HOW DO I GET THE GIRL I LOVE INTO LIKING ME???

Please help me. I am very depresed. The only time she even talks to me is if she bumps into me and she will say sorry. Please help me and I will post if you can e-mail me in 1-3 days. Please post ideas on how to help me.Tell me if I'm doing anything wrong please. Thanks you guys. Also thank you for letting me join. Thanks againzcore

Do you try and talk to her other than when bumping into her?The best thing to do is be yourself, and just engage her in normal conversation, try not to blather on about you and your likes and so on. Get her to talk about herself and her likes and dislikes. People get bored listening to others talk about their lives but love talking about theirs. For example, casually make a comment about a band currently playing on the radio and ask so do you like these guys? she will answer yes no or get lost, and you take it from there.She will be interested in you if you are genuinely interested in her. I don’t mean in a horizontal jogging kind of interested but actually interested in her thoughts ideas hobbies and so on.So get her talking about herself and just be yourself..But you cant make her like you. Some people don’t get on, many ,many loves are destined to be unrequited and if this is to be one of them then there is little you can do.
I love some one deeply. She is also one of a very tight group of extremely good friends of mine, but she has stated twice that we can never be more then friends. I have to live with that despite loving her with all my heart.That’s all I got.This message has been edited by ohnhai, 01-29-2005 10:04 AM

I 2d the "just be yourself" opinion. Loosen up and show confidence in yourself, even if you are not. And women like to be chased. They don't like timidity. If you want to ask her out, simply go up and ask her out. The worst she can do is say no, but that's better than not trying or going about it the "wrong way."

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Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" Isaiah 6:8
No webpage found at provided URL: www.1st-vets.us

what is she interested in that you are also interested in? {form\find} a common interest to talk about. include {her\your} friends in a social group first (this will reinforce common interests). don't be afraid to be creative, but it needs to be honest.above all don't dwell on the negative and work yourself into a real depression.

If you haven't noticed, this is an intellectual discussion forum. Intellectuals, even the female ones, are terrible with girls because we are all nerds. Perhaps it would be better if you find another forum where members are high school jocks who like to score with a different girl every night. I think they will give you better advice.If you are interested, you can propose a topic in Propose New Topics Forum. If you want, you can talk about the evolution of courting (wooing) and dating and how it's affected most human societies today.Gen 29:18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter...Peace

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People, please look at the Style Guide for EvC thread by Sylas. Pay particular attention to step 3.

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If you haven't noticed, this is an intellectual discussion forum. Intellectuals, even the female ones, are terrible with girls because we are all nerds.

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Speak for yourself.I am married to a nerd who was very popular with women. I know plenty of nerds who have done just fine with the opposite sex, including myself and many of my friends.

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Perhaps it would be better if you find another forum where members are high school jocks who like to score with a different girl every night. I think they will give you better advice.

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I think that would be counterproductive. He has a crush, and he wants advice on how to break the ice. He doesn't seem interested in
sleeping around.

Has any one else experienced the joy of getting out on a date with someone that you have had a crush on and idolised from afar, only to find out that she wasn't really a very nice person and that you really don't like her at all?But, to the guy in post one, just be yourself, if she likes you then she likes you, you will get over it if she doesn't. But you need to be places where she is, and have some similar interests, you cannot base a relationship on bumping into someone as often as you can.Brian.

The thing is girls in high school and college like guys that appear confident. Confident guys in high school and sometimes college tend to be assholes (trust me, every girl I know have told me this at some point).I was discussing this with my friends the other day. One of them raised this point, and I agreed with him. He said that in high school and before there are 2 ways you can gain enough confidence to approach people in real life.1) Be an asshole and have the appearance of security and self confidence that come with it.2) Be nice and take the long way of gaining the confidence.Although I know some people that have taken the 2nd path at relatively early ages (being both nice and confident in high school), the majority of the time it is just easier to take the first route and get girls.Girls often deny this, but the truth is good girls tend to like bad guys. You may deny this, but it is true. Being a gentleman will likely get you nowhere when it comes to girls in high school or college. Only mature good girls will realize that it is in their best interest not to be treated like crap by the guys. Oh really?If he is a high school student or younger, which I suspect he is, chances are he will not be able to break the ice with the advices that I have seen so far (no offense to anyone). You guys are thinking in terms of maturity, which most girls in high school are have not achieved. Sure, if he follow your advices he might become her friend or even best friend. But he will never get beyond that.The reason I wanted to refer to him to high school jocks, besides joking around, was because he could learn a lot from high school jocks. For one thing, social confidence is their strength and his weakness.

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People, please look at the Style Guide for EvC thread by Sylas. Pay particular attention to step 3.

so you are saying that evolution picks "neanderthalic" men through sexual selection by the females?This message has been edited by RAZD, 01-29-2005 19:17 AM

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we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand RebelAAmerican.Zen[Deist
{{{Buddha walks off laughing with joy}}}

I have a teenager working for me part-time and I recently observed that kids nowdays seem to be doing a lot of networking. For example, he accomplished letting a girl know he really liked her by having one of his friends tell one of her friends. When it got to her, she was curious enough to check him out. They dated for a while, but are now just friends, which is also cool.We all tend to want to hang out with people who we know like us so at the very least, you can gain a good friend by letting them know you like them. At the least, you just have to take the plunge and let them know, or you will never know how they feel. Nothing ventured....In life, you just have to find the fortitude to ask the questions. I was fortunate enough to have an older friend who helped me immensely in this area. He'd have been great in a sales job because he taught me that sure, I was going to hear lots of "no's". But, if I asked enough times, I was going to hear some "yes's" too. You just have to keep asking!And being a former jock, I must agree with Jacen. Athletes have confidence. A big part of it probably comes from the fact that they are always out there in front of hundreds, or maybe even thousands of people putting their skills on public display. Without a doubt this gives one confidence.Another factor is that being an athlete puts you in the better position of sometimes being "the hunted" more often than happens for non-athletes. Obviously, there are exceptions to this, but I think it is a fair generalization. I guarantee you that that gives you some confidence.So, my advice to the original poster is that you have to dig down within yourself and find a way to let her know you like her. She may not reciprocate, but you might at least gain a good friend out ot it.Verzem

Confidence, confidence, confidence. If you think too much about the consequences of what you do and say around her, it is likely that you will slip up and fail. In fact, don't think about that at all. If you think it is going to be the end of the world if she doesn't like you, forget about it until you lose interest in her. Then if you ever see her again get to know her at that time. Then after you regain interest, you can be confident around her and move in. Its easiest to gain interest by not being interested yourself.Easier said than done.

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The thing is girls in high school and college like guys that appear confident.

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Confident guys in high school and sometimes college tend to be assholes (trust me, every girl I know have told me this at some point).

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Perhaps you are confusing "confidence" with "arrogance".I could always tell the difference, but maybe the women you have known aren't smart or experienced enough to have figured it out yet.

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I was discussing this with my friends the other day. One of them raised this point, and I agreed with him. He said that in high school and before there are 2 ways you can gain enough confidence to approach people in real life.

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1) Be an asshole and have the appearance of security and self confidence that come with it.

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...but behaving like an asshole when one is in the presence of people who are actually, genuinely confident, or people smart and perceptive enough to tell the difference sticks out like a sore thumb.Believe me, I can tell an actually confident man from an insecure arrogant poseur in the first 10 minutes of talking to him.

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2) Be nice and take the long way of gaining the confidence.

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Being nice takes a long time to attract women? Perhaps you are confusing "being nice" with "being timid".

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Although I know some people that have taken the 2nd path at relatively early ages (being both nice and confident in high school), the majority of the time it is just easier to take the first route and get girls.

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Ah, but are the girls you "get" with that first method worth having? Is is all just a game of "getting" as many as possible with no regard for friendship, meeting each other on an intellectual or emotional level?

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Girls often deny this, but the truth is good girls tend to like bad guys. You may deny this, but it is true. Being a gentleman will likely get you nowhere when it comes to girls in high school or college. Only mature good girls will realize that it is in their best interest not to be treated like crap by the guys.

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Right. Only mature girls.So why waste your time with the immature idiot girls? I didn't waste my time on the immature, idiot arrogant boys.See, I had enough self respect in college to not put up with poor treatment, and it's true that I didn't date much. I wasn't interested in wasting my time with people I didn't connect with or people I thought were immature, arrogant idiots.

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Oh really?

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He didn't mention wanting to sleep around, did he?

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If he is a high school student or younger, which I suspect he is, chances are he will not be able to break the ice with the advices that I have seen so far (no offense to anyone).

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Would have worked for me in high school.Of course, maybe I was "too mature".

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You guys are thinking in terms of maturity, which most girls in high school are have not achieved.

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Plenty have, but they are the ones being ignored by the jocks, so none of the nerd boys (who take their cues on who to get crushes on from the jocks) think they are worth asking out.

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Sure, if he follow your advices he might become her friend or even best friend. But he will never get beyond that.

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So, do you suggest that he hit her over the head with a club and drag her to a movie by the hair??If a boy is able to make such a connection with a girl that she consideres him her best friend, I think he has a great shot at a romantic involvement [i]as long as he is truly self confident[/b].

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The reason I wanted to refer to him to high school jocks, besides joking around, was because he could learn a lot from high school jocks. For one thing, social confidence is their strength and his weakness.

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They aren't truly confident, though. They are arrogant and insecure.Why waste your time with their techniques when the smart, mature girls see through them in a heartbeat?...unless you don't want to attract a smart, mature girl, that is.

Shraf, I hate to break this to you, but there aren't that many people like you in middle school, high school, or college.Being gay have given me an interesting view on the typical high school girl. You see, for some darn reason girls tend to tell me everything about themselves as soon as they find out that I'm gay. I can confidently say that most of them can't tell the difference between arrogance and confidence. I think we are miscommunicating here. I am talking about girls when they are in middle school, high school, and sometimes college. You are talking experienced, matured girls. Inexperienced usually can't tell the difference between confidence and arrogance. That is why I referred to them as the same thing. It's not just the women I've known. Again, high school girls can't tell the difference. It's also hard for a guy in high school to gain enough confidence without being arrogant. Yes, and I am very happy for you. However, we are not talking about you, are we? We are talking about high school age girls. Stop confusing yourself with them. Yes, being nice takes a long time to attract high school age girls. Since I am still in college, I can't say if this is true for adults.Don't get me wrong. I think that it is great for a guy to be nice in high school. However, if he has decided to take that route then he shouldn't expect much response from the girls. They like confident-looking guys. Again, note that most can't tell the difference between confidence and arrogance at that age. Of course not. I'm the wrong person you want to ask that question to What I can tell you is that my shoulder is a very popular place for girls to put their faces on to cry. i think you are missing my point. My point is that you either get into the game or don't expect much. Sure, sometimes you get lucky and find that girl that's mature enough to recognize what's best for her. However, such girl belong to a dying species. Unfortunately, it's hard to tell the difference between the 2.I'm just trying to help the guy out by making him realize that he shouldn't expect much or there will be lots of disappointment. I'm willing to bet 2 bucks that being her best friend won't be enough. He will hope and hope and hope. But essentially, he will realize that she just ain't interested in a gentleman.Of course, I'm assuming that she is the typical high school girl. If she is not, more power to her. *Chuckles*No, but finding a happy medium, especially in high school, is harder than finding a real gentleman. Sorry, but I don't think so. If you were "too mature," you would have realized that nothing serious could come out of it and wouldn't pay attention to it. Don't tell me you were never attracted to those popular guys. I do agree that plenty have. However, I have always suspected that they just pretended to be that way because they couldn't act like the popular ones. Yes, I have a very pessimistic view of high school.Again, being gay have given me a unique perspective on this matter. As soon as they find out I'm gay, I automatically become their personal psychologist. Haha. That's one way of doing it. Well, all I gotta say to him is "good luck". Depends on what you mean by "smart." Let just say that many of the top 10% girls in high school threw themselves at the jocks' feet very willingly and cried on my shoulders later on.My original point was that he shouldn't expect much if he wanted to be a gentleman... like trying to connect with her by sharing the same interests and such.But who knows. May be he'll get struck by extreme luck and this girl turns out to connect back.

You love her?What does that mean?If people would stop using this distorted terminology, they wouldn't struggle so much with relationships.LOVE IS NOT A FEELING.What you probably mean is that you find her attractive.If you were actually loving her, you would have already caught her attention and had a response.

Buy a tight pair of Speedo bikini swimwear. Then go to a produce market and select a strategically shaped sweet potato ...Remember to put the sweet potato in the FRONT of the swimwear before putting on a tight pair of Levis.Then strut about like a peacock on crack.Good luck, man.