Testing The Christian Apologists

You almost had it right to begin with then went and ruined it with the above. Now it's correct.

Of course!He reaches out, no matter where in the world you may live. He doesn’t wait for you to explore your heart. He doesn’t call waiting for you to answer. He chooses you.He reaches out with his noodley appendage and throttles His chosen ones’ minds adding both enlightenment and a spicy marinara.In praise of His Noodleyness, The Flying Spaghetti Monster (May Parmesan be upon Him),R’Amen. The squiggly snake was but a manifestation of The Most Ancient of Noodles.He had throttled the brains of Eve infusing her mind with His Holy Enlightenment and a ladle of savory Marinara. She then did reject the lies of the usurper and she then knew the creator of man and midget, the giver of pasta, the simmerer of sauce, from age to holy age.

I'm sure your cult would concentrate on conversions to itself. It makes you seem right. But you never mention how many millions of your former christians have turned to Pastafarianism. And how many from all the other sects and cults around the world have embraced The FSM (May Parmesan Be Upon Him)?Boatloads. Absolute boatloads. Actually, pirate ship loads. Lots and lots of pirate ship loads.And who can blame them?Gone is the threat of heaven and the boring eternity of constant genuflecting to a ghost. Gone is the threat of hell and the lake of fire.In their places are the blessings of His Noodleyness for all to share for all time yet to come. Unlimited pastas of dozens of varieties with sauces in ladles big and small of hundreds of sublime flavors potent, pungent, sweet and savory. A beer volcano with many spouting rifts of ales and lagers and all manor of individual and hybrid styles within the realm of every category of beer ever conceived by the most artisan brew masters. Even soft drinks and wines. And the Stripper Factory. Pole dancing, table dancing, lap dancing, male, female, both, neither. All this for the eternal pleasures of all the dead former human beings, believers or not. All will partake of His bounty and His Holy Communal Table.Did I mention the comfy couches and the three-day weekends?Our pasta, who art in colander, draining be thy noodles.
Thy pasta done, Thy sauce be yum, topped off with grated Parmesan.
Give us this day our garlic bread and strippers on our tables for entertainment.
Forgive us our burpings, as we forgive those who beer belch around us.
And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us some meat sauce.
For thine is the pasta, the meatball, the onion, and the bay leaf, forever and ever. R'Amen.Edited by AZPaul3, : No reason given.

All religions are cults. That is the very definition of the word.Even in the vernacular you are trying to use, a religion is but a cult that thinks too highly of themselves.

That, Sir, is heresy!Fortunately, in FSM (May Pesto Be Upon Him) Pastafarianism such heresies are accepted, even encouraged.Welcome Brother, Fellow of the Order of the Colander.May His Noodley Appendage throttle your mind.

Not my conversation but I just have to comment.Works, no works, makes no difference. No one's going to heaven. No one's going to hell. We're all going back to that great energy well called Earth scattered amongst its ecosystems and environments to be recycled yet again. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.

Thermodynamics, especially entropy, is the law. It will not be violated no matter how hard you close your eyes, click your heels, and wish.We know from where your fantasies come. Within a religionist's head, external and objective are synonyms for emotional and wishful thinking. Heavy on the hypocrisy.

Thermodynamics works because of the universe. Your talking snake has nothing to say on this. Ahh, yes. Emotion and wishful thinking. The religionist's external objectivity. No wonder you people lost the war for influence in this society.

I'm certainly not a pansy. I'm more a Purple Dawn Camellia.

That is the whole point of ringo’s argument. The vast majority consensus of Christian beliefs are formed not by what’s in the bible but by what the self-serving priests have interpreted.According to the story itself, the actual script as published, your majority consensus Christian belief that the snake lied is false. This glaring disconnect between what you choose to believe and the actual book will not be swept away no matter how insistent you become. The snake stuff is not going away.

No. No we don't.

I'm allowed to be stupid and illogical. It is my right just as you are one of its greatest practitioner.But as for grace toward the rest of the human race you christians destroyed that millennia ago when you abandoned the teachings of your prophet.

Not quite right. I'm not so sure this is political on Percy's part. It seems it's a bit history and intransigence on both your parts.For all that intellect you can be intractably crazy stubborn. Percy is patient in trying to control you but I think he has let your history cause an overreaction.But then psychology is not my strong suit. I seem to have this emotional aversion to asterisks.This is not the right thread. I stop. Please stop.Edited by AZPaul3, : No reason given.

So this great commission is what? Just Christians trying to rub it in?I’m saved and you’re not. Na-na na-na na na! Precisely the reason to chuck the whole thing into the waste bin.

You know that usually doesn't work.Reality is habit forming. Once you go red you never go back.