their child trumps the other's due to something as uncontrollabel and arbitrary as gender.edited to add Even with this there's the possibility that no agreement can be found. And that's a bummer. But at least the two are treating each other as adults. I don't believe this, but I will grant that if we accept that God has ordained man to be the head of the household, it would be reasonable that God would wind up speaking through him. If we accept this, though, I think it's also important to examine the fact that this provides the man a very, very easy avenue for abuse of this power. Sure, he's accountable to God for these actions, but if he sincerely believes that God is telling him to treat his wife as a servent, how does that help the wife who, say, sincerely believes God wants her to be a pharmicist?I'm afraid I'm not getting your point about the equanamity found in being a follower vs. the head. You are a follower of God, right? If God came down, proved he was the real God to you, and told you to kill your son, wouldn't you feel like you had to do it? And would your objections about how much you loved your son matter if God decreed it to be his desire? I realize that you probably believe your God would never ask this of you, but setting aside all that benevolent monarchy stuff, how would you feel if God commanded you to kill your son, to commit to the act fully and not cheat by hoping that he would intervene at the last minute as he did with Abraham?This message has been edited by docpotato, 01-13-2006 10:45 AM

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"In Heaven, everything is fine."
The Lady in the Radiator
Eraserhead
One Movie a Day/Week/Whenever

Says the Baptist to the Catholic, the Catholic to the Muslim, the Muslim to the Hindu, the atheist to them all. Not exactly the impression you've given off. Certainly not as much as Golfer. They both bear the responsibility. If they cannot come to an agreement, and a decision must be made, they bear the responsibility of not coming to an agreement. And they clearly both have a problem there. It is not either of their duties to make the final decision unless the other person willingly abdicates this to one who will willingly take it on. I'll go along with this. However I would like to point out that, in my experience, it's very hard for people to jump out of roles they feel they've been assigned to since birth. But you're right, ultimately the woman herself has some responsibility to take care of herself (by rejecting this form of marriage).I try not to be in the business of telling people what's best for them. And so, I'm sure there are some people so entwined with this type of thinking that they could not be happily married otherwise. And that's fine. But it seems to me that this Biblical model of marriage is an inherently discriminatory and degrading relationship for a woman with any capacity for thinking of herself as an individual. If both people agree that they're an apple or an orange and are happy with the functioning of their relationship, then more power to them. If an apple marries a tangerine and demands that it act like an orange (stop being so zesty!) then those two should move on to other fruits and, perhaps, even vegetables.

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"In Heaven, everything is fine."
The Lady in the Radiator
Eraserhead
One Movie a Day/Week/Whenever