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Author
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Topic: The Bible on Sex, Love, and Marriage
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Hi Dan, You wrote:
The further implication is that marriage, by its very nature, is a battlefield. Sure, you lay out a plan for marriage to work despite its being a battlefield, but that plan is simply that one side has to surrender. This, of course, does not change the husband and wife being forced into the role of adversaries, it only proclaims one the victor. It may be my own craziness, but I don't see this as a particularly healthy view, conducive to a lifelong partnership. The husband and the wife are not forced into the role of adversaries. The husband and wife, in a marriage, are a team. The team has to have a leader so that they can function effectively together. The bible declares that the husband is the person that God has chosen to be the leader. In a football team, for example, there are quarterbacks, runningbacks, and receivers, etc. The quarterback decides what plays are going to be run (based on instruction from the coach), and the team executes that play. The quarterback is not superior to the runningback, receiver or other players but they need to have a system in place in order to function effectively, right? Someone has to be able to decide, ultimately, what course of action the team is going to take. Can the team decide to take two different courses of action and have success? Ideally, any good husband is going to listen to counsel from his wife concerning the affairs of the marriage. Especially in areas where the wife's knowledge/ability exceeds the husband's. But, ultimately, if they disagree on the course of action to take, the husband, the bible claims, is to have the final say. Please realize, though, that this system is given with the implication that both the husband and wife are living in accordance with the teachings of the bible. Most importantly, they have to put God as the number one priority in their lives, followed by spouse, then children, and so on. It is the prioritizing of God as the focus of each person's life that allows husbands and wives to in turn love each other, their children, and everyone else as God commands us to.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 2 by AdminAsgara, posted 10-13-2004 1:44 PM | | AdminAsgara has not replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 7 of 302 (149738)
10-13-2004 6:24 PM
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Does anyone think the bible seeks to belittle women or teaches a doctrine of inferiority? I invite you to listen to a brief study from Dr. R.C. Sproul on what the bible teaches concerning husbands and wives.
Ligonier Ministries — Renew your mind.
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Hmmm. How about this one:
Page Not Found | Ligonier Ministries Then scroll down and click on: The Christian Man in the Home -part 1
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 8 by Dan Carroll, posted 10-13-2004 6:30 PM | | Dan Carroll has not replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Hi Dan Carroll, You wrote:
Marriage comes with no such rules. Any given marriage is what you make of it. (The vast number of successful non-Christian marriages should be proof enough of this.) The analogy doesn't hold up. I don't claim that Christian marriages will, by default, be any more successful than non-Christian marriages. My point is, that to the extent that we follow God's plan for marriage, our marriages will be successful, lasting, and fulfilling.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 6 by Dan Carroll, posted 10-13-2004 6:21 PM | | Dan Carroll has replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Hi Arachnophilia, Actually, I was thinking of Ephesians 5:21-33 when I wrote that:
21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 24 of 302 (150132)
10-15-2004 1:28 PM
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Reply to: Message 22 by nator
10-15-2004 8:50 AM
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Hi Schrafinator, You wrote:
In a equal partnership, why can't the two people come to mutually-negotiated descisions together? Why won't that work? They can and it would work. The ultimate decision falls on the man when they can't come to an agreement.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 22 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 8:50 AM | | nator has not replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 25 of 302 (150137)
10-15-2004 1:39 PM
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Reply to: Message 22 by nator
10-15-2004 8:50 AM
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Schrafinator writes: But, he doesn't have to listen to her. IT is pretty much optional for him. Ultimately, her opinions do not count. What it seems to boil down to is that the man always can get his way because he can always overrule his wife no matter what, because God says so. This would be an abuse of his authority. Obviously, the scenario you described can and does happen. The downside to that, obviously, is that the marriage will suffer. If the husband completely ignores the wife's input, there will be strife and resentment. To the extent that they both fulfill their roles, they will have a rewarding marriage.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 22 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 8:50 AM | | nator has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 29 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 7:02 PM | | dpardo has replied | | | Message 30 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 7:10 PM | | dpardo has replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Hi Arachnophilia, You wrote:
that's nice and all, but it still promotes male dominance of the family. Paul's words promote love and respect. What promotes "male dominance of the family" and all that that implies, is sin.
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Arachnophilia writes: quote:
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
The text does say that and, taken out of context, it can be used to support your view. But, the text also says:
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Ephesians 5:25 The model here is that we should love our wives as Christ loved the church. How did Christ love the church?
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 32 of 302 (150216)
10-15-2004 8:14 PM
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Reply to: Message 29 by nator
10-15-2004 7:02 PM
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Schrafinator writes: quote:
To the extent that they both fulfill their roles, they will have a rewarding marriage.
But see, that's not what the evidence shows. The evidence shows that, by definition, these roles lead to the highest divorce rates among all groups. The lowest divorce rates come from non-believers. Sadly, you are correct that the "Christian" marriages do not appear to have a lower divorce rate than those of non-believers. I believe that the failed Christian marriages are as much in need of understanding and applying these doctrines as anyone else.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 29 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 7:02 PM | | nator has not replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 33 of 302 (150219)
10-15-2004 8:22 PM
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Reply to: Message 30 by nator
10-15-2004 7:10 PM
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Schrafinator writes: Do you have a best friend? Which one of you has the "authority" to make descisions for your relationship if you both disagree about something? What usually ends up happening if your best friend and you disagree on a course of action?
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 30 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 7:10 PM | | nator has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 35 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 8:54 PM | | dpardo has replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 34 of 302 (150220)
10-15-2004 8:27 PM
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I appreciate your time and patience with me. I have to go off-line now, but I will try to get to your questions this weekend or Monday!
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 38 of 302 (150317)
10-16-2004 4:12 PM
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Reply to: Message 35 by nator
10-15-2004 8:54 PM
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Schrafinator, Have you ever had a situation with your friend where you couldn't agree? If so, what happened?
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 35 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 8:54 PM | | nator has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 43 by nator, posted 10-16-2004 6:28 PM | | dpardo has not replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 39 of 302 (150318)
10-16-2004 4:22 PM
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Reply to: Message 36 by nator
10-15-2004 9:01 PM
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Schrafinator writes: What kind of adult relationship can you ever hope to have with a woman if you view her as lower than you on the hierarchy? You don't have to view her as "lower". She is equal to you. We simply have different roles.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 36 by nator, posted 10-15-2004 9:01 PM | | nator has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 41 by nator, posted 10-16-2004 6:22 PM | | dpardo has replied |
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dpardo
Inactive Member
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Message 40 of 302 (150321)
10-16-2004 4:27 PM
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Does God care about how men treat their wives...
13 And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
14 Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.
15 And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.
16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
17 Ye have wearied the LORD with your words. Yet ye say, Wherein have we wearied him? When ye say, Every one that doeth evil is good in the sight of the LORD, and he delighteth in them; or, Where is the God of judgment? Malachi 2:13-17
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 42 by nator, posted 10-16-2004 6:24 PM | | dpardo has replied | | | Message 44 by nator, posted 10-16-2004 6:32 PM | | dpardo has not replied |
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