Amlodhi,
Hmmmmm. You say,
Exactly my point. Many of us spent years sincerely wanting there to be an answer, then hoping there was an answer, then pretending there was an answer.
Some of us finally just got fed-up with the pretending.
Oh, yeah. If pretending, using the right protocols, doesn't produce some encouraging response, I usually move on to other hypotheses rather quickly. Sometimes, I know that I failed because I couldn't do the protocols. Such as, in Chem Lab. But, then, I do lean on chemists to get that job done.
My presense in these forums is partly based on my opinion that the most important subject in the world is applied epistemology, or what methodology is best for getting at the truth. This subject is widely neglected, and as a result, many have to learn a lot the hard way. It wasn't until I was thoroughly trained in H-D science that I was able to make my pretending work for me, to get me the truth. Actually, though, it was the heart to hope and learn that I really was having problems with. But, that's a point of H-D science, too. It protects against fatal subjectivity. As long as you really do choose to live, and want as much life as possible, I think learning that methodology will lead you to "discover" what you were pretending had a measure of truth to it.
Stephen