Jestings, backbitings, maliciousness, debates, hate, blasphemies, frolicking, womanizing, whoremonging, porno, terrorizing, intimidators of believers, abusers of ourselves, lust-stricken, filthy, etc. etc.
I don't see that these are all sins. Certainly, some of these are in poor taste or are outright infringing on another persons rights, but personally I don't believe that there is anything inherently bad about jesting, debates, blasphemy, frolicking, pornography, "self-abuse" (masturbation, I assume?), or being particularly lusty.
If they're not wrong, why should I be concerned that a god might judge me for them? Or why should I be expected to pay penance for them? And is "death" really the appropriate penance for a sin like, I dunno, gluttony? (Why aren't rape or murder so-called "deadly sins"?)
I find the sin thing inconsistent at best and at worst, a guilt trip for very natural behaviors.
If I face my Maker with say good works, that could never pay for a single sin nor make me righteous and holy.
Why not? Why can't a big donation to the poor or homeless pay for a peek at your dad's
Playboys?
What a damnable lie for me to believe God would save me for heroically giving my life for my friends, despite it being Christ-like.
Well, with the callous, unjust god some people appear to worship, I can believe this. The question is, would a good and just god ignore a self-sacrifice?
I just find the moral calculus you're using questionable. Why so harsh on yourself? Why can't good deeds cancel out bad ones? I think, in this life anyway, good works can redeem for bad deeds. I'd feel cheated if everyone who accepted Jesus went to the same afterlife, no matter their earthly deeds. After all, who's to say that Hitler hadn't accepted Jesus as his savior? Wasn't he Lutheran?