Register | Sign In


Understanding through Discussion


EvC Forum active members: 48 (9179 total)
4 online now:
Newest Member: Jorge Parker
Post Volume: Total: 918,248 Year: 5,505/9,624 Month: 530/323 Week: 27/143 Day: 0/17 Hour: 0/0


Thread  Details

Email This Thread
Newer Topic | Older Topic
  
Author Topic:   Humour VI
Straggler
Member (Idle past 182 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 28 of 553 (604439)
02-12-2011 5:18 AM
Reply to: Message 27 by onifre
02-11-2011 9:21 PM


Oni writes:
In fact, there are some creative people here at EvC, maybe a small book (like the Atheist bible, or a book you read in the john) with some original poems, songs, raps like Stragglers, all from atheist.
I am sure that between us we can conjure up something suitable for the toilet.......
Oni writes:
And yes, I'm baked right now, but it's still a good idea. I think?
Hmmmmmmmm

This message is a reply to:
 Message 27 by onifre, posted 02-11-2011 9:21 PM onifre has not replied

Straggler
Member (Idle past 182 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


(1)
Message 36 of 553 (605410)
02-19-2011 7:34 AM
Reply to: Message 27 by onifre
02-11-2011 9:21 PM


Spirituality Masterclass
I wrote the following ditty in response to Message 338. But that thread was all serious and stuff. So I didn't post it. Anyway here it is. The Spirituality Masterclass:
Oni writes:
Sam Harris would be an example of someone who is spiritual, studies eastern philosophy and meditates, yet, has zero belief in anything supernatural. I fall under the same catagory. I'm both spiritual and meditate.
Sit back. Relax. Take a break from reality.
Time for us all to get a little spirituality.
Tranquility and inner peace.
Providing a much needed mental release.
EvC posses all in attendance.
Hoping to experience full on trascendence.
Sam Harris and Oni are gonna teach us some yoga.
Harris butt naked. Oni in a toga.
The whale song is playing. The candles are lit.
Oni about to start class. Harris looks like he's having a fit.
What is that smell? Oni enquires.
It's Harris's pubes. His balls are on fire.
Holy shit!! Dude sat down on a candle.
RAZD pulls the extinguisher handle.
"I'm OK" Harris winces with pain.
Nothing some meditation can't contain.
Bluegenes thinks he needs medical attention.
Harris says "No. I must achieve Nirvanic ascension".
Everyone settles. The class resumes.
It's really hard to ignore the rancid fumes.
"Right" says Oni "We'll try a new technique"
I first came across this one only last week
Left leg like this. Right leg like that.
Now over the head with all the grace and poise of a cat.
"There you see" beams Oni "That wasn't so hard"
Before toppling over like a house of cards.
Harris looks ill. His bollocks are charred.
That poor sucker is gonna have some serious scars
Meanwhile Oni has hit his head and is seeing stars.
Dr Adequate declares "There guys are fucking retards"
Cavediver gets up to make his way out.
As he leaves he is compelled to shout.
"I came here for a spirituality master class"
"Instead we have rancid pubes and a guy who needs a plaster cast".
Now the others are leaving fast.
Keen to leave this spirituality master farce.
Please don't go cries Oni. Oh help! Oh fuck!
I can't untie myself. My legs are stuck.
Oni walks sideways on his hands like a crab.
Strags shakes his head. He thought yoga would be drab.
Percy and Mod try to untie the human knot.
Oni's toga isn't hiding a lot.
Needless to say Nirvana wasn't achieved.
Lucky to escape that place with no-one bereaved.
Had to dislocate Oni's knees to get him out of his fix.
He will never now walk without the aid of sticks.
Harris was eventually castrated and is undergoing HRT.
Such are the dangers of spirituali-ty.
But if you ever want to leave your troubles behind.
You ever need a chance to unwind.
Don't let the hilarity pass. Of attending a Harris and Oni spirituality masterclass.
Just don't let those candles anywhere near your ass.
Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 27 by onifre, posted 02-11-2011 9:21 PM onifre has not replied

Straggler
Member (Idle past 182 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 48 of 553 (606586)
02-26-2011 6:06 PM
Reply to: Message 47 by onifre
02-24-2011 9:25 PM


Re: This is hilarious because I'm juvenile
You are juvenile. And it is hilarious.
But more to the point - No reaction to my rhyme entirely dedicated to you earlier upthread?
Have I managed to offend the Oni-ister?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 47 by onifre, posted 02-24-2011 9:25 PM onifre has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 65 by onifre, posted 03-05-2011 10:02 PM Straggler has replied

Straggler
Member (Idle past 182 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 59 of 553 (607538)
03-04-2011 1:11 PM
Reply to: Message 58 by rueh
03-04-2011 10:38 AM


Re: Save the Earth
Won't you take a few minutes out of your day to help save the Earth by telling someone to go fuck themselves?
Dude - GO FUCK YOURSELF
Hopefully you are now less happy than before and will thus die sooner.
Happy now?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 58 by rueh, posted 03-04-2011 10:38 AM rueh has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 60 by rueh, posted 03-04-2011 2:04 PM Straggler has replied

Straggler
Member (Idle past 182 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 61 of 553 (607552)
03-04-2011 2:15 PM
Reply to: Message 60 by rueh
03-04-2011 2:04 PM


Re: Save the Earth
Good. Fuck you again then.
Happy yet?
(This could go on forever so I will stop here unless you are now suffering happiness of Earth risking proportions)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 60 by rueh, posted 03-04-2011 2:04 PM rueh has seen this message but not replied

Straggler
Member (Idle past 182 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 66 of 553 (607697)
03-06-2011 5:17 AM
Reply to: Message 65 by onifre
03-05-2011 10:02 PM


Re: This is hilarious because I'm juvenile
Oni writes:
Dude, just finished moving in this weekend to NY, just getting back to the forum.
Cooool!! I would love to have the opportunity to live in NY for a while. Fun fun place.
Oni writes:
But man, did Harris have to get castrated? A bit too far,
For the sake of art there is no such thing as "too far". Even if it involves castrating Sam Harris. If the rhyme had demanded it would have been you
Oni writes:
Never dickbag now go fuck yourself. (Just trying to save the planet)
Right on Earth brother. Right on.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 65 by onifre, posted 03-05-2011 10:02 PM onifre has not replied

Newer Topic | Older Topic
Jump to:


Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved

™ Version 4.2
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024