Crash, I do see what you're saying, and like RH, I agree that women should learn how to protect themselves. I think that one thing alone would save many women from the horror of rape, but I don't think women carrying guns is necessarily the right answer, nor is a deep-seated mistrust of every single male on the planet.
The fact is, most women who have been raped end up with a serious mistrust of all men they meet - for good reason. That is inevitable and those feelings don't go away - at least not without a lot of self-reflection and/or therapy.
You will probably ask WHY would you want those feelings of distrust to go away. Why not mistrust every man you meet?
Thing is, I think many women do, to a point, look at every man they meet as a potential rapist - even the women who have never been raped. We've seen the news and we've talked to our friends. But you know what? It's really hard to keep that mindset when you find you like the man. You WANT to trust him. You WANT to think he's a good man who will treat you well and protect you if you need it. You WANT to have him as a friend. It's almost a 'need' to find a man you can trust and women always fall for a sweet-talkin' man.
And sometimes, you make a mistake in judgement. Many times, that's the hardest part about rape - the fact that you allowed yourself to trust someone who then violates your person - mind, body, and soul.
If you failed yourself in that regard, where else might you fail yourself? You lose trust in your ability to judge situations and people... and you also lost trust in your intuition. Women tend you have a very well developed sense of intuition, and we depend on this a great deal.
That's why I think women cannot go through life with a deep seated mistrust of every man they meet. We already do mistrust men to a point, but at some point, that mistrust has to become trust if we want to have a relationship with him - and that's also the point where rapes are most common. We've let our guard down and then the rapist makes his move.
Ask any man who's dated a recent victim of rape how easy it is to have a relationship with them. It isn't. You cannot have an intimite relationship with someone who thinks you can/will hurt them. Similarly, women can not have a healthy relationship with a man they don't trust.
Perhaps the problem lies with our evolutionary path. Although not so much the case today, human females have in the past depended entirely on their males for protection. Females HAD to put their trust in the male companions and I think that instinct is still strongly ingrained in women today.
Personally, I am not sure rape can ever be abolished, and that thought alone is terrifying.
This message has been edited by roxrkool, 11-24-2004 12:02 PM