Your favourite Bible absurdity

And I assume the next thing we'll see is a chick in blue top shooting away at the zombies?[sorry, too much playing Resident Evil]

LOL was it the same one as our friends worship?

Wow, I was raised a Catholic, and I don't ever remember them telling me that Jesus was either around at the begining of creation nor that he had always existed.I was taught that his existence began when he was born.

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Jesus is morre real than that monkey man or missing link thing.

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Wow, we have Jesus' fossilized skeleton or skull, then?

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you can check outside the bible for the existence of jesus and there is evidence and a lot of it.

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Really? Like what evidence?

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If jesus is real so must have moses,abraham, adam, and the creation.

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Excuse me? How on earth does this follow logically?I could just as easily say, "If Jesus is real, so must unicorns have existed." (You do know that unicorns are mentioned in the Bible, don't you?)

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Jesus is a witness of creation and im afraid theres no witness of evolution

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Um, actually, we have and do observe Evolution all the time. Here's a link to quite a few examples of evidence. Let me know if you want more:29+ Evidences for Macroevolution: The Scientific Case for Common DescentAnyway, do you really think that every single one of the hundreds of thousands of scientistswho use evolutionary theory every day in their work are completely deluded in the same way?

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It is impossible to have different views of the bible so all christians will agree on this statements.

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So, I suppose that you have a different explanation for why there are hundreds and hundreds of different Christian denominations in the US alone if everyone sees the Bible in exactly the same way, then?

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2 plus 2 is always four. Theres no other way of seing it. the bible is the same.

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Actually, there are many different translations of the Bible, each containing it's own mistakes of translation, word choices, and omissions or additions, depending upon who ordered and did the translation.The King James Version, for instance, contains quite a few translation errors where other Bibles have fewer.

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Different views come from people who want to accomodate the bible to their beliefs. Theviews presented here are from people who accomodate themselves to the bible not the other way around. An integral is an integral and a comandment is a comandment. The bible is not relative.

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Ah, engineers. They think because math can deliver unambiguous, absolute answers, so does (or must) everything else.I'm sorry, but the Bible as a whole does not provide anything close to, "2+2=4". It is very ambiguous and quite open to interpretation because of this ambiguity. Add to that that the many clear errors and contradictions and, well, 2+2 starts to add up to 6 3/4.

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"In the end this comes down to a belief that Christians should not study and try to understand the Bible - they should believe Jonathan Sarfatti instead."

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Those who do study it will reach the same conclusions.

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So, Sarfartti is the ultimate arbiter of Biblical truth for all time and forever?Couldn't it be that you think his interpretation is correct because you want to, because it fits into your own beliefs?

HI schrafinator, I am sure it also teaches that 1+1+1 = 3 !

1 + 1 + 1 = 3!?????Well thats wrong 3! = three factorial = 3 times 2 times 1 = 6On a related note the bible does say that Pi = 3.......[This message has been edited by joz, 06-25-2003]

I don't know Andya, the blond in the movie was pretty tasty, I watched about 15 minutes of the movie just because as I turned on the TV she was in her full screen glory. After 15 minutes that was enough of a very stupid movie and I went to the news.

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... Zeuss sitting up there with his ambrosia and coming down to impregnate good looking babes

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... ahem ... while disguised as a domestic animal.------------------
No webpage found at provided URL: www.hells-handmaiden.com[This message has been edited by John, 06-25-2003]

The bible is an absurdity all in itself in my opinoin.Even though it may not be funny it is true.

Wait... Isn't that 1+1+1=1?------------------
No webpage found at provided URL: www.hells-handmaiden.com

LOL yeah you are correct !Now you know why I stick to theo and archaeology and very seldom get involved in this complicated science stuff

Schraf, Are you sure you heard that in a Roman Catholic (or even an Orthodox) church? Official RCC doctrine is based on the councils, and the Nicene Creed, quoted in Catholic churches at every mass, says, "We believe in one Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God...true God from true God." The original goes on to damn anyone who "says there was a time when the Son did not exist."It was a pretty big deal to argue about for several centuries and the "eternal Son" folks won.

Hmmm, maybe I am inaccurately remembering what I was taught, or maybe I just wasn't taught much and just assumed what I thought made sense.Oh, and I was raised Roman Catholic.

Yep, me, too. Altar boy and everything.

Jesus Christ withering up a fig tree for not bearing fruit, even though he came across it out of season. Then he proclaimed his Evil Eye trickery as proof of God's powers. Fun fun fun in a fluffy chair!------------------

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All the boys think she's a spy

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Dr. Seuss New Testament...I am Jesus.Jesus I am.Now you may eatLobster and ham.Dr. Seuss Leviticus:Thou shalt not do it with a goat.Thou shalt not do it in a boat.Thou shalt not do it with thine ass,Much less thy neighbor's, saucy lass!Thou shalt not do it with an elf.Thou shalt not do it by thyself.Thou shalt not do it in a flood.Thou shalt not do it if there's blood.Thou shalt not do it if thee match.(Don't thou know what thou couldst catch?)Thou shalt not do it with thy mother.But thou can with brother's brother.Thou shalt not do it with thy dadUnless he's sloppy drunk or mad.Thou shalt not do it here or there.Thou shalt not do it anywhere!