Impersonations

The idea for this thread springs from MrHambre's Message 66 in the Register here! Are you creationist or evolutionist? thread where he gives a most inspired imitation of another member, which I reproduce here in it's entirety: Recognize who it is? This one is so well done that it's easy, but first correct guess wins eternal EvC Forum fame and fortune, and free coffee for your 85 cents.Enter your best efforts at imitating other members and see if they can be recognized.--Percy [Fix garble. --Percy][This message has been edited by Percipient, 09-24-2003]

It is SO Jesus!

Like shooting fish in a barrel of monkeys like Provine told Gould when the goulasch ate my donut and I was forced to prove N does not ossify an archeopteryx to the tenth power while Eldredge wedgied Dawkins carrots!It is clearly Percipient

Imitation is finished. If any of you bothered to read my masterwork you would realize this. I refer you to my published papers. Chaplin, Keaton and Knotts agree with me. You don't understand because you choose not to. I'm leaving, you can all insult yourselves. PS - These are too easy, aren't they. We need to imitate members with fewer obvious mannerisms.

Hi!

I cannot believe that you crazy atheist evilushunists are so blind that you cannot see that the Lord Jesus is everywhere, open your EEEEYYYYEEEESSSSSS, how are you gonna explain this one come judgemenbt day??????? HA HA HAA Tornado? Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh This is a picture of GODDDDDDDDD ,are you crazy atheists still gonna deny it?Need more proof, remember I got catacombs yah know and squillions of eyewitnesses who were really there and saw Jesus die and wroted it down in FOUR DIFFERENT accounts, I got 500 witneseses!!!!!! LOL LOL HA HA HA, You are scared now, you are all gonna burn unless you repent.I got documents, millions of them, all true! they are true because they ARE OLD, ALL ANCIENT TEXTS ARE TRUE LOL HA HAExplain this then Let me see you explain this away, he is real, add these pictures of GOD to the FOUR DIFFERENT accounts , OH and the CATACOMBS HA HA HA you evo's are so gonna get it when Jesus comes back!You know he is all lovingHere is proof that Jesus loves you and HIS LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL, it was found in a CATACOMB, it is true, you cannot expain this away! HA HA HA Just try to deny GOD NOW !!!! !!! HA HA LOL?

There is a clear quantity versus quality issue in this thread. I have noticed Percipient has posted too often. I am seriously considering closing this thread.--edited: oops forgot to switch from Admin mode--[This message has been edited by Mammuthus, 09-24-2003]

i am a new poster but i am able to see that evolution is WRONG and that Jesus is the one that died for your sins not a monkey.haven't you heard about holes in the fossil record??? why wille evos never answer this???? Dinosaur Adventure Land this will be my only post on this forum because i know the truth and dont need your lies. i will pray for your souls... WHILE YOUR IN HELL!!!

Without actually considering each of your points, please
provide a testicle hypothesis, show how it is foalsifiable, and tell us how it explains the findings brought forward in
I.N. Oclue et al. Biol. Bov. Hyp. 34, 2001, pp. 243
better than the accepted theories.
If you cannot do this: You are a fundie zealot
have a nice day

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Imitation is finished. If any of you bothered to read my masterwork you would realize this. I refer you to my published papers. Chaplin, Keaton and Knotts agree with me. You don't understand because you choose not to. I'm leaving, you can all insult yourselves.

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Hey, Percy! I think I accidentally caught sight of you on fifteen other message boards, and outside your house as you were bringing in the groceries!Looks like you're still up to the same old tricks, and not even the Stop and Shop will value your super-savers club card.

I will disprove evolution. I have the BuTtUp which explains All biology. Non-random mutilation, the BuTtUp, pine cones with no genetic variation all prove that evoluton is an atheist conspiracy. I have submitted my evidence to Science but they won't publish it because of evolutionist bias in all journals.Further evidence for Non-random mutilation can be found in figure 2 of this paperZinc finger proteins in peanut oil extracted from Nutter Butter cookies. Genetical Journal of Irrelevant Unreproducible Artifacts vol 4: pp 7-88 (1992)I am sure Dr. Page will just dismiss it.[This message has been edited by Mammuthus, 09-24-2003]

Peter Borger writes:

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I will disprove evolution.

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Oh really?

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I have the BuTtUp which explains All biology. Non-random mutilation, the BuTtUp, pine cones with no genetic variation all prove that evoluton is an atheist conspiracy.

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Oh, I get it. We have no way of understanding anything without your supernatural pixies and Big Magic Guys intervening. Is that realistic? Can I ask you that? Do you "believe" there is no Santa Claus or do you not have a belief in Santa Claus?

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Further evidence for Non-random mutilation can be found in figure 2 of this paper

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Um, by the way, it's actually Figure II. If I can read the script to 'Sweeney Todd' I can read your chicken scratch.

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Zinc finger proteins in peanut oil extracted from Nutter Butter cookies.

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Irrelevant. And a sentence usually requires a verb. Do you think I got to be second understudy for Maximus in 'Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum' by not knowing a predicate clause?

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I am sure Dr. Page will just dismiss it.

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Irrelevant. You're the one making the claim. Therefore, it is your burden to show it.WWJD? JWRTFSTM!
(What Would Jesus Do? Jesus Would Read the Friggin' Script to 'Mame'!)

This all seems maladight and illconsived if we do not consider what Gilchild established as the transient vibration principle. If one were to examine the case, the case being examined, with no reservations, or digressions into possitron waveshifts, and noclie undulation. Morphologicaly speaking who would deny the elctron flux in solid particles, but I jest! I am further conducting experiments with coild coper and sulfer alkelides to synthesize gold in my back yard. Tho relevation of the ad nosium, yet reserving Holsteins hypothesis, I have developed nothing of the same, should you understand, not knowing, it's very good, would you like some. But this is all trivial.Q.E.D.

Irrelevant. You're the one making the claim. Therefore, it is your burden to show it. You're just focusing on individual portions of his post. You have to read the totality of the post. Once the post is taken as a whole, first word to last, it will be impossible to feel that Peter's claims are irrelevant.

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i am a new poster

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I disagree with this statement. According to the journal Nature, new in geological terms would be within 20mya; however, since we are working within the framework of a human life here, new should be scaled up appropriately, and so this would imply that you were born within the past few hours. I contest this claim.

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but

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Having a conjunction at word six is the type of quality post that we expect from creationists here. It isn't surprising, seing as few of you ever graduated high school, and everything you say is a misquote.

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i am able to see

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I found this exact phrase at 13,800 websites, indicating that you simply copied and pasted from such sources as "I am Not Able to See any Logs From My Action Classes" and "Directors Statement". You should follow the rules or be banned from this forum.

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that evolution

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Discussions about evolution belong in the evolution forum, and not the Coffee House. Your flagrant violation of guidelines will lead to people ceasing to reply to your topics.

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is

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According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, 'is' is defined as "to equal in meaning: have the same connotation, as SYMBOLIZE". Why do you continually try and manipulate language to suit your fundamentalist purposes?

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WRONG and that Jesus is the one that died for your sins

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To quote from Moby Dick, "We borrowed a wheelbarrow, and embarking our things, including my own poor carpet-bag, and Queequeg's canvas sack and hammock, away we went down to "the Moss," the little Nantucket packet schooner moored at the wharf. As we were going along the people stared; not at Queequeg so much - for they were used to seeing cannibals like him in their streets, - but at seeing him and me upon such confidential terms. But we heeded them not, going along wheeling the barrow by turns, and Queequeg now and then stopping to adjust the sheath on his harpoon barbs". If God was love, why would he have allowed the creation of such a book in which Queequeg had to adjust the sheath on his harpoon barbs?

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not a monkey

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"The Origin of Species" is just a book, and I don't see why you keep harping on it. Charles Darwin simply proposed the theory (and, should I mention, that scientific theories are held to the same level of proof that gravity is); he was not a genius. He didn't recant on his death bed.13You are clearly not reading my posts, so I'm not going to respond to you any more.------------------
"Illuminant light,
illuminate me."[This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003][This message has been edited by Rei, 09-24-2003]