Evolutionist humour

Here's something posted on christianforums.com by a guy called Nathan Poe - I'm glad to say that it made me smile after a very long day.

quote:

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Statements of Faith... in plain English...
A One-Act play you can perform at home!

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Scene 1: An office of a major YEC Organization

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Enter YEC ORGANIZER Stage Right. Enter Scientists 1 & 2 Stage Left.

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YEC Organizer: "We have a Bible. We've studied it extensively our entire lives. We say that it means...

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[Insert Uberliteral interpretation of Genesis here]

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"Since this is our faith, and our faith cannot possibly be wrong, because... well, it just can't! then Every bit of scientific data we find will support our theory. Now, Get to work!"

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Scientists 1 & 2 (in unison): right, boss!

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YEC O: "Remember, we're doing the Lord's work here..."

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[Exeunt]

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Scene 2: The same, six months later

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Enter YEC O and scientists, as before:

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Scientist 1: "Hey, look at what I've discovered! [Insert Geological finding here]"

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YEC O: "Umm.... how does it prove our interpretation of Genesis is correct?"

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Scientist 1: "Well.... it doesn't, really. It would only make sense if the earth were 4 billion years old."

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YEC O: "You're looking at it wrong! Come back when you see it through the eyes of the Holy Spirit!

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Scientist 1: "Well... how will I know when I have the Holy Spirit?

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YEC O: "When He tells you the same thing I've been telling you, of course!

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Scientist 2: "You know, [Geological finding by Scientist 1] might be possible due to a world-wide flood..."

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YEC O: "That's it! Theflooddidit!"

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Scientist 2: "...hold on, you didn't let me finsih. I said it might be possible, if we also saw [Insert supporting evidence here], which we don't, and if we didn't also see [insert falsifying evidence here], which, unfortunately, we do. So I guess...

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YEC O: "never mind that! Send this out for publication right now: [Scientists 1 & 2] Prove Young Earth AND Global Flood with [Geological Finding]! Jesus will be so proud of us! Remember, we're doing the Lord's work here...

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[Exeunt]

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Scene 3: The same, three weeks later

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Scientist 1: "Talk.Origins ripped our article a new one..."

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YEC O: "Well, they're Godless Atheists; their opinion doesn't count. Remember, we're doing the Lord's work..."

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Scientist 2: "None of the scientific journals will print our report. One of them said, 'even a dyslexic eight-year-old could find the gaping holes in the research...'"

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YEC O: "EVIL ATHEISTIC EVOLUTIONIST SECULAR HUMANIST SATANIC CONSPIRACY (Homosexual Agenda, too...)! Trying to keep the Holy Bible out of the classrooms where it belongs!....

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Scientist 1: "Um..... right."

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YEC O: "Ok, what else have we got?"

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Scientist 2: "Well.... they still haven't found any missing links this week..."

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YEC O: "PERFECT! We've refuted Darwinism! Send that out for publication! Don't forget to mention that Darwin recanted on his deathbed..."

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Scientist 1: "Actually, He never--

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YEC O: "NEVER MIND! It proves evolution's false! Never mind if it really happened! Remember, we're doing the Lord's work here..."

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Scientist 2: "Whatever..." [Trudges off to his typewriter]

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YEC O: "Hmmm.... I'm starting to wonder if that guy's really a Christian..."

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[Exeunt]

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The Rock Hound