Your favourite Bible absurdity

I think I may have a new favourite:In Genesis 20 we have a second example of Abraham pimping out Sarah in order to accumulate some slaves and animals. Abraham had already pimped out Sara to the pharaoh in Genesis 12 of course. Although these may be different versions of the same event, no matter.The absurdity is when you look at what the text claims happened:Apparently Abraham has had to say that Sarah is his sister because if word got out that she was his wife then he may be killed by jealous men who would want to marry her.Well, when news that she was Abrahams sister got to Abimelech he sent for her and took her into his palace.God appears to Abimelech in a dreamGenesis 20:3-7 But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, "Indeed you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is a man's wife."
But Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, "Lord, will You slay a righteous nation also? Did he not say to me, "She is my sister'? And she, even she herself said, "He is my brother.' In the integrity of my heart and innocence of my hands I have done this."
And God said to him in a dream, "Yes, I know that you did this in the integrity of your heart. For I also withheld you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her. Now therefore, restore the man's wife; for he is a prophet, and he will pray for you and you shall live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours."
The text claims that Abimelech has taken Sarah when she is already married. This certainly implies that he finds her very attractive, has perhaps even married her, He certainly wanted to have sex with her and it was only because God had stopped him that he never achieved this.What is absurd about this, well not a lot really until you readGenesis 17:17: Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear? Icky or what? Lusting after a ninety year old chick!Perhaps this is just a retelling of an older story, the first version, in Genesis 12, is a little more plausible becasue we do not know Sarah's age. In that version she also has married the Pharaoh, so she more than likely had sex with him, and we don't know that Sarah is Abraham's sister in this version either.So perhaps the editor Genesis 20 has tried to remove some of the more upsetting features of Genesis 12: He removes the stigma of the patriarch's wife sleeping with another man, he removes the lie that Abraham tells in chapt. 12 by informing us that Sarah is indeed his sister. He doesn't remove the fact that Abraham thought of his wife simply as a possession to do with what he wanted, including pimping her out for a very good profit.He must have really loved that woman, and what an example to all of us this good prophet of God sets.Brian

Absurdity? Haven't seen one yet.------------------
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You do not see anything absurd about lusting after a 90 year old woman?You do not see anything absurd about wanting a 90 year old woman so much that it takes God to stop you?You do not see anything absurd about a king who has the choice of any woman in the land lusting after a 90 year old woman.You do not see anything absurd in pimping out your wife, not once but twice?Of course, you wouldn't, however if it was in the Quran you'd be peeing yourself laughing Brian.

Watch it Brian! I hope to lust after a 90 year old woman some day. (I wish it was farther in the future though).

LOL, I hope when I am 90 I am lusting over a slightly younger model!Oh, I mailed Rives about the email, still waiting a response.Brian.

read this link reagarding Ex 17:14http://EvC Forum: Am'alek -->EvC Forum: Am'alek
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NoBody[This message has been edited by NoBody, 12-04-2003]

Good point! Lemme check out this thread. I'll be back!

You do realize in the Genesis account life spans were on average around 400-500 years old.

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The earth is flat.

Yes of course I do, the average age preflood is a bit higher than 500 years, but that’s irrelevant.I am also aware that these absurd life spans are all before the flood, after the flood, the ages settle down to something a little more reasonable.Genesis 6:3 has God limiting the life of humans to 120 years. Then the LORD said, "My Spirit will not contend with man forever, for he is mortal; his days will be a hundred and twenty years." You also appear not to have noticed Genesis 17:17: Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?Abraham is shocked to discover that people of his and Sarah’s age are to have children, why would he laugh if this was not unusual?You may also want to ask why Abraham lived to be 175 years of age when God limited humans to 120 years.Brian.

Bible: Brian: I've not read the thread and pardon if anybody's already said it, but isn't that what the text prophesies, that the name will become unknown, blotted out except by God's words which are not to pass away?? I think that's just another cool prophecy fulfilled.

Hi Buz,It says God will completely blot out the memory of Amalek from under heaven. There is no 'except' to be found.You should know by now that there is not a single Bible prophecy that has been fulfilled.Brian.

Hi Brian,

quote:

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Originally posted by Brian

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...the first version, in Genesis 12, is a little more plausible becasue we do not know Sarah's age.

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But only a little more plausible, because from Gen. 12:4, we do know that Sarah was at least 65 yrs. old when they were in Egypt.So, if (from Gen. 18:11), Sarah at age 90 was "old and well stricken with age", it is a bit hard to imagine that at 65+ she would have been so "very fair" that Abram would be afraid that the Egyptians would kill him to have her.And of course, as you say, this makes the subsequent Abimelech sequel absurd in the extreme.Namaste'Amlodhi

If abraham himself realizes the unusual behavior, then why call it absurd?

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The earth is flat.

quote:

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prophex:

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If abraham himself realizes the unusual behavior, then why call it absurd?

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It is nowhere indicated that Abraham considers these behaviors unusual. The only thing Abraham considers unusual is that his "old" and "well stricken in age" wife could still conceive (even with God's direct intervention).In both the Egypt and Gerar (Abimelech) stories, no unusual behavior is noted (by Abraham or any one else). On the contrary, in both stories, Abraham makes it clear that he is afraid for his life because Sarah is so "very fair" that all the men of the land will desire her and kill him to have her.The absurdity is that Sarah is "well stricken with age" and past menopause in one story and a femme fatale in the one which chronologically follows.>> Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is much farther away.Namaste'Amlodhi

I disagree. There are Biblical prophecies which have been fulfilled. For example, the prophecies of Psalms, Isaiah, Daniel, Joel, Genesis, etc, in the New Testament. While I understand that many will reject the divinity of Christ, questioning His historicity is a little extreme, given that He is recorded in extra-Biblical literature, including Tacitus and Josephus. This Man was born, lived, and was crucified by the Romans, and by all logical standards in the Book He was written about in, left that tomb after a really rough weekend and managed to save the world while He was at it.