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Author Topic:   Dating services and foreign women
foreveryoung
Member (Idle past 667 days)
Posts: 921
Joined: 12-26-2011


Message 1 of 174 (685743)
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


As everyone has seen with obvious displeasure, I am not the most agreeable person to deal with, at least not in online debates. Although I do not behave as such in public, there are other qualities about me that prevent me from being seen as mister congeniality.
Part of my personal angst is that I have zero luck in attracting good looking women to date. I can get dates, but they are usually unattractive and/or overweight. I guess you could criticize me for being shallow, but those are my standards. Good looking women usually scowl at me when they even get the slightest hint that I may entertain the possibility of asking them out. For this reason, I have become disallusioned with american women for dating purposes. I have placed by picture and profile on a foreign dating site and as of now, have over 200 hundred responses from beautiful women who appear to be desperate. I don't believe they are desperate because of their looks; they are desperate because of the situation they find themselves in and are eager to have a foreign man rescue them from that and take them to a place where they can have a better life.
I feel like a huge loser for even considering this possibility, but I am at my wits end. Has anyone ever had experience with these sites and are they a scam as I suspect they are?

Replies to this message:
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 Message 6 by nwr, posted 12-26-2012 9:31 PM foreveryoung has replied
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 Message 12 by New Cat's Eye, posted 12-27-2012 11:46 AM foreveryoung has seen this message but not replied
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Message 2 of 174 (685759)
12-26-2012 3:45 PM


Thread Moved from Proposed New Topics Forum
Thread moved here from the Proposed New Topics forum.

  
NoNukes
Inactive Member


(1)
Message 3 of 174 (685760)
12-26-2012 5:42 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


they are desperate because of the situation they find themselves in and are eager to have a foreign man rescue them from that and take them to a place where they can have a better life.
I have no familiarity with these things, but I've seen the ads, and I've always assumed that the women would not be as advertised. But even if they were, the potential for being taken advantage of seems quite high.
ABE removed anecdote. Don't really want family to see it.
Edited by NoNukes, : No reason given.
Edited by NoNukes, : No reason given.

Under a government which imprisons any unjustly, the true place for a just man is also in prison. Thoreau: Civil Disobedience (1846)
The apathy of the people is enough to make every statue leap from its pedestal and hasten the resurrection of the dead. William Lloyd Garrison.
If there is no struggle, there is no progress. Those who profess to favor freedom, and deprecate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground, they want rain without thunder and lightning. Frederick Douglass

This message is a reply to:
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1490 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


(1)
Message 4 of 174 (685762)
12-26-2012 5:59 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


Hi foreveryoung,
... there are other qualities about me that prevent me from being seen as mister congeniality.
It is my personal opinion that human intelligence evolved to attract mates by being creative, and that this is a fisherian runaway feedback system (see Sexual Selection, Stasis, Runaway Selection, Dimorphism, & Human Evolution).
This explains why dancers, singers, actors, etcetera, are generally considered attractive in spite of looks and rather than intelligent good looking people.
A sense of humor goes a long way. You could also take dancing lessons -- whether you can dance or not.
I feel like a huge loser for even considering this possibility, but I am at my wits end. Has anyone ever had experience with these sites and are they a scam as I suspect they are?
Like NoNukes (Message 3) I have anecdotal evidence of a woman that married (second marriage) a foreigner and ended up in an verbally abusive marriage (only happens in private so her kids don't see it).
But I also know of some folks that are happily married but from different countries.
Enjoy

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
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to share.


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This message is a reply to:
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foreveryoung
Member (Idle past 667 days)
Posts: 921
Joined: 12-26-2011


(2)
Message 5 of 174 (685766)
12-26-2012 6:10 PM


Thanks guys. I have been getting advice from women friends in real life. This is the first advice I have gotten from guys. It gives a totally different perspective. Someone who did not post publicly on this thread gave me really good advice in a PM and I will be messaging him regarding that soon. I am also going to read RAZD's evolution based thread and see if it gives me any insights.

  
nwr
Member
Posts: 6421
From: Geneva, Illinois
Joined: 08-08-2005
Member Rating: 4.1


Message 6 of 174 (685782)
12-26-2012 9:31 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


I am not the most agreeable person to deal with, at least not in online debates.
Many people have problems setting the right tone in online debates. I guess it is because the feedback is delayed.
I have placed by picture and profile on a foreign dating site and as of now, have over 200 hundred responses from beautiful women who appear to be desperate.
What's the bet that 199 of those are scams?

Fundamentalism - the anti-American, anti-Christian branch of American Christianity

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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 Message 13 by foreveryoung, posted 12-27-2012 2:26 PM nwr has replied

  
Coyote
Member (Idle past 2191 days)
Posts: 6117
Joined: 01-12-2008


(2)
Message 7 of 174 (685788)
12-26-2012 10:38 PM
Reply to: Message 6 by nwr
12-26-2012 9:31 PM


I suspect that most of those 200 women employed a service, for which they paid a hefty sum, to advertize here.
It would probably be cheaper in the long run for you to go sit on a beach along the Mediterranean and work on a tan for a few months.
And probably more productive.
And certainly more fun!

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Dr Adequate
Member (Idle past 369 days)
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(1)
Message 8 of 174 (685789)
12-26-2012 10:41 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


I don't believe they are desperate because of their looks; they are desperate because of the situation they find themselves in and are eager to have a foreign man rescue them from that and take them to a place where they can have a better life.
Question: you're a student, aren't you? Unless you have a private income you haven't mentioned, it's not clear that you can provide the good life they'd be looking for.
Part of my personal angst is that I have zero luck in attracting good looking women to date. I can get dates, but they are usually unattractive and/or overweight. I guess you could criticize me for being shallow, but those are my standards.
Well if conservatives have taught us anything, it's that one's sexual preferences are entirely optional. All you have to do is choose to be turned on by unattractive and/or overweight women. Problem solved.

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Tangle
Member
Posts: 9532
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 4.6


(2)
Message 9 of 174 (685795)
12-27-2012 4:56 AM


Women aren't as obsessed with looks they way us guys are. Long term, they go for nice guys - funny, kind, thoughtful, listening types generally do just as well as those with the looks of a Greek God.
From your posts I suspect you frighten a lot of women with your intensity, if you relax a little, make friends, forget your obsessions and just be normal for a while, you'll probably do better.

Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android

  
1.61803
Member (Idle past 1589 days)
Posts: 2928
From: Lone Star State USA
Joined: 02-19-2004


(3)
Message 10 of 174 (685800)
12-27-2012 9:23 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


My 2 cents.
I feel like a huge loser for even considering this possibility, but I am at my wits end. Has anyone ever had experience with these sites and are they a scam as I suspect they are?
1. Don't feel like a loser. Lots of people do online dating.
2. The old saying holds true: "If it seems to good to be true it probably is."
3. If you want to attract a gal, be charming, considerate, smile more. You'd be surprised what a smile can do. Open your eyes when your out and about and again, smile more. It makes you more approachable and gives you more confidence. The ladies can sense desparation and bullshit for miles.
4. Say hello and strike up a conversation and get the contact info. You will miss 100 percent of the chances you dont take. And stay local, nothing is worse than meeting that right gal and not being able to see her regularly.
Happy hunting.

"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs

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onifre
Member (Idle past 3036 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(2)
Message 11 of 174 (685807)
12-27-2012 11:24 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


Part of my personal angst is that I have zero luck in attracting good looking women to date.
Maybe you should try men?
- Oni

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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member


(1)
Message 12 of 174 (685811)
12-27-2012 11:46 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by foreveryoung
12-26-2012 1:22 PM


I have placed by picture and profile on a foreign dating site and as of now, have over 200 hundred responses from beautiful women who appear to be desperate.
Sounds fake to me.
I'm reminded of this particular First Day on the Internet Kid:

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foreveryoung
Member (Idle past 667 days)
Posts: 921
Joined: 12-26-2011


Message 13 of 174 (685828)
12-27-2012 2:26 PM
Reply to: Message 6 by nwr
12-26-2012 9:31 PM


nwr writes:
What's the bet that 199 of those are scams?
I am willing to bet that there is more than meets the eye to all of them. I wish I know of a way to talk to them in such a way as to rat them out so to speak. I want to catch them in the act of their deception.

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Replies to this message:
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nwr
Member
Posts: 6421
From: Geneva, Illinois
Joined: 08-08-2005
Member Rating: 4.1


Message 14 of 174 (685829)
12-27-2012 2:35 PM
Reply to: Message 13 by foreveryoung
12-27-2012 2:26 PM


catch them in the act of their deception
I want to catch them in the act of their deception.
That's probably not worth the effort.
The chances are that:
  • they are using fake names;
  • they are connecting to the net through hacked computers, to hide their origin.
Even with evidence of deception, you could probably never tie that evidence to a specific person.
The dating site itself is possibly being run from a botnet of hacked computers.

Fundamentalism - the anti-American, anti-Christian branch of American Christianity

This message is a reply to:
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Rahvin
Member
Posts: 4046
Joined: 07-01-2005
Member Rating: 4.1


(1)
Message 15 of 174 (685830)
12-27-2012 2:42 PM
Reply to: Message 14 by nwr
12-27-2012 2:35 PM


Re: catch them in the act of their deception
That's probably not worth the effort.
The chances are that:
they are using fake names;
they are connecting to the net through hacked computers, to hide their origin.
Even with evidence of deception, you could probably never tie that evidence to a specific person.
The dating site itself is possibly being run from a botnet of hacked computers.
That's a bit extreme. While some of the "mail order bride" sites are likely to be as you say, most of the fake profiles I've seen from years of online dating sites are simply created by webcam models. Most of them are painfully obvious, and so easy to avoid. And, of course, none of it is illegal, and so there's no effort taken to obfuscate their origins beyond what your more standard stripper would do.

The human understanding when it has once adopted an opinion (either as being the received opinion or as being agreeable to itself) draws all things else to support and agree with it.
- Francis Bacon
"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." - John Rogers
A world that can be explained even with bad reasons is a familiar world. But, on the other hand, in a universe suddenly divested of illusions and lights, man feels an alien, a stranger. His exile is without remedy since he is deprived of the memory of a lost home or the hope of a promised land. This divorce between man and his life, the actor and his setting, is properly the feeling of absurdity. — Albert Camus
"...the pious hope that by combining numerous little turds of
variously tainted data, one can obtain a valuable result; but in fact, the
outcome is merely a larger than average pile of shit." Barash, David 1995.

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