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Author Topic:   Humor
Brad McFall
Member (Idle past 5033 days)
Posts: 3428
From: Ithaca,NY, USA
Joined: 12-20-2001


Message 76 of 79 (97896)
04-05-2004 1:56 PM
Reply to: Message 75 by 1.61803
04-02-2004 3:17 PM


I thought it was just me. All is well in the neighboorhood. Peace out. The weather channel also corrected its mistake of putting the thumb"" in Rochester rather than Albany. Oh well- thanks frog too.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 75 by 1.61803, posted 04-02-2004 3:17 PM 1.61803 has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 77 by fnord, posted 04-27-2004 5:52 PM Brad McFall has not replied

  
fnord
Inactive Member


Message 77 of 79 (103148)
04-27-2004 5:52 PM
Reply to: Message 76 by Brad McFall
04-05-2004 1:56 PM


A womaniser dies and goes to hell for his sins. When he arrives, he is greeted by the devil, who tells him he has the choice of three rooms for his eternal stay. Asking if he can view them before he decides, the man is led into the first room. He opens the door to discover a million people standing on their heads on a concrete floor.
"I don't like the look of that" says the man. "Let me see the next room." So Satan leads him further. When they reach the second room, the man opens the door to reveal a million people, all of whom are standing on their heads on a wooden floor.
"No, that's not for me either," says the philanderer, shaking his head.
Eventually they reach the final room, and the man peeks round the door to find a million people standing knee-deep in shit, smoking and drinking coffee. Despite the atrocious smell, he decides this is the best option of the three and tells the devil of his decision.
"You sure?" asks the devil. "You can't change your mind."
"I'm absolutely positive," he says.
The devil leaves him there, but returns just five minutes later, whereupon he claps his hands and orders, "Okay you lot, coffee break is over. Get back on your heads!"

This message is a reply to:
 Message 76 by Brad McFall, posted 04-05-2004 1:56 PM Brad McFall has not replied

  
SkepticScand
Inactive Member


Message 78 of 79 (103155)
04-27-2004 6:24 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by Dan Carroll
05-12-2003 5:10 PM


The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington: The chemistry mid term. The answer was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
  1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
  2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by one Ms. Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by Dan Carroll, posted 05-12-2003 5:10 PM Dan Carroll has not replied

  
Petra
Inactive Member


Message 79 of 79 (109912)
05-22-2004 6:24 PM


Why did God create Adam first?
When was Adam created when God created man?
Just before eve.
Why did God create Adam before Eve when he created man?
Cause he didn't want any 'advise' on how to do it.
(Eve: no God, you're doing it all wrong! LOL!!)

  
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