EvC Forum: Anyone ever heard of Rebecca Watson?

Percy writes:

In this video she rakes a guy over the coals for saying to her on the elevator, "Don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting and I would like to talk more. Would you like to come to my hotel room for coffee."

I'd say the guy was wrong.
Rebecca obviously took offense to the statement; therefore, he was wrong. Maybe it was a mistake, an accident... maybe he was trying to get a rise... it doesn't matter, it's wrong simply because it wasn't appreciated by Rebecca.
This is not to say that no guy should ever say this to any woman while in an elevator.
This is simply to say that elevator-guy shouldn't have said this to Rebecca Watson while in an elevator. Because, obviously, she didn't like it.

...(Rebecca) rakes a guy over the coals for...

I'd say Rebecca was wrong.
I would guess that the guy didn't appreciate being "raked over the coals;" therefore, she was wrong. Maybe there was no way for her to "be right", maybe she accidentally blew it out of proportion, maybe she had alternative motives... it doesn't matter, it's wrong simply because it wasn't appreciated by elevator dude (if it was, in fact, unappreciated).
This is not to say that no one should ever talk about how men can (or seem to) cause a fearful impact on women through their pick-up lines.
This is simply to say that Rebecca shouldn't have reacted this way to elevator-guy after this situation occured. Because, (if it is in fact true) elevator-guy doesn't appreciate being "raked over the coals."
I think it may very well be impossible for Rebecca to reject elevator-guy's proposal in a way that is "right"... in a way that doesn't hurt elevator-guy.
This isn't to say that Rebecca's a bad person in any way (to me, a good person attempts to be as good as possible, but mistakes happen).
I'm just saying that morality isn't easy or simple and sometimes there are situations where it isn't possible to "be nice" to everyone (or even "anyone") involved. We should always attempt to be as nice as possible, but if something went wrong it's only honest to acknowledge it as such. We should equally acknowledge that sometimes we can end up in situations where it's not possible to "be nice." That still doesn't mean we should stop trying.

As for all those writing hate-speech to Rebecca, I think it's pretty obvious why that's wrong (it's easy to guess that Rebecca doesn't appreciate such comments).

As for those writing hate-speech to elevator-guy, it's also pretty obvious why that's wrong (it's easy to guess that elevator-guy doesn't appreciate such comments).

To me, the situation's right/wrong judgments make perfect sense given a few minor tips:

1. It's okay to be wrong as long as you take in the new information and try to do better in the future. This, however, doesn't stop you from being wrong in that instance, it just shows that you weren't trying to be wrong on purpose.

2. Morality is not absolute. There is not going to be a single one-liner that can be taken away from this situation. It will never be valid to say "all men should be able to proposition any woman like this!" or "all people should always respect women when they rake men over the coals like this!" Each situation is different and the only way to know if the unique actions was good/bad is to communicate with those who were affected. Everything else is only an attempt at being good.

3. Morality isn't easy. There isn't always a way to get out of every situation and keep everyone happy. Sometimes you can't even keep anyone happy. Being good is about trying to be as good as possible, acknowledging when mistakes/errors have occured, and then continuing to try to be as good as possible with the new information you've learned. Constantly trying, constantly learning new ways to try harder. It's not easy, and it's not simple.

So, who was more right or more wrong?

I don't know how to answer this without just saying it's personal opinion. So take it for what it's worth.

First off, I say it's easy to see that the anonymous emails to Rebecca (and to elevator-guy?) including rape and/or death-threats are clearly the far-and-away most-wrong in the situation. The situation in the elevator itself doesn't seem like too big of a deal. I think it's some level of "deal," but not very big. Certainly not warranting any amount of rape/death threats to either individual involved. That's just a sofa king facepalm.

Out of Rebecca and elevator guy?
I would say that elevator-guy was more-wrong.

quote:
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I find you very interesting and I would like to talk more. Would you like to come to my hotel room for coffee."

The two sentences don't seem to line up for me. The first sentence seems to indicate that he wants to be sensitive to Rebecca's possible reaction to being propositioned by a man in the first place. But then the second sentence invites her to his hotel room? Are you kidding me? It just doesn't make sense. If you're trying to be sensitive, it makes sense to invite her to the lobby, or a coffee shop, or to forget coffee altogether and just ask her to chat somewhere public for a moment. As Judge Judy says "If it doesn't make sense, it's usually not true."

Edited by Stile, : A message isn't a true message without an edit.

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