I've never had a beer that didn't taste like beer.
I have a similar problem but more extreme.
In school I drank copious amounts of beer. I never found it satisfying going down but certainly enjoyed the buzz ... the blurred vision ... the vertigo ... the falling down. I was young then, what can I say.
Problem is, being a poor student, the only thing I could afford was the standard cheap American beers. Horse piss in a can.
I have tried. I really have. But beer is beer and the horse piss days of yore cannot be overcome.
Though I avoid the falling down part these days the buzz/somewhat fuzzy vision/slight vertigo trifecta is still pleasant and I have found the perfect potion to induce this while greatly enjoying the full sensory stimulation of consumption.
I most enjoy a good quality Cabernet. The differing subtle mixes of charcoals, woods, fruit, spice among the vintages are the keys to nirvana. Most French varietals have a smoother after-note than the Californian's but each elicits a full range of the most pleasant sensations going down. You can keep the Pinot Noir ... and the Merlot ... and for god sake keep the beer out of the neighborhood.
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