Hello Buz,
As SophistiCat already hinted at, I think that your problem lies in a conflation of common sense and logic. They are not the same. For example, our common sense tells us that the sun orbits the earth. After all, we can see it happening everyday. But if we apply rigorous logic to all the observed facts, then we must conclude that the earth revolves around its axis, which creates the
illusion of the sun orbiting the earth.
The following anecdote about the philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein nicely illustrates my point. He once asked a friend: "Why do people always say that it was natural for Man to assume that the sun went round the Earth, rather than that the Earth was rotating?" His friend replied: "Well, obviously because it just looked as if the sun was going round the Earth." Wittgenstein then asked: "Well, what would it have looked like if it had looked as if the Earth was rotating?"
You might want to read it again - I know I did - to fully appreciate the profound insight Wittgenstein expressed here. I hope it shows that common sense is not always guaranteed to tell us how things really work.
On top of that, your present problems with all things quantum probably stem from the fact that our common sense notions of the world are derived from our experiences with it
on our own, intermediate, scale. Quantum physics, on the other hand, deals with things on an unimaginably small scale, while Einstein's relativity theory deals with things on an equally unimaginably large scale. Things simply do not behave in the same way in these three realms - the very small, the intermediate, and the very large.
Elementary particles, often depicted as tiny billiard balls, do not behave like real billiard balls, and billiard balls themselves do not behave like stars and planets. Each category has its own particulars as far as physics is concerned, and we are simply most used to the way billiard balls behave. Both quantum and relativistic effects are unobservable in this middle range, so if we base our understanding of either quantum mechanics or Big Bang cosmology on our experience with billiard balls, we are bound to go wrong somewhere.
I hope this helps.
"Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge: it is those who know little, not those who know much, who so positively assert that this or that problem will never be solved by science." - Charles Darwin.