Your Most Controversial Opinions!

Hear Hear RickI just want to go on record as being a woman who does NOT "get it" like Crash gets it.Psychological aggression is just as painful and demeaning as physical aggression. Yes, Schraf had a lousy childhood and suffered trauma at the hands of some males. Not all women have such experiences, many men do. I know many women, myself and my daughter for example, who would have rather been hit at times rather than deal with the psychological trauma. Both are painful, debilitating, and damaging and both can be perpitrated by either sex.This all sounds so much like "us against them" and its bullshit. Even some of the number floating around this thread...the stats are not 1 in 4 that I can find. They are 1 in 6, 17%. Yes this is still a lousy number but not as bad sounding as 1 in 4.Turning "being aware of your surroundings and not putting yourself in situations that are likely to lead to problems" into some feminist manifesto is NOT how I or any of my friends "get it."I can not for the life of me understand how what Archer has been posting has been turned against him. I'm sure I will get it now, especially since I didn't have the time this morning to delve into the thread again and make my case better...I just couldn't sit back and let everyone think that this is how all women view it.

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Asgara
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First, I did not say that you implied that rape victims were at fault for not being aware of their surroundings. My comments were in reference to others who bring it up being accused of faulting the rape victim.((adding missed quote by edit)) If that is how you've read what Archer wrote then there is a big problem in reading comprehension around here...whether yours or mine...but that is NOT what I got out of Archer's contributions in this thread.I wish I had more time this morning to finish this but hopefully I will be able to address it more fully when I get home this afternoon.Edited by Asgara, : No reason given.

I did read the thread, contrary to other's statements.I understand how you read it, I don't agree on the reading. I saw Archer's point as nothing more than an addition to what you posted.In a poor analogy it would be like someone stating that cats are furry and someone else stating that dogs are furry too. The addition does not take away from the original statement but carries on from it. Now if someone were to think that this means that the second statement was saying that cats weren't furry or that cats furriness should be ignored because dogs are furry also, then I think that is a misrepresentation.It just seems to me (opinion) that some are quick to see opposition where there is none.Now, to keep to the intent of this thread I will state my most controversial opinion.Keep in mind that this comes from someone who considers herself a feminist and a liberal.I'll state the disclaimer first in case some choose to not read past the opinion -

• I do NOT think that women or men who are raped or attacked in any way "deserve what they get."
• I do NOT think that the person who is attacked is totally responsible IF AT ALL.
• I do NOT think that all situations are equal and should be treated as such.
• I DO think that everyone deserves to be safe and free from fear.

I "THINK" that people that put themselves in a dangerous situation have to share at least some of the responsibility for what happens. I understand that at times there is no choice as to the situations that people find themselves in.I fully agree that in a perfect world anyone would be able to feel free from fear of attack, whether physical or psychological. I also know that we do NOT live in this perfect world and have to deal with issues in the real world.In the real world there are areas that are unsafe and situations that leave us vulnerable. If one were to, unnecessarily, place themselves in this unsafe area or situation, then they bear, at least, a portion of the responsibility for what happens.

My response was to Rick's quote from another member says "no one ever died from losing a friend." A clear and condescending dismissal of psychological abuse and the possible ramifications.As for your scenario it would still depend. I worked in mental health for years and saw first hand what persistent psychological abuse can do to someone. I'm not saying that one is always worse or always better than the other, but not letting others get away with saying it either.Even in a violent, forcible rape, it isn't usually the physical issues that are long-term damaging...it is the psychological aftermath.