Register | Sign In

Understanding through Discussion

EvC Forum active members: 64 (9159 total)
4 online now:
Newest Member: K.Rose
Post Volume: Total: 915,052 Year: 2,309/9,624 Month: 154/1,588 Week: 83/267 Day: 3/40 Hour: 2/1

Thread  Details

Email This Thread
Newer Topic | Older Topic
Author Topic:   The "Real Story"
Member (Idle past 5848 days)
Posts: 3228
Joined: 01-09-2002

Message 1 of 5 (337096)
07-31-2006 11:16 PM

The following is inspired by jar's statement of belief and subsequent discussion on (now) two threads. I'm pretty sure this fictionalized account is roughly in line with the OP statement of belief. Although somewhat tongue-in-cheek, I think it's pretty internally consistent. I feel the version of Christianity jar has proposed is the most "Christian" of the lot.
Without further ado:
Scene: The line-up outside the custom’s house.
Peter: Next!
Atheist: Umm, I guess that’s me.
Peter: Hmmm. An atheist, hunh? Didn’t believe in GOD at all, did you? Surprised to see me?
Atheist: Well, yeah, obviously. (Shuffles feet. Figures he’s had it, so as a “last great act of defiance”). Dammit, you all didn’t make it real evident, you know? Why did you guys give me a brain, intellect, curiosity, and all that, and then set up everything around to make it look like you didn’t exist? What did you expect?
Peter: Hush up. (Opens Book). Let’s see. Pretty standard range of peccadillos, nothing out of the ordinary. Hmm, never harmed or cheated anyone deliberately. Raised a loving family. Played the cards you were dealt fairly. Never blamed anyone for your own faults, and mostly forgave others theirs. Worked a lot in places and with people much less fortunate than you were, at some cost to yourself, I see. Humm, hmmm. Not especially racist or xenophobic. Figured everyone was the same species, after all, and deserved respect on their own individual merits. Taught your kids your values. For what it’s worth, they seem to be on the right track, by the way. Cracked a fair amount of jokes about GOD in your time I see.
Atheist (more than a little embarrassed, and more certain than ever he’s a goner): Sorry about that.
Peter: Don’t worry about it. I made up some of them myself and sent them around. Think GOD can’t take a joke? Hmmm, I suppose your kids are all atheists?
Atheist: Well, erm, no not all of them, I guess. I taught them to look at the facts, and decide for themselves. To think on their own. One’s a sort of vague deist, near as I can make out. Not sure what the others will end up - but (again, defiantly) that’s their choice, isn’t it? That’s the way I raised them. IF you all hadn’t been so gawd-awful cryptic .
Peter: Yeah, yeah. I got that part. Okay, you lived a pretty good life, and positively affected those around you. Left the world incrementally better than it would have been without your presence in it. Go on through.
Atheist: What? That’s it? I thought I was damned for eternity.
Peter: Yeah, I get that a lot. Look, think of it this way. In most ways, you lived it even if you didn’t believe it. You didn’t need belief. You were simply a reasonably good person - and you never deviated substantially from that. You held to your values in the face of many challenges and temptations. You were pretty true to yourself and pretty much true to others. You were, by definition, a Good Person. Why do you think you wouldn’t qualify?
Atheist: What about all that stuff about Hell, and all? I mean, I used to get people telling me all the time I was damned to hell because I rejected Christianity. You mean Hell doesn’t exist?
Peter: Oh yeah. It exists. And it’s waaay worse than anything you could imagine. However, there are waaay more non-Christians created by GOD than there are Christians. Why do you think S/He would have made somebody just to send them to Hell on the sole basis they weren’t “Christian”? And a bunch of them are going to get a rather rude surprise when they get up here as well (*chuckles grimly*) Anything else?
Atheist: Okay, I guess. Ummm . ?
Peter: What!?
Atheist: Umm, is my dog here? I mean, I really miss her .
Peter (exasperated): Yeah, yeah. Of course. She was a Good Dog. Check the database when you get to your room.
Atheist (flabbergasted): We have Internet?
Peter: Naturally. Who do you think invented it? Oh, by the way, don’t go head to head with Judas in Alpha Centauri. He’s a killer. Now move along, you’re holding up the line. We’ve only got eternity, you know.

Replies to this message:
 Message 2 by jar, posted 08-04-2006 5:01 PM Quetzal has not replied
 Message 3 by robinrohan, posted 08-05-2006 10:24 AM Quetzal has not replied

Newer Topic | Older Topic
Jump to:

Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved

™ Version 4.2
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024