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I think that you agree with me at least slightly then that Biblical marriage is non-applicable in Post-Christian America.
I think so, yes.
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The problem is, even in the majority of so called Christian homes, the husband is not taking the lead as per the Bible's specification and sacrificing himself for his wife. If in the case of your husband, if he was doing this for you on his own without expectation of anything other than the satisfaction of knowing that he is following the Biblical principal, then you would have little to fear about being disrespected by him in the decision making process.
You don't get it.
The fact that he would be making all of the final decisions is, in and of itself, disrespecful.
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See, your spouse hasn't been a leader to you according to this Biblical equation of 90% give and 10% take because you are very protective of your rights and power in the relationship.
I am protective of my rights and power as a human being.
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The Bible spells out very clearly of just how much power the wife has in the relationship and it is immence. The wife is to be a conselor and advisor to the husband and the family's financial accountant. The wife is to be imtimantly involved in all of the planning and execution of matters within the household.
I don't want to run the household myself. That's boring. I enjoy my career much more than running my household.
The running of our household is something my spouse and I do together out of necessity most of the time.
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The Bible infers that the wife is to be an intelectual equal to the husband but not an executive equal.
OK, where does the Bible say anything about wives being inteelectual equals to their husbands.
Mostly I seem to recall women having to ask their husbands if they have questions about things.
Not the other way around.
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So from the Biblical perspective, if you as a wife are intimately involved with every faccet of the family daily matters, an intelectual equal to your husband, a conselor and advisor to him and he is practicing the equation of 90% give and 10% take in the relationship and his primary responsibity to you is your welfare and security,
See, I have been supporting myself AND my husband for most of the last 12 years while he has been a student.
I am responsible for my own welfare, first an foremost. I have agreed to this arrangement because getting his PhD is very important to him, and therefore it is important to me, too. When he graduates, he will most likely get a post doctoral position, at which time our yearly incomes will probably match. After that, he will hopefully get a faculty position and then I will take some time off before looking for a new position or deciding to go back to school myself because he will be making more money.
I have a Mormon friend who has a masters degree. She is married to a man who barely made it through high school. She has ten times the earning power that her husband does, but he is the one who works the third shift at some factory, making just a little over minimum wage, and she stays at home with the three kids. Because of their religious convictions, they are having more children than they can afford and are on public assistance at the taxpayer's expense.
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then being disrespected by him according to the Bible would be as big a concern to you as being traded to aliens for a glass of cactus juice.
Like I said above, just the idea that I would not have the weight in the relationship to make joint descisions with my husband is disrespecful to me on it's face.
I don't care how well I was taken care of, gold plated handcuffs are still handcufs.
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But in America, few have use of this antiquated Biblical formula and again the 50/50 rule applies. Your concerns as you posted them are very well warrented and you should be on guard even though you think the world of each other.
The thing is, I don't really need to be on my guard. I know my husband views me as completely equal in status to himself, and vice versa.
The time to be on guard is in the choosing of a mate.
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That is why if people insist on marriage for whatever reason in this country, things like pre-nums are a good idea to protect your assets that you've worked hard for.
We don't have a pre-nup. We are working for the best interests of each other, and are answerable to each other for every descision we make.
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