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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
mike the wiz
Posts: 4755
From: u.k
Joined: 05-24-2003

Message 253 of 1450 (739681)
10-26-2014 3:41 PM

Movie Quotes.
Technically speaking, I'm not a movie-addict anymore, but like with mose useless information, I tend to have the ability to retain it in my memory. I hope this is a "good try" at least. Sorry for the profanity, but they are direct quotes.
Name: "Son of Durel" - General Zod, Superman 2.
occupation: "scum sucking gutter-trash" - Toecutter, Madmax.
Address: My "cage in Elderado" - Cop, Predator 2.
Sex: "It's a kilt, SICKO!" - The Grinch.
---what do you think about our trains? "I think of it as a bucket of piss to drown rats in." - Curly, The Green Mile.
---Are our trains comfortable to sit in? "I feel like a little worm on a big fucking hook". ?
---what could we improve about our service, do you enjoy our twin-tracks? "I'll turn you into twins." - Duke, City Slickers 2.
---what do you think of the speed of our trains? "Like glaciers in winter time." - Josey Wales.
---Would you like a free ticket for filling in this questionaire? "give it to me, give it to me, come on, come on give it to me, give it to me, come on, come on give it to me...." - Nazi, Falling Down.
---Where is your destination? "This train will stop at Tukamkari." - Bounty Hunter, For a Few dollars more.
---Why are you going there? "I gochta know!" - Criminal, Dirty Harry.
---Was filling out this form difficult, and did our employees render a good service? "even with all this accumulated knowledge, when are these dummies going to learn how to use a door knob?". - Lex Luthor, - Superman 2
---Do you feel we have treated you with respect? "why do you say these things to me, when you know I will kill you for it?" -General Zod, Superman 2.
---were these forms easy to fill out? "is there no-one on this planet to even challenge me!!!" - General Zod.
---Thanks for your time. "I'm a kid, that's my job." -Kid, Uncle Buck.
---Finally, what would you say to passengers that would use our service in future? "You'll think you've been fucked by a train." Warden Norton, The Shawshank Redemption.

mike the wiz
Posts: 4755
From: u.k
Joined: 05-24-2003

Message 254 of 1450 (739685)
10-26-2014 4:49 PM
Reply to: Message 245 by Dr Adequate
09-22-2014 2:26 PM

The Year 2169:
"Jones, Peterson and sons have been working on their atmosphere-reducing megaflunk at zap-station 12 for 150 years, after 172 thousand experiments their quantum megaflunk has produced a tetra-peptide randomly, but they are no closer to producing a living cell despite many years of intelligent science, they tell me however you do nothing here in this lab but sit there and stare at a flask."
"I'm an atheist sir, I believe life will eventually create itself."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 245 by Dr Adequate, posted 09-22-2014 2:26 PM Dr Adequate has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 255 by Dr Adequate, posted 10-26-2014 5:13 PM mike the wiz has replied

mike the wiz
Posts: 4755
From: u.k
Joined: 05-24-2003

Message 256 of 1450 (739690)
10-26-2014 5:24 PM
Reply to: Message 255 by Dr Adequate
10-26-2014 5:13 PM

Not actually a reply to my post
Come on Ad, it's 1 all, we both know that.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 255 by Dr Adequate, posted 10-26-2014 5:13 PM Dr Adequate has not replied

mike the wiz
Posts: 4755
From: u.k
Joined: 05-24-2003

Message 466 of 1450 (778873)
02-25-2016 2:06 PM

"can we yet create a life or an artificial lifeform Mr Scientist?"
"why not?"
"Because we haven't accumulated enough knowledge/intelligence yet, for the problems."
"are we closer now than we were?"
"Yes, because the more knowledge and the more brains (intelligence) you throw at the problem, the closer we get"
(noticing a pattern yet folks?)
"So are you saying mr scientist, that the key to creating a life or getting closer to that level, is we need more and more intelligence/knowledge?"
"Oh I see what you are doing now - you are trying to get me to admit that knowledge and intelligence is what you need to get a life form! How dare you! what an absolute outrage, I take it all back, in fact we stand a much better chance of getting a lifeform by never doing any thinking ever again, or any experiments! Just sitting here looking at a rock and waiting for it to sprout feelers is much more likely to get us a lifeform, without any intelligence, you wretched, religious ignoramus!"
"And there was me thinking that an eyeball being constructed to see wasn't a religious notion. How silly of me your highness, and grandiose chief of educated thought. Next time my local mechanic fixes my car I'll be sure to tell him what a religious idiot he is for his belief that a car is constructed for the purpose of driving."

Replies to this message:
 Message 467 by PaulK, posted 02-25-2016 2:21 PM mike the wiz has not replied
 Message 468 by Dr Adequate, posted 02-25-2016 3:20 PM mike the wiz has not replied

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