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Author Topic:   Let's Analyze Me
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 16 of 28 (222407)
07-07-2005 5:40 PM
Reply to: Message 14 by robinrohan
07-06-2005 11:51 PM


Re: question
Robin, I am not quite sure what you mean. If you are saying I shouldn't view women as sexual objects, no worries--I do not. But, if you are saying that I should think of, and treat, men and women in the same way, no way--I can't do it. That men and women are different, beyond the obvious physical differences, should be a truism. As co-workers, I prefer women. As confidants, women win out again. There is always a spark between myself and a female that makes any relationship with them, from casual acquaintances onward, much more interesting than with male friends.
I wonder--does anyone see this as offensive?
Cheers.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 14 by robinrohan, posted 07-06-2005 11:51 PM robinrohan has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 18 by nator, posted 07-07-2005 8:06 PM Michael has replied
 Message 20 by robinrohan, posted 07-07-2005 11:56 PM Michael has replied

  
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 17 of 28 (222414)
07-07-2005 6:16 PM
Reply to: Message 15 by nator
07-07-2005 5:05 PM


Re: question
Well, I don't know how "women" would react.
I can speak for myself only.
But as I don't know you, I don't know if I would find it cute or not, sorry.
I understand.
Do you ever see her face to face?
We are both involved in a loose association of people that meets once a week, though neither of us are there every week.
It really was an answer to the more general question that I had half hoped for. As for the other half--well, if I can provide some entertainment through one of my misfortunes, then it isn't all bad. However, I'm unsure as to whether I succeeded in that regard either.
Cheers.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 15 by nator, posted 07-07-2005 5:05 PM nator has not replied

  
nator
Member (Idle past 2170 days)
Posts: 12961
From: Ann Arbor
Joined: 12-09-2001


Message 18 of 28 (222448)
07-07-2005 8:06 PM
Reply to: Message 16 by Michael
07-07-2005 5:40 PM


Re: question
I do not find any of your statements offensive, for what it's worth.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 16 by Michael, posted 07-07-2005 5:40 PM Michael has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 21 by Michael, posted 07-08-2005 5:23 AM nator has not replied

  
crashfrog
Member (Idle past 1467 days)
Posts: 19762
From: Silver Spring, MD
Joined: 03-20-2003


Message 19 of 28 (222489)
07-07-2005 11:00 PM
Reply to: Message 13 by Michael
07-06-2005 7:54 PM


Re: question
I'm not sure how old you are, or what kind of women you're into.
I know that, for myself, I'm attracted to women who are adults - in other words, they're pretty well tired of the bullshit, and they're about ready for a man to come out straight with them and say "hey, you seem cool, I'd like to take you out to a movie or a science-fiction convention sometime, or even just stay in and watch Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country." (Hey, it worked on my wife.)
I guess what I'm saying is, only you know the answer to your question. And if you don't know - that is, you don't know what she likes in a guy - then you need to get to know her better. Hopefully, your charmingly-inept VM's actually invited her to something, or else there wasn't much point.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 13 by Michael, posted 07-06-2005 7:54 PM Michael has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 23 by Michael, posted 07-17-2005 11:54 AM crashfrog has not replied

  
robinrohan
Inactive Member


Message 20 of 28 (222498)
07-07-2005 11:56 PM
Reply to: Message 16 by Michael
07-07-2005 5:40 PM


Re: question
if you are saying that I should think of, and treat, men and women in the same way, no way--I can't do it.
Not in your heart, no, but you can outwardly. And if you do, they will like that. The point is not to draw attention to the sexual aspect. And if you do that, they will appreciate it.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 16 by Michael, posted 07-07-2005 5:40 PM Michael has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 22 by Michael, posted 07-17-2005 11:50 AM robinrohan has not replied

  
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 21 of 28 (222520)
07-08-2005 5:23 AM
Reply to: Message 18 by nator
07-07-2005 8:06 PM


Re: question
Schraf, it is worth quite a lot. Thanks.
Crash, Robin: I will get back to you guys in a couple of days--not enough time right now.
Also, I need to clarify one statement that I made in message 16 when I get back.
Take care.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 18 by nator, posted 07-07-2005 8:06 PM nator has not replied

  
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 22 of 28 (224205)
07-17-2005 11:50 AM
Reply to: Message 20 by robinrohan
07-07-2005 11:56 PM


Robin, I had planned to reply long before now. Work gets in the way of leisure sometimes.
But first, I wrote in message 16:
There is always a spark between myself and a female that makes any relationship with them, from casual acquaintances onward, much more interesting than with male friends.
Boy, it sounds like I am pretty full of myself here. Actually, I don't know for sure that my female acquaintances feel the same spark that I do when I interact with them, though I suspect in many cases that they do. The spark I feel is within myself--but that is enough. As for "always," let's say "nearly always."
Okay, now on to your point:
Not in your heart, no, but you can outwardly. And if you do, they will like that. The point is not to draw attention to the sexual aspect. And if you do that, they will appreciate it.
In my experience, women like attention. The added attention that I give to women is not overtly sexual. It is not intended to produce an outcome, e.g. sex. I give them particular attention just for the sake of doing so, because I enjoy it and they (I have reason to believe) enjoy it as well. Simply put: I like women. I enjoy the company of my male friends as well, but it is just not the same as with females.
However, in some way your point is taken. If, when I call a woman with whom I have a particular interest, I can keep it as casual as if I were calling a male friend to go do something, I would be much better off. That is difficult to do at times. Oh well, such is (my) life.
Cheers.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 20 by robinrohan, posted 07-07-2005 11:56 PM robinrohan has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 27 by mick, posted 07-17-2005 6:49 PM Michael has replied

  
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 23 of 28 (224206)
07-17-2005 11:54 AM
Reply to: Message 19 by crashfrog
07-07-2005 11:00 PM


Re: question
LOL. Thanks Crash, I can't argue with any of that. Much appreciated.
Cheers.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 19 by crashfrog, posted 07-07-2005 11:00 PM crashfrog has not replied

  
Zawi
Member (Idle past 3630 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 24 of 28 (224251)
07-17-2005 4:20 PM
Reply to: Message 13 by Michael
07-06-2005 7:54 PM


Re: question
I would find it cute, especially if I knew about the great masterplan behind it.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 13 by Michael, posted 07-06-2005 7:54 PM Michael has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 25 by Michael, posted 07-17-2005 5:49 PM Zawi has not replied

  
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 25 of 28 (224272)
07-17-2005 5:49 PM
Reply to: Message 24 by Zawi
07-17-2005 4:20 PM


Re: question
.
Edited by Michael, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 24 by Zawi, posted 07-17-2005 4:20 PM Zawi has not replied

  
mick
Member (Idle past 4986 days)
Posts: 913
Joined: 02-17-2005


Message 26 of 28 (224294)
07-17-2005 6:45 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by Mission for Truth
07-02-2005 7:28 PM


I often used to feel similar to what you've described. There's no straightforward answer but here's what helped me.
1. don't hang around in large groups. Personally, it makes me feel uncomfortable, as I don't like to keep butting in to an ongoing conversation. The simple rule to living a happy life is - if it makes you feel uncomfortable, don't do it. If I go out socially I like to talk to one or two people at once, not a big crowd. There's nothing wrong with that.
2. make friends with women. don't worry about fighting people with pitchforks - it's not a normal requirement in the society in which we live. more important than impressing women with physical prowess is making friends with women - and not trying to fuck them all the time.
3. keep being thoughtful and playful.
I'm serious when I say this. After many years of feeling socially uncomfortable, this is advice I can recommend personally. As a consequence of these guidelines, I've never slept with a person who I didn't know very well. Some people might think this is not very adventurous, or not very macho, but it works for me. We're not counting notches on bedposts, after all.
Mick

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by Mission for Truth, posted 07-02-2005 7:28 PM Mission for Truth has not replied

  
mick
Member (Idle past 4986 days)
Posts: 913
Joined: 02-17-2005


Message 27 of 28 (224295)
07-17-2005 6:49 PM
Reply to: Message 22 by Michael
07-17-2005 11:50 AM


short attention sp writes:
I like women. I enjoy the company of my male friends as well, but it is just not the same as with females.
You sound terribly unhealthy. Take cold showers. Seek therapy.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 22 by Michael, posted 07-17-2005 11:50 AM Michael has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 28 by Michael, posted 07-17-2005 7:56 PM mick has not replied

  
Michael
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 199
From: USA
Joined: 05-14-2005


Message 28 of 28 (224301)
07-17-2005 7:56 PM
Reply to: Message 27 by mick
07-17-2005 6:49 PM


... and have a beer?
Yep, you're right--it's a tough life, man. But I'll find some way to bear up.
Cheers Mick.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 27 by mick, posted 07-17-2005 6:49 PM mick has not replied

  
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