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Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
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Author | Topic: Creativity Corner | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Back in the humour thread in post Message 27 a well stoned Oni suggests:
An appropriately edited Oni writes:
Well as a fan and purveoyor of such things myself that sounded like a vaguely decent idea. So here is a place for such things. EvC's very own "Creativity Corner". A place for rap, rhyme, verse, prose, limericks or whatever else takes anyone’s fancy. The following is a list of links to those I know of
In fact, there are some creative people here at EvC, maybe a small book....with some original poems, songs, raps.... StragglerNwr Does My Nut - Message 140 The Onifre and Sam Harris Spirituality Master Farce - Message 36 The Cath and Frog Shootemup - Message 400 EvC Forum Cast And Crew. This Rhyme Is All About YOU - Message 109 Rap Attack (Fight The Deist) - Message 103 Santa Socks It - Message 90 RAZDRAZD's Rap Attack Response - Message 108 Bah Humbug!! - Message 99 Dr AdequateTwo By Two, Hurrah! - Message 32 Ode To People Who Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It - Message 27 VariousLimerick Shmimerick I am sure there are many such more so if you know of such post a link to it here. And those who are so inclined should consider this a place to post the results of their new creative inclinations. Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Cool poem!! Can I ask who it is about?
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
I guess I was wondering if it rang true in any wider sense. I think it does.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Great stuff. I had somehow missed all of these.
Are they all Dr A originals?
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
I only wondered about This Is The Title because of Percy's link in Message 3. http://podblack.com/?p=1077
Frankly am well impressed by your collection.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Dr A writes: You don't think anyone could refer to me as a "much loved friend"? From what we at EvC know of you - It is kinda hard to imagine............
Dr A writes: I have a slim volume available here if anyone's interested. Aha a professional in our midst!!
Dr A writes: Thank you. Seriously dude - Fucking clever, piss-yer-pants funny, outrageously well "vocabularised" and kickass constructed.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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This will make no sense whatsoever to anyone who hasn't followed the Peanut Gallery or recent related threads. But hopefully those who have will get some of the references and find it mildly amusing. As ever - I have entertained myself even if no-one else.
This rhyme is about my main man XongNo doubt his family ties are strong Brother of the agnostic opinionated deist who is just wrong But I'm convinced that it's with the dark side he does belong It's time he turned to the the ungodly throng Strags, bluegenes, Mod, Panda, PaulK... - The list is long Time for Xongsmith to sing a different song Let the fence sitting no more prolong But how could that happen? What is that tale? Listen up and I shall regale On the question of the supernatural we disagreeTo the ridiculous but massive extent of nought point three. He’s a five point seven. I’m a proponent of six. That is the root cause of all the verbal shoves and kicks Yes - You may think the difference is minor But it's all about the presence of an intelligent designer An EvC topic of much dispute Each side determined the other to refute The views of the other side just don't compute That's why the seemingly endless pursuit Anyway — This rhyme is about that. Bluegenes theory, rabbits and hats And how Strags caused a family spat All started with relentless talk of GodBrother Zen's fundamentalist agnosticism is like a lightning rod Try to resist but cannot help ourselves Resulted in many many threads and over sixteen hundred peanut shells!! Debate went on and on. EvC felt put-upon Admin has had enough. "This has gone on far to long" Put a sock in it or you will be gone! But much thought did ariseAnd some of that I will now here reprise RAZ wants to define science as axiomatic But his epistemological stance is tragic Just sweeps aside any examples that are problematic Really is little more than a debate tactic What are these mysterious pos-tu-lates? Try and define them and you will end up in dire straits Last Thursdayism. The one second universe - Such examples he just hates Exposes agnostic nonsense as second rate. Xong did some analysis and proudly proposed his own dilemmaThe result was the much maligned anal Emma So wedded to her he cannot see why she is so reviled With her fake allure he has become too beguiled Persuaded by her charms to take her up the aisle. Now he lives in misguided bliss But deep down he knows something is a amiss Invites Strags to come and reminisce In comfy chairs they sit and discuss his analy-sis Philosophical musings over fine cognac and cigars But Xongs so on the fence he has splinters in his arse Puts himself at 5.7 on the Dawkins scale. Not just sittin on the fence, he’s frikkin impaled! His beloved anal Emma tries to lift him off but fails. Ouch! He’s slippin!! He doesn’t like the look of those nails. The colours gone. He’s looking pale. Slips further down. Only adds to his travails. But what’s that distant noise I hear?Horses hooves and a hearty cheer. It’s RAZD and his cheering sidekick Chuck Here to rescue Xong? To change his luck? RAZ - The knight in shining armour Chuck is waving pom pons and wearing batgirl pyjamas Rushing forth to save their fallen comrade Better be quick. Xong’s splintered buttocks are looking increasingly frayed Hold on dear brother cries the mighty ZenI’ll rewrite the scales. I’ll redefine my charts.......Again!! That’ll teach those evil pseudoskeptics. And then we can treat your splinter wounds with anti-sceptic. He charges forth. Keyboard in hand. Chuck waves his pom pons does the splits and lands. Gimme an R. Gimme an A. Gimme a Zed. Gimme a Dee. RAZ is on yet another diagram spree!! So many circles drawn with glee. An inarguable ability. If only they had any effect on his argument's validity. But they don't - Unfortu-nately. Chuck does a twirl and yells (girly voice) "Go RAZ Go" (manly voice) Teach those atheistic motherfuckers what it means to KNOOOOWWW Strags, bluegenes Mod, Panda and all the rest.Stand their ground. Unimpressed. Strags cannot hide his mirth at the ridiculous manner in which Chuck is dressed All of these colourful arguments they have already addressed To these diagramatic tricks they are immune. The gang of four. And the atheist platoon. Panda fires his ant-buffoon harpoon. Chuck falls on his pom pons like a clueless goon Strags takes aim and shoots the Hogwarts hypothesis RAZ says "Stand back I know how to deal with this" He turns and runs away. It follows him but he ducks and sways. His dodging abilities do amaze. Ultimately the question he does rephrase. Setting his charts and scales all ablaze. RAZ says - "I know let's start anew. Then I can draw new charts and diagrams to convince all of you!!" Panda asks if he likes jam or cheese. RAZ replies that he's already told him it's all about tea. Mod raises an eyebrow at this lack of epistemology. Bluegenes head in hand asks Why can't you see? That baseless propositions have no effect on my theo-ry But Xong is in no fit shape To consider the finer points of this intellectual rape That impaling point is starting to gape He is in desperate need of an escape "Here" says Mod "Let me help". Xong takes his hand with a yelp. Let us cure you of you nought point three agnosticism With an education in fallibilism Pragmatism and coherentism too. Slowly Xong changes his view. And with each revelation his frayed buttocks are treated to alleviation of the pain caused by impalation. Eventually he reaches the point of intellectual resuscitation Well on the way to full salvation. The light has dawned and all is well Finally broken away from RAZ's spell Now Xong and I are in HeathrowSharing a beer and discussing his bro Will this dispute ever end? Will it drive Percy round the bend? I don't know and nor do you But Xongsmith will remember those splinters everytime he poos The moral of this story - Is that enforced agnosticism is bad for your health. Just say no. Edited by Straggler, : Spelling
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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Chuckles writes: So tell me Straggler, do you agree? No Chuckles. I do not agree.And for that I make no apology Disagree on the topic of spirituality Here to debate the nature of reality Could just drop it. Could just let it be. But then what is the point of E-v-C? Discussing these topics relentlessly Never been known to lack tenacity If you don't like - Go find a tree. Give it a hug. It won't fight back. Won't treat your misapprehensions to verbal attacks Won't pick you up on your uncomprehending ways Or send you into a vocabularic daze You and your tree can just be friends Or take things further. Who knows where it ends? No disagreements in Chuck's world of let's pretend Although conversation pays few dividends A man and his tree. A match made in heaven. All is bliss for Chuck seventy seven But one day after a tree-cuddle you need a leak Nobody around. Should be OK to sneak. Drop your pants. Give it a tweak. But then the trees roots begin to creak The tree roars "How dare you piss on me" We were destined for human-foliage matrimony Now it will end in acrimony All because you needed to pee With urine on his feet Chuck has to flee Pants around his ankles back to E-v-C A harsh lesson in life's travails But now he's back on RAZ's scales Back again with the agnostic alliance Still bumbling along through their misappliance of science At least with RAZ wrong or right You know he's always up for the fight Convincing those not so bright That Venn diagrams are a sign of intellectual might A few others add passion and the odd insight You however simply prance around in tights RAZ is the leader and you his boy blunder Whether you understand his diagrams even he has to wonder But don't despair - some of us are here to plunder. To show why these arguments should be put under To demonstrate that and send the uncomprehending asunder But. Stop. Is that the rumble of thunder? Like the hammer blows of mighty Thor Here come the rampaging gang of four Modest Mod. Epistemologist supreme. He'll ask how we know reality is not a dream. Panda will poke fun at you. And in doing so put RAZ in quite a stew. Cheese just is not jam. This will always be true. Bluegenes has a theory still unfalsified "Hindu Hypothesis" RAZ has cried "Anal Emma" Xong has tried Meanwhile your brain continues to be fried. Couldn't even keep a tree as a bride. Then of course, last but not least, there's me. The focus of your ire and rhyming spree If I was your target - I'd say you missed. But others will ultimately judge who was dissed Needless to say we could go on To this rap attack we could each respond Until admins call time and sound the gong Either way - It's time to end this particular song With one final question - How could you be so wrong?
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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"The writer who breeds more words than he needs" Makes it a chore for the reader who reads" A lesson many here (including myself at times) could learn.
F&L writes: Very funny on both your parts...I needed a good laugh this morning. Then the aim has been accomplished.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
I like it. It's cool.
And far more worthy of Creativity Corner than the nonsense myself and Chuck are engaging in. But that won't stop me.....
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
OK Chuckles. You’ve had your fun.
Shoulda given up before you even begun. So far I had my gun only set to stun But I’ll unravel this story you have spun Dude how old are you? Like ninety one! You give it large with your gangsta beef. But that’s’ ridiculous when you’re sporting false teeth Good job your rhymes are written rather that verbal With those gums you sound like your suckin a gerbil But this isn’t about your rodent perversions We both know you still sore about Religious Conversions It’s time for you to end your rhyme excursions It’s time for you to stop these laboured exertions I see you’re now displaying homophobic ten-dencies No doubt a sad by-product of your religious depen-dencies I ask you to just stop these please Along with your well known proclivity for miso-gyny Message 1705 You imagine me and bluegenes in the bathI guess that turns you on. It just makes me laugh. You daydreaming about atheists in soapy bubbles Makes you giggle and wriggle like Betty Rubble? I think you protest a bit too much Come on hun just release the clutch Make your move. See you groove. You got something to prove? Come on Chuckles — I dare ya - Join the dance Open your eyes. See the light. End the trance. It’s a breakbeat and you can’t stand the heat Spilt your bedpan. Urine on your feet. You try to dance but it’s an embarrassing sight To contain your bowels you have to fight Murder on the dancefloor. You don’t look too well. Not surprising judging from that ran-cid smell You collapse in a tragic mess. Having a cardiac arrest. Pity you I must confess. If that really was your best. Your points — All have been addressed. FAILED is your mark on this test. Now go and find another quest. Because I have swatted you away like a pest. But where are your friends the agnostic alliance? They look at the floor in embarrassed silence But it’s not over. Things get worse. Oh Shit is your final curse. You get taken out in a Hearse. Geriatric rapper dances to death. Now there’s a first!! Despite these faults I think deep down you’re a decent guyJust deluded about the man in the sky Like so many need to ask the question why Even though reason and logic it does defy All just part of the human condition Not your fault it’s an irrational position Maybe I should learn to live and let live Maybe I should seek to forgive But it’s more fun to give you grief More fun to rhyme our beef And when you leave — Don’t forget your teeth.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Word up homey.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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What's this? An end to our rhyming ructions?
Realised you cannot compete in lyrical constructions Would you like me to provide you with instructions? While I'm at it....Maybe I can guide you through RAZ's pseudo-logical deductions. But let's put an end to these introductions Turn instead to your haiku. And your proclaimed desire to boo Your poem was lame. That barely needs stating. But even more sad is your need to fuck with Panda's rating You went back in time to boo his every post That shit makes you the one who deserves to be jeered the most. In my last rhyme you did a dance of deathThat should've signalled your final breath Chuckleberry shuffle to much to bear Creationist zombie. The stuff of nightmares. But here you are. Yet again. Hero worshipping the one called Zen Lurching around like the living dead Mind so open you've lost your head Brains been splattered. But the lights are on If ever you mattered that time has gone Knock knock. Is anyone there? Tick tock. Just a blank stare. They say the the first sign of madness is talking to yourself. Guess we should be concerned about your mental health. Message 405 But I have to admire your perseverence.It almost makes up for your incoherence Your support for RAZ goes on and on Simply unable to see that he is wrong Oh my gosh! Which scale shall we use? Has MSPaint ever been so abused? If Scientific Knowledge is the thing you want Need more than assumptions and colourful fonts Pseudoskepticism and logic was quite a thread. RAZ declared himself agnostic towards the bogeyman under his bed. Xong is a skeptic. But still on the fence.RAZ has issues with Immaterial "Evidence" And you Chuck. Why so tense? Don't leave us all in sus-pence. Come on Chuckles. Spill the beans. Are you still having homerotic thoughts about me and bluegenes? Am I the subject of your fantasy? I am really flattered by your crush on me. But whhoooaaahh!! Take it easy. Put that away. You're making me quesy. I'm honoured you like me. That much is clear. The problem is you haven't washed in a year. Let's consider Subjective Evidence of GodsYou and I disagreed. Hey - What are the odds? You say "He" answered your prayers and fixed your shoulder. Where there is a grain of sand you see a mystical boulder. This is the same flawed form of evidence. That inspired war mongering presidents.You have a hotline to God. That must be immense. But stop and think. It just makes no sense. Subjective experiences could be fluctuations in the Matrix. But more likely is the scientific deduction that the mind just plays tricks Talking of which.. Here comes the agnostic alliance. They've failed the test for sanity compliance. Right on cue. It's the white coated men. Come to take away the woo meister Zen Load them up. Into the van. Zen and Xong and you, their number one fan RAZ - Crazed eyes full of fear Xong - As usual he's had to many beers Chump77 is dressed as Britney Spears Oh no. Not another repeat. Loss of bladder control. Again - Urine on yer feet. Strait jackets and a padded cell RAZ can't draw. He's not taking it well. "Curiously. Pseudoskeptic. A priori" These words he mutters. Warden Strags sadly shakes his head and closes the shutters. So this story comes to an end.The agnostic alliance gone round the bend. Zig zagged and did a loop the loop All in the name of woo. But I want to get through to you The moral this story does contain. To be so open minded it causes you pain. It's not noble to take that strain. Please please do refrain. From being so open minded as to lose your brain. Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 322 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined:
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There was a member here named G-D-R
Who considers abiogenesis just a step far too far. He says life cannot have come from rocks!! But look what's evolved from my socks!! And that's why from shoe shops I'm barred. Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.
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