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Author Topic:   Creativity Corner
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 1 of 86 (609738)
03-22-2011 6:45 PM


Creativity Corner
Back in the humour thread in post Message 27 a well stoned Oni suggests:
An appropriately edited Oni writes:
In fact, there are some creative people here at EvC, maybe a small book....with some original poems, songs, raps....
Well as a fan and purveoyor of such things myself that sounded like a vaguely decent idea. So here is a place for such things. EvC's very own "Creativity Corner". A place for rap, rhyme, verse, prose, limericks or whatever else takes anyone’s fancy. The following is a list of links to those I know of
Straggler
Nwr Does My Nut - Message 140
The Onifre and Sam Harris Spirituality Master Farce - Message 36
The Cath and Frog Shootemup - Message 400
EvC Forum Cast And Crew. This Rhyme Is All About YOU - Message 109
Rap Attack (Fight The Deist) - Message 103
Santa Socks It - Message 90
RAZD
RAZD's Rap Attack Response - Message 108
Bah Humbug!! - Message 99
Dr Adequate
Two By Two, Hurrah! - Message 32
Ode To People Who Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It - Message 27
Various
Limerick Shmimerick
I am sure there are many such more so if you know of such post a link to it here.
And those who are so inclined should consider this a place to post the results of their new creative inclinations.
Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

Replies to this message:
 Message 2 by Dogmafood, posted 03-23-2011 9:39 AM Straggler has replied
 Message 5 by Dr Adequate, posted 03-29-2011 12:41 AM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 3 of 86 (610217)
03-28-2011 5:08 AM
Reply to: Message 2 by Dogmafood
03-23-2011 9:39 AM


Re: Something completely different
Cool poem!! Can I ask who it is about?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 2 by Dogmafood, posted 03-23-2011 9:39 AM Dogmafood has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 4 by Dogmafood, posted 03-28-2011 6:23 PM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 6 of 86 (610340)
03-29-2011 8:25 AM
Reply to: Message 4 by Dogmafood
03-28-2011 6:23 PM


Re: Something completely different
I guess I was wondering if it rang true in any wider sense.
I think it does.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 4 by Dogmafood, posted 03-28-2011 6:23 PM Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 7 of 86 (610341)
03-29-2011 8:26 AM
Reply to: Message 5 by Dr Adequate
03-29-2011 12:41 AM


Re: Creativity Corner
Great stuff. I had somehow missed all of these.
Are they all Dr A originals?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 5 by Dr Adequate, posted 03-29-2011 12:41 AM Dr Adequate has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 8 by bluegenes, posted 03-29-2011 9:18 AM Straggler has not replied
 Message 9 by Dr Adequate, posted 03-29-2011 9:24 AM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 10 of 86 (610346)
03-29-2011 9:30 AM
Reply to: Message 9 by Dr Adequate
03-29-2011 9:24 AM


Re: Creativity Corner
I only wondered about This Is The Title because of Percy's link in Message 3. http://podblack.com/?p=1077
Frankly am well impressed by your collection.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 9 by Dr Adequate, posted 03-29-2011 9:24 AM Dr Adequate has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 11 by Dr Adequate, posted 03-29-2011 9:52 AM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 12 of 86 (610351)
03-29-2011 10:00 AM
Reply to: Message 11 by Dr Adequate
03-29-2011 9:52 AM


Re: Creativity Corner
Dr A writes:
You don't think anyone could refer to me as a "much loved friend"?
From what we at EvC know of you - It is kinda hard to imagine............
Dr A writes:
I have a slim volume available here if anyone's interested.
Aha a professional in our midst!!
Dr A writes:
Thank you.
Seriously dude - Fucking clever, piss-yer-pants funny, outrageously well "vocabularised" and kickass constructed.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 11 by Dr Adequate, posted 03-29-2011 9:52 AM Dr Adequate has not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 14 of 86 (629979)
08-21-2011 6:25 PM


Xongsmith Entry

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


(2)
Message 15 of 86 (636041)
10-03-2011 7:28 PM


The Gang of Four Vs The Agnostic Alliance - The Xongsmith Conversion
This will make no sense whatsoever to anyone who hasn't followed the Peanut Gallery or recent related threads. But hopefully those who have will get some of the references and find it mildly amusing. As ever - I have entertained myself even if no-one else.
This rhyme is about my main man Xong
No doubt his family ties are strong
Brother of the agnostic opinionated deist who is just wrong
But I'm convinced that it's with the dark side he does belong
It's time he turned to the the ungodly throng
Strags, bluegenes, Mod, Panda, PaulK... - The list is long
Time for Xongsmith to sing a different song
Let the fence sitting no more prolong
But how could that happen? What is that tale?
Listen up and I shall regale
On the question of the supernatural we disagree
To the ridiculous but massive extent of nought point three.
He’s a five point seven. I’m a proponent of six.
That is the root cause of all the verbal shoves and kicks
Yes - You may think the difference is minor
But it's all about the presence of an intelligent designer
An EvC topic of much dispute
Each side determined the other to refute
The views of the other side just don't compute
That's why the seemingly endless pursuit
Anyway — This rhyme is about that.
Bluegenes theory, rabbits and hats
And how Strags caused a family spat
All started with relentless talk of God
Brother Zen's fundamentalist agnosticism is like a lightning rod
Try to resist but cannot help ourselves
Resulted in many many threads and over sixteen hundred peanut shells!!
Debate went on and on.
EvC felt put-upon
Admin has had enough. "This has gone on far to long"
Put a sock in it or you will be gone!
But much thought did arise
And some of that I will now here reprise
RAZ wants to define science as axiomatic
But his epistemological stance is tragic
Just sweeps aside any examples that are problematic
Really is little more than a debate tactic
What are these mysterious pos-tu-lates?
Try and define them and you will end up in dire straits
Last Thursdayism. The one second universe - Such examples he just hates
Exposes agnostic nonsense as second rate.
Xong did some analysis and proudly proposed his own dilemma
The result was the much maligned anal Emma
So wedded to her he cannot see why she is so reviled
With her fake allure he has become too beguiled
Persuaded by her charms to take her up the aisle.
Now he lives in misguided bliss
But deep down he knows something is a amiss
Invites Strags to come and reminisce
In comfy chairs they sit and discuss his analy-sis
Philosophical musings over fine cognac and cigars
But Xongs so on the fence he has splinters in his arse
Puts himself at 5.7 on the Dawkins scale.
Not just sittin on the fence, he’s frikkin impaled!
His beloved anal Emma tries to lift him off but fails.
Ouch! He’s slippin!! He doesn’t like the look of those nails.
The colours gone. He’s looking pale.
Slips further down. Only adds to his travails.
But what’s that distant noise I hear?
Horses hooves and a hearty cheer.
It’s RAZD and his cheering sidekick Chuck
Here to rescue Xong? To change his luck?
RAZ - The knight in shining armour
Chuck is waving pom pons and wearing batgirl pyjamas
Rushing forth to save their fallen comrade
Better be quick. Xong’s splintered buttocks are looking increasingly frayed
Hold on dear brother cries the mighty Zen
I’ll rewrite the scales. I’ll redefine my charts.......Again!!
That’ll teach those evil pseudoskeptics.
And then we can treat your splinter wounds with anti-sceptic.
He charges forth. Keyboard in hand.
Chuck waves his pom pons does the splits and lands.
Gimme an R. Gimme an A. Gimme a Zed. Gimme a Dee.
RAZ is on yet another diagram spree!!
So many circles drawn with glee. An inarguable ability. If only they had any effect on his argument's validity. But they don't - Unfortu-nately.
Chuck does a twirl and yells (girly voice) "Go RAZ Go"
(manly voice) Teach those atheistic motherfuckers what it means to KNOOOOWWW
Strags, bluegenes Mod, Panda and all the rest.
Stand their ground. Unimpressed.
Strags cannot hide his mirth at the ridiculous manner in which Chuck is dressed
All of these colourful arguments they have already addressed
To these diagramatic tricks they are immune.
The gang of four. And the atheist platoon.
Panda fires his ant-buffoon harpoon.
Chuck falls on his pom pons like a clueless goon
Strags takes aim and shoots the Hogwarts hypothesis
RAZ says "Stand back I know how to deal with this"
He turns and runs away.
It follows him but he ducks and sways.
His dodging abilities do amaze.
Ultimately the question he does rephrase.
Setting his charts and scales all ablaze.
RAZ says - "I know let's start anew.
Then I can draw new charts and diagrams to convince all of you!!"
Panda asks if he likes jam or cheese.
RAZ replies that he's already told him it's all about tea.
Mod raises an eyebrow at this lack of epistemology. Bluegenes head in hand asks Why can't you see?
That baseless propositions have no effect on my theo-ry
But Xong is in no fit shape
To consider the finer points of this intellectual rape
That impaling point is starting to gape
He is in desperate need of an escape
"Here" says Mod "Let me help".
Xong takes his hand with a yelp.
Let us cure you of you nought point three agnosticism With an education in fallibilism
Pragmatism and coherentism too.
Slowly Xong changes his view.
And with each revelation his frayed buttocks are treated to alleviation of the pain caused by impalation.
Eventually he reaches the point of intellectual resuscitation
Well on the way to full salvation.
The light has dawned and all is well
Finally broken away from RAZ's spell
Now Xong and I are in Heathrow
Sharing a beer and discussing his bro
Will this dispute ever end?
Will it drive Percy round the bend?
I don't know and nor do you
But Xongsmith will remember those splinters everytime he poos
The moral of this story - Is that enforced agnosticism is bad for your health. Just say no.
Edited by Straggler, : Spelling

Replies to this message:
 Message 16 by Panda, posted 10-03-2011 7:49 PM Straggler has not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


(2)
Message 18 of 86 (636121)
10-04-2011 5:55 AM
Reply to: Message 17 by Chuck77
10-04-2011 2:24 AM


Chuck's Greatest Mrs
Chuckles writes:
So tell me Straggler, do you agree?
No Chuckles. I do not agree.
And for that I make no apology
Disagree on the topic of spirituality
Here to debate the nature of reality
Could just drop it. Could just let it be.
But then what is the point of E-v-C?
Discussing these topics relentlessly
Never been known to lack tenacity
If you don't like - Go find a tree.
Give it a hug. It won't fight back.
Won't treat your misapprehensions to verbal attacks
Won't pick you up on your uncomprehending ways
Or send you into a vocabularic daze
You and your tree can just be friends
Or take things further. Who knows where it ends?
No disagreements in Chuck's world of let's pretend
Although conversation pays few dividends
A man and his tree. A match made in heaven.
All is bliss for Chuck seventy seven
But one day after a tree-cuddle you need a leak
Nobody around. Should be OK to sneak.
Drop your pants. Give it a tweak.
But then the trees roots begin to creak
The tree roars "How dare you piss on me"
We were destined for human-foliage matrimony
Now it will end in acrimony
All because you needed to pee
With urine on his feet Chuck has to flee
Pants around his ankles back to E-v-C
A harsh lesson in life's travails
But now he's back on RAZ's scales
Back again with the agnostic alliance
Still bumbling along through their misappliance of science
At least with RAZ wrong or right
You know he's always up for the fight
Convincing those not so bright
That Venn diagrams are a sign of intellectual might
A few others add passion and the odd insight
You however simply prance around in tights
RAZ is the leader and you his boy blunder
Whether you understand his diagrams even he has to wonder
But don't despair - some of us are here to plunder.
To show why these arguments should be put under
To demonstrate that and send the uncomprehending asunder
But. Stop. Is that the rumble of thunder?
Like the hammer blows of mighty Thor
Here come the rampaging gang of four
Modest Mod. Epistemologist supreme.
He'll ask how we know reality is not a dream.
Panda will poke fun at you. And in doing so put RAZ in quite a stew.
Cheese just is not jam. This will always be true.
Bluegenes has a theory still unfalsified
"Hindu Hypothesis" RAZ has cried
"Anal Emma" Xong has tried
Meanwhile your brain continues to be fried.
Couldn't even keep a tree as a bride.
Then of course, last but not least, there's me.
The focus of your ire and rhyming spree
If I was your target - I'd say you missed.
But others will ultimately judge who was dissed
Needless to say we could go on
To this rap attack we could each respond
Until admins call time and sound the gong
Either way - It's time to end this particular song
With one final question - How could you be so wrong?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 17 by Chuck77, posted 10-04-2011 2:24 AM Chuck77 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 19 by fearandloathing, posted 10-04-2011 6:42 AM Straggler has replied
 Message 21 by Chuck77, posted 10-06-2011 12:29 AM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


(1)
Message 20 of 86 (636145)
10-04-2011 10:55 AM
Reply to: Message 19 by fearandloathing
10-04-2011 6:42 AM


Re: Chuck's Greatest Mrs
"The writer who breeds more words than he needs"
Makes it a chore for the reader who reads"
A lesson many here (including myself at times) could learn.
F&L writes:
Very funny on both your parts...I needed a good laugh this morning.
Then the aim has been accomplished.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 19 by fearandloathing, posted 10-04-2011 6:42 AM fearandloathing has seen this message but not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 24 of 86 (636436)
10-06-2011 1:47 PM
Reply to: Message 22 by xongsmith
10-06-2011 3:02 AM


Re: Apropos' the Wall Street protest
I like it. It's cool.
And far more worthy of Creativity Corner than the nonsense myself and Chuck are engaging in.
But that won't stop me.....

This message is a reply to:
 Message 22 by xongsmith, posted 10-06-2011 3:02 AM xongsmith has seen this message but not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 25 of 86 (636438)
10-06-2011 1:49 PM
Reply to: Message 21 by Chuck77
10-06-2011 12:29 AM


Chuckles Bites Back
OK Chuckles. You’ve had your fun.
Shoulda given up before you even begun.
So far I had my gun only set to stun
But I’ll unravel this story you have spun
Dude how old are you? Like ninety one!
You give it large with your gangsta beef.
But that’s’ ridiculous when you’re sporting false teeth
Good job your rhymes are written rather that verbal
With those gums you sound like your suckin a gerbil
But this isn’t about your rodent perversions
We both know you still sore about Religious Conversions
It’s time for you to end your rhyme excursions
It’s time for you to stop these laboured exertions
I see you’re now displaying homophobic ten-dencies
No doubt a sad by-product of your religious depen-dencies
I ask you to just stop these please
Along with your well known proclivity for miso-gyny Message 1705
You imagine me and bluegenes in the bath
I guess that turns you on. It just makes me laugh.
You daydreaming about atheists in soapy bubbles
Makes you giggle and wriggle like Betty Rubble?
I think you protest a bit too much
Come on hun just release the clutch
Make your move. See you groove.
You got something to prove?
Come on Chuckles — I dare ya - Join the dance
Open your eyes. See the light. End the trance.
It’s a breakbeat and you can’t stand the heat
Spilt your bedpan. Urine on your feet.
You try to dance but it’s an embarrassing sight
To contain your bowels you have to fight
Murder on the dancefloor. You don’t look too well.
Not surprising judging from that ran-cid smell
You collapse in a tragic mess. Having a cardiac arrest. Pity you I must confess. If that really was your best.
Your points — All have been addressed. FAILED is your mark on this test. Now go and find another quest.
Because I have swatted you away like a pest.
But where are your friends the agnostic alliance?
They look at the floor in embarrassed silence
But it’s not over. Things get worse.
Oh Shit is your final curse.
You get taken out in a Hearse.
Geriatric rapper dances to death. Now there’s a first!!
Despite these faults I think deep down you’re a decent guy
Just deluded about the man in the sky
Like so many need to ask the question why
Even though reason and logic it does defy
All just part of the human condition
Not your fault it’s an irrational position
Maybe I should learn to live and let live
Maybe I should seek to forgive
But it’s more fun to give you grief
More fun to rhyme our beef
And when you leave — Don’t forget your teeth.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 21 by Chuck77, posted 10-06-2011 12:29 AM Chuck77 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 26 by Panda, posted 10-06-2011 2:04 PM Straggler has replied
 Message 29 by Chuck77, posted 10-08-2011 6:31 AM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 28 of 86 (636526)
10-07-2011 7:56 AM
Reply to: Message 26 by Panda
10-06-2011 2:04 PM


Re: Chuckles Bites Back
Word up homey.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 26 by Panda, posted 10-06-2011 2:04 PM Panda has seen this message but not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


(2)
Message 30 of 86 (636605)
10-08-2011 9:24 AM
Reply to: Message 29 by Chuck77
10-08-2011 6:31 AM


One Flew Over The Chuckles Nest
What's this? An end to our rhyming ructions?
Realised you cannot compete in lyrical constructions
Would you like me to provide you with instructions?
While I'm at it....Maybe I can guide you through RAZ's pseudo-logical deductions.
But let's put an end to these introductions
Turn instead to your haiku.
And your proclaimed desire to boo
Your poem was lame. That barely needs stating.
But even more sad is your need to fuck with Panda's rating
You went back in time to boo his every post
That shit makes you the one who deserves to be jeered the most.
In my last rhyme you did a dance of death
That should've signalled your final breath
Chuckleberry shuffle to much to bear
Creationist zombie. The stuff of nightmares.
But here you are. Yet again.
Hero worshipping the one called Zen
Lurching around like the living dead
Mind so open you've lost your head
Brains been splattered. But the lights are on
If ever you mattered that time has gone
Knock knock.
Is anyone there?
Tick tock.
Just a blank stare.
They say the the first sign of madness is talking to yourself.
Guess we should be concerned about your mental health. Message 405
But I have to admire your perseverence.
It almost makes up for your incoherence
Your support for RAZ goes on and on
Simply unable to see that he is wrong
Oh my gosh! Which scale shall we use?
Has MSPaint ever been so abused?
If Scientific Knowledge is the thing you want
Need more than assumptions and colourful fonts
Pseudoskepticism and logic was quite a thread.
RAZ declared himself agnostic towards the bogeyman under his bed.
Xong is a skeptic. But still on the fence.
RAZ has issues with Immaterial "Evidence"
And you Chuck. Why so tense?
Don't leave us all in sus-pence.
Come on Chuckles. Spill the beans.
Are you still having homerotic thoughts about me and bluegenes?
Am I the subject of your fantasy?
I am really flattered by your crush on me.
But whhoooaaahh!! Take it easy.
Put that away. You're making me quesy.
I'm honoured you like me. That much is clear.
The problem is you haven't washed in a year.
Let's consider Subjective Evidence of Gods
You and I disagreed. Hey - What are the odds?
You say "He" answered your prayers and fixed your shoulder.
Where there is a grain of sand you see a mystical boulder.
This is the same flawed form of evidence. That inspired war mongering presidents.You have a hotline to God. That must be immense.
But stop and think. It just makes no sense.
Subjective experiences could be fluctuations in the Matrix.
But more likely is the scientific deduction that the mind just plays tricks
Talking of which.. Here comes the agnostic alliance.
They've failed the test for sanity compliance.
Right on cue. It's the white coated men.
Come to take away the woo meister Zen
Load them up. Into the van.
Zen and Xong and you, their number one fan
RAZ - Crazed eyes full of fear
Xong - As usual he's had to many beers
Chump77 is dressed as Britney Spears
Oh no. Not another repeat.
Loss of bladder control. Again - Urine on yer feet.
Strait jackets and a padded cell
RAZ can't draw. He's not taking it well.
"Curiously. Pseudoskeptic. A priori" These words he mutters.
Warden Strags sadly shakes his head and closes the shutters.
So this story comes to an end.
The agnostic alliance gone round the bend.
Zig zagged and did a loop the loop
All in the name of woo.
But I want to get through to you
The moral this story does contain. To be so open minded it causes you pain. It's not noble to take that strain. Please please do refrain.
From being so open minded as to lose your brain.
Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 29 by Chuck77, posted 10-08-2011 6:31 AM Chuck77 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 31 by GDR, posted 10-08-2011 1:29 PM Straggler has replied
 Message 42 by Chuck77, posted 10-09-2011 3:35 AM Straggler has replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 322 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


(2)
Message 32 of 86 (636633)
10-08-2011 3:49 PM
Reply to: Message 31 by GDR
10-08-2011 1:29 PM


Re: Straggler's Strange Ideas
There was a member here named G-D-R
Who considers abiogenesis just a step far too far.
He says life cannot have come from rocks!! But look what's evolved from my socks!!
And that's why from shoe shops I'm barred.
Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 31 by GDR, posted 10-08-2011 1:29 PM GDR has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 33 by GDR, posted 10-08-2011 4:39 PM Straggler has replied

  
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