Speaking of being thick skinned, my wife's uncle once called me a Satan worshipper in front of a crowded church. He got a little angry with me. He claimed I did not believe in the "plain truth" of a literal interpretation of Genesis. I replied, "Which particular literal interpretation are you referring to?" He said, "The most literal". I then said, "The biblical verse, 'go forth and multiply and replenish the earth' was actually first commanded to Adam (and not Noah). To not accept that God told Adam to "refill" the earth (thus, Adam was not the first) means to not accept the most literal interpretation."
Not a bad riposte, but surely the
perfect comeback would have been to ritually disembowel him and offer his still-beating heart to Beelzebub.