The Bible on Sex, Love, and Marriage

This is totally my opinion based on some personal observations. That being said I feel that a lot of the reason why a number of supposed "Christian" marriages fail is because of the irrational way in which young people are taught about relationships in the Church. It is not necessarily the Biblical plan for marriage that is flawed but rather the institution of the religion of Christianity and the emphasis placed on how young people view relationships.What I saw and experienced growing up in church was that young people are taught that sex is bad, everything that might lead to sex is bad and that we should just wait for our husband/wife to come into our life and make everything right. Then when these young people get to be of reproducing age they are stuck in the irrational mode of self repression because they want to do all these things that they had been taught was evil. Then they get this idea that marriage is the way out, the way to be able to express these desires and they end up marrying the first promising person they meet in their church.So basically there is little teaching of what the real issues behind all these religious restrictions are or how to go about managing relationships so that you can even find the person who is right for you. The only seal of approval for a mate is if they are a "good God fearin man/woman."What the Church needs to do is realize that this is a different time and that they need to teach their children how to have healthy relationships. We should stop treating our children like idiots, stop "protecting" them from the world that they are going to have to live in anyway, and start teaching real life skills as it pertains to relationships and marriage as well as a ton of other things.This is not to say that this is in anyway universal or anything. I realize that there are some churches out there that are more enlightened when it comes to these issues. I just know that from personal experience that I have seen quite a few couples go down the road of marriage in ignorance while expecting it to totally succeed because they are following the Biblical plan. The Biblical plan for marriage can and does work in Christian couples who actually understand it, understand what it means to be married, and actually got married for the right reasons. It does not mean that it is the only plan for a successful marriage though evidenced by the many people on this thread who spoke of their successful, non-Bible-plan marriages.So what good is there in the Bible about sex, love, and marrige for non-believers? Well probably not much but it can and does make sense often for those who do believe and can apply the concepts appropriatly in their life.The Biblical plan for marriage is not for everyone just like Christianity is not for everyone.

I think it is fatal to use this as an excuse though because our children are going to be exposed to provacative imagery and such no matter what we say or do about it. I think the problem is that parents response to what they see as perversions in the world is to make their children blind and deaf to the reality of the world instead of preparing them for it. Christians cannot blame the world for their failures because in reality this problem has existed throughout history. I wonder how Christian parents raised their kids properly in Corinth with a temple to Aphrodite just up the hill? We will never isolate our children from sexuality so why try?To get this back on the topic of the Biblical plan for marriage, I think all the studies and statistics are not going to produce an acceptable answer for those who disagree with dpardo and asciikerr. What it boils down to is that we don't have a representative population of people who are modeling the Biblical plan correctly to determine marriages are better off. Also, just using divorce rates may or may not be a good indicator of quality of marriage as it relates to religious convictions vs egalitarian principles. Just from the couples I know who are reasonably matched well and who are following the Biblical plan of marriage I do see a noticable difference in the quality of their lifestyle compared to others. Of course this might just be a coincidence due to my choice of friends and I do see marriages that succeed quite nicely where both couples are not religious.I guess I am just saying that you can't measure the quality of a way of life based on a discrete statistic such as divorce especially in a day and age when the average "Christian" in those polls may or may not actually be practicing the Biblical principles for marriage AND may not have had the healthiest indoctrination into marriage.

Thats awful and yet all too common in our day and in the past if you really think about it. I think we really are living in a time when people in general are becoming more enlightened about who would make a good mate for them while the church is stagnant in this regard. I think the reason that conservative Christians are not realizing some of this is that they see how most non-religious people are doing it which is by trial and error that includes a lot of practices that they don't agree with (i.e. sex before marriage, living together, heck even dating if you want to be ultra conservative).What they need to realize is that the only real difference is time. People are in relationships longer before they get married and it seems to me like the longer you know someone the better chance you have of sustaning a meaningful relationship. Does anyone know of any studies related to this?Now that I think of it, nearly all of the newlyweds I know of my generation (married 5 months myself) who got married after knowing eachother less than a year are having problems regardless of their religion.Maybe part of the problem is that young Christians couples can't/don't wait the years or longer that other couples enjoy before getting married. If this is true then that might be the reason for some of those divorce statistics.

Right. Sorry. I read it again and your just more briefly agreed with me. At first glance I thought you suggested that you were blaming all the sex crazed young Christians on the current state of sexuality in our culture. Sorry for the confusion.

It probably happens more the farther right that specific institution of Christianity is. It is sad really though that people have such a narrow view of the Bible. One of the first things God commanded man to do was be fruitful and multiply. If that isn't an endorsement of a healthy sex life then I don't know what is. Maybe some of the more versed Christians can help. Is there any part of the Bible that can be twisted to say that sex even during marriage is bad? Ack! Thats all I need is another reason to dislike that man. Thanks!