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Author Topic:   Evolutionist humour
IrishRockhound
Member (Idle past 4435 days)
Posts: 569
From: Ireland
Joined: 05-19-2003


Message 1 of 6 (93806)
03-22-2004 6:09 AM


Here's something posted on christianforums.com by a guy called Nathan Poe - I'm glad to say that it made me smile after a very long day.
quote:
Statements of Faith... in plain English...
A One-Act play you can perform at home!
Scene 1: An office of a major YEC Organization
Enter YEC ORGANIZER Stage Right. Enter Scientists 1 & 2 Stage Left.
YEC Organizer: "We have a Bible. We've studied it extensively our entire lives. We say that it means...
[Insert Uberliteral interpretation of Genesis here]
"Since this is our faith, and our faith cannot possibly be wrong, because... well, it just can't! then Every bit of scientific data we find will support our theory. Now, Get to work!"
Scientists 1 & 2 (in unison): right, boss!
YEC O: "Remember, we're doing the Lord's work here..."
[Exeunt]
Scene 2: The same, six months later
Enter YEC O and scientists, as before:
Scientist 1: "Hey, look at what I've discovered! [Insert Geological finding here]"
YEC O: "Umm.... how does it prove our interpretation of Genesis is correct?"
Scientist 1: "Well.... it doesn't, really. It would only make sense if the earth were 4 billion years old."
YEC O: "You're looking at it wrong! Come back when you see it through the eyes of the Holy Spirit!
Scientist 1: "Well... how will I know when I have the Holy Spirit?
YEC O: "When He tells you the same thing I've been telling you, of course!
Scientist 2: "You know, [Geological finding by Scientist 1] might be possible due to a world-wide flood..."
YEC O: "That's it! Theflooddidit!"
Scientist 2: "...hold on, you didn't let me finsih. I said it might be possible, if we also saw [Insert supporting evidence here], which we don't, and if we didn't also see [insert falsifying evidence here], which, unfortunately, we do. So I guess...
YEC O: "never mind that! Send this out for publication right now: [Scientists 1 & 2] Prove Young Earth AND Global Flood with [Geological Finding]! Jesus will be so proud of us! Remember, we're doing the Lord's work here...
[Exeunt]
Scene 3: The same, three weeks later
Scientist 1: "Talk.Origins ripped our article a new one..."
YEC O: "Well, they're Godless Atheists; their opinion doesn't count. Remember, we're doing the Lord's work..."
Scientist 2: "None of the scientific journals will print our report. One of them said, 'even a dyslexic eight-year-old could find the gaping holes in the research...'"
YEC O: "EVIL ATHEISTIC EVOLUTIONIST SECULAR HUMANIST SATANIC CONSPIRACY (Homosexual Agenda, too...)! Trying to keep the Holy Bible out of the classrooms where it belongs!....
Scientist 1: "Um..... right."
YEC O: "Ok, what else have we got?"
Scientist 2: "Well.... they still haven't found any missing links this week..."
YEC O: "PERFECT! We've refuted Darwinism! Send that out for publication! Don't forget to mention that Darwin recanted on his deathbed..."
Scientist 1: "Actually, He never--
YEC O: "NEVER MIND! It proves evolution's false! Never mind if it really happened! Remember, we're doing the Lord's work here..."
Scientist 2: "Whatever..." [Trudges off to his typewriter]
YEC O: "Hmmm.... I'm starting to wonder if that guy's really a Christian..."
[Exeunt]

The Rock Hound

Replies to this message:
 Message 2 by Denesha, posted 03-22-2004 6:23 AM IrishRockhound has not replied
 Message 6 by Minnemooseus, posted 03-23-2004 9:55 PM IrishRockhound has not replied

  
Denesha
Inactive Member


Message 2 of 6 (93808)
03-22-2004 6:23 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by IrishRockhound
03-22-2004 6:09 AM


Lovely text Irishrockhound.
It works, I mean smiling.
Is it not a little bit overstated?
I loved the "Darwin recanted on his deathbed..." section.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by IrishRockhound, posted 03-22-2004 6:09 AM IrishRockhound has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by RAZD, posted 03-22-2004 10:28 AM Denesha has not replied

  
RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 3 of 6 (93832)
03-22-2004 10:28 AM
Reply to: Message 2 by Denesha
03-22-2004 6:23 AM


deathbed story
I loved the "Darwin recanted on his deathbed..." section.
that is one of those creatortionista lies that keeps going the rounds
see:
http://www.creationtruth.com/articles/didcdrecant.htm

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

This message is a reply to:
 Message 2 by Denesha, posted 03-22-2004 6:23 AM Denesha has not replied

  
DC85
Member (Idle past 379 days)
Posts: 876
From: Richmond, Virginia USA
Joined: 05-06-2003


Message 4 of 6 (93997)
03-22-2004 10:38 PM


Even if he did take it back on his death bed it doesn't change anything... His Ideas still make perfect sense. I don't see what the deal is about it... IF he did you have to figure he lived in a time when Creation was the Only "right" thought you can have. IF he did it could have been for a number of reasons... For Instance make peace with someone.... etc... It still doesnt change anything
[This message has been edited by DC85, 03-22-2004]

Replies to this message:
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1404 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 5 of 6 (94014)
03-23-2004 1:23 AM
Reply to: Message 4 by DC85
03-22-2004 10:38 PM


yes. I had one fellow tell me that gallileo willingly recanted. we know he didn't (and mocked his captors in his last writings), but we also know that the reality of the earth going around the sun does not depend on our beliefs.

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist

This message is a reply to:
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Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3941
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 6 of 6 (94268)
03-23-2004 9:55 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by IrishRockhound
03-22-2004 6:09 AM


At the risk of thrashing the theme of the topic
The nature of the story seems too reminiscent of how the Bush administration handles their intelligence data.
Moose

Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by IrishRockhound, posted 03-22-2004 6:09 AM IrishRockhound has not replied

  
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