I'm pretty sure that what crashfrog is arguing for is equal partnership - in other words, there is no subordinate mate.
Have you been reading me, Morte? I'm fully aware of that and have been debating as to whether it works, by and large as well as one head. For the reasons already given, I don't think it does and neither have all the cultures of humanity thought so in all the history of mankind until recent decades when the breakup of homes is on the rise.
I like to keep things simple, Buz. If it works for us (my wife and I) then we do it. An equal partnership works for us. I don't CARE what other people say we are SUPPOSED to be doing. I don't care what some BOOK says we are supposed to be doing. I've only been married to the same woman for 35 years, so I'm still wet behind the ears.
What it comes down to is this. My marriage is a work-in-progress. It is a dynamic on-going dance with the woman I love. So, simply stated, it's about love and respect. When you keep simple principles in mind, then you don't get hung up on the rules.
Equal partnership worked for my parents for 52 years.
Male head-of-household worked for my wife's parents for 50 years.
But NEITHER set of parents tried to tell my wife and I what was good for us. And for that, they had our undying respect until the end of their days.
(:raig
™ Version 4.2