HOW DO I GET THE GIRL I LOVE INTO LIKING ME???

If you would like to SLEEP with her, I have a suggestion.Keep in mind the following Sexual Law: Women are much better at seducing men than men are at seducing women.Ignore her (or pretend to ignore her) as a sexual object. Treat her as though you are addressing her MIND only. This means not glancing at her body, etc. If you do this consistently, and she is the least bit attracted to you, she will eventually seduce you.This method works like a charm.

To call it "trickery" is to put an ugly spin on what really amounts to being a gentleman.Now if you took this method a further step, it could be called trickery. I knew this guy once who had a very successful sexual career by convincing one beautiful woman after another that he was a virgin.

I didn't say that his only goal had to be to sleep with her. After all, he said he loved her so presumably that is not his only goal. But I assume that such an eventuality would be in the back of his mind, and if such an event transpired it could lead to love.On this planet, I believe it is gentlemanly not to be ogling a woman even if we find her excessively attractive (which is what I advised). But this whole strain of advice about "being oneself" and "just be honest" and so on is an overly-simplistic answer. The whole question of "honesty" in this area is very complicated. We all do some pretending, but with this guy it was an amusing game.

I'm not talking about "trickery and deception." My point is that what constitutes "honesty" in any sort of relationship, sexual or otherwise, but especially sexual, is by no means simple. What might seem like "subterfuge" might actually be a kind of honesty, and what seems like upfront bluntness might actually be "trickery."

Oh sorry, Mr. Jack.But my point is it all depends on whether you have somebody's best interests at heart. If you do, it might very well be necessary to act in such a way that will seem like subterfuge. That is to say, it will seem like subterfuge to others but not to the potential mate--after awhile.The person I mentioned who went around trying to convince women he was a virgin was obviously jaded. I just brought it up as a comment on sexual psychology.

Very good advice.

Well, obviously you need not go hungry if you are willing to dine off sauerkraut and turnip tops.I'm a little particular myself.

The interest in her mind need not be a lie. By ignoring her body you were being polite. I need both mind and body myself.Sexually speaking, I am a dualist.

Yes, if you want to put it . . . that way.(That's why I was in such a flurry to find out if consciousness was real or not. I didn't want to be fucking with an illusion.)I have to have a good mind with a good body in order to have a thoroughly satisfactory experience. That's asking a lot but . . .

Para, you are talking about somebody doing something TO somebody, and I am talking about somebody doing something WITH somebody.Let's examine the following scenario: Male subject meets female subject. Male subject finds female subject not just pretty good but excessively attractive. What should the male subject do at this crucial juncture?This is what he shouldn't do: a. don't ogle said female! b. don't touch said female! (not even supposedly innocuous touching like shoulder-touching, which is a tactile form of ogling). Does the male subject wish to do such things to the female subject? Of course he does, so in that technical sense, he is engaging in a pretense.
However, I would argue the following: all relationships, sexual or not, involve some element of pretense on both sides. We can go through them all: professional relationships (with bosses, peers, and subordinates); relationships with relatives (notoriously so); even relationships with close friends not to mention mere acquaintances: all these relationships involve pretense and rightly so, for otherwise we'd be at each other's throats constantly instead of maintaining some aura of civility. Why is this the case? Because we are all self-centered, that's why. What matters to us is us. Everybody else comes second (I think there are exceptions, to be mentioned later, in a future post).A sexual relationship is no different except that it is even more fragile in some ways.Now back to our scenario: What should the male subject do if he is not to ogle or touch? He must exercise resolute self-control. This is called in some cultures "being a gentleman." Or if that's too snooty for some, we can just say, "Don't be a jackass." He must talk to her just as he would talk to one of his male friends whose mind he finds interesting.Now let's assume that this excessively attractive female subject is also pretty fucking smart. After awhile--not immediately perhaps--she will begin to intuit what he's doing, and she, having had to put up with many a jackass in her day, will appreciate his self-restraint.And if she finds him somewhat attractive (he need not be "excessively attractive"), she will eventually seduce him.Mission accomplished. Everybody's happy.

Am I missing something here? Why on earth would one want to have sex on a television? Para, is this fashionable in your neck of the woods?This message has been edited by robinrohan, 02-02-2005 14:11 AMThis message has been edited by robinrohan, 02-02-2005 14:11 AM

You live in The Netherlands?I thought for certain you were English!(answers to your questions up next.)

What question? Do you mean, "Do you want to have sex?" Nobody asks that question. Unheard of. That would not do at all. 1. If she's not so smart her attractiveness for him will decrease rapidly, and he will eventually go away. Of course if she wants to do it fairly soon he will do it.
2. Now here's a question I can't answer but perhaps you can, being a woman. I am only giving you empirical data from my many experiences. The man only needs to be presentable.
3. He can attempt seduction in the traditional way but I have found in the past that this often backfires. It might work in a tactical sense, but it's bad strategy. The woman often feels taken advantage of in some vague way but if she does the seducing then there is no sense of being taken advantage of.
4. No,no, all women are certainly not the same. But there is a similarity in their behavior if they are (a) very attractive (and relatively young) and (b)smart. The reason for the similarity is that their sexual experiences and general experiences with men are similar. Often they are rather cynical.This message has been edited by robinrohan, 02-02-2005 16:39 AM

I didn't get the message in time, and I tried it out on THE television (I wanted to be in fashion). Not bad actually. If you leave a TV on for a long time it gets rather warm which is comforting.Tomorrow--the antenna.You have very creative ideas, Para. Keep them coming.This message has been edited by robinrohan, 02-02-2005 21:43 AM

This technique is about quality not quantity. Obviously it only works with certain women but those happened to be the women I was always interested in (mostly, they can be characterized as "intellectual"--broadly speaking).I was having no success with the traditional aggressive approach, so eventually I learned to be more patient.However, this discussion was about what I used to do not what I do now. I'm out of that game:"You've had your share of mirth, of meat and drink;
'Tis time to quit the scene--'tis time to think."---Elphinston