I don't smoke and don't drink, aside from prescription painkillers (which I used sparingly) when I had my wisdom teeth out I've had 1 drug experience in my 30 years. Here is the morphine story (as previously recounted for a friend's website and edited a bit):
The Morphine Story: or how I learned to stop worrying and
love The Bomb fear Drugs
About 6 months into our relationship the then Ms. Jones and I took a road trip to Calgary to visit my sister and some of Ms. Jones' friends. We stayed with Ms. Jones' friend Crazy Jen. So one night I had a horrible horrible headache, the worst pain I had ever felt. So Crazy Jen asks if I want anything for it "Asprin, Tylenol, Morphine?". I chose the morphine. Ms. Jones gave me this crazy "what are you doing look?", I thought it would be okay because Ms. Whyt had informed me that Crazy Jen had been in a bad car crash and I assumed that the Morphine was prescribed to her and that everything was on the up and up. Later I learned that no, Crazy Jen is a hypochondriac drug addict, who woulda thunk it? I mean surely a nickname like Crazy Jen would've been enough to tip me off. So I took the Morphine and quickly fell asleep. Three to four hours later I woke up feeling great, no headache, felt like I had had the best sleep ever. Ms. Jones and I fooled around a bit and then I got up with the intention of going to the bathroom, my body had other plans and I promptly fell down.
After several attempts to stand my legs finally started working and I stumbled to the bathroom, one hand on the wall for support. After carefully doing my business I headed back to bed, once more with my hand on the wall to keep me propped up. This worked well until I got to the entrance to the kitchen, there was no longer a wall to hold me up and I fell sideways into the kitchen. I then slowly crawled back to bed and went to sleep. The next morning I woke up feeling fine and Ms. Jones and I went to brunch with Crazy Jen and her mother. In the car ride to the restaurant I started to get nauseous and upon I arriving I ran to the bathroom and barfed my guts out. I then sat miserably at the table while everyone ate.
And that's the Morphine story. Remember kids drugs are bad mmmkay?
Edited by DrJones*, : No reason given.
Just a monkey in a long line of kings.
If "elitist" just means "not the dumbest motherfucker in the room", I'll be an elitist!
*not an actual doctor
™ Version 4.2
