The EvC Rock Band

I'd like to continue the conversation started hereabouts . I want to make it clear that I'm not looking to open up old wounds. I've already forgiven Dan and Rei for moving me from drums to glockenspiel, and I think Syamsu is a far superior drummer anyway. He's completely deaf, it's true, and often keeps playing long after the rest of the band has stopped, but his beat is so damn insistent I can't fault his drive.I still say the decision to change the name of the band from "The Babylon Lottery" to "Heritability of Zero" wasn't completely Rei's idea. But, coming as it did so soon before our crucial headline gig at Bob's Country Bunker, it did confuse some of our fans (who are legion) and didn't boost attendance any. Our manager Brad tried his best with the usual advance job maneuvers: he tried to call Maximum Rock and Roll, but ended up talking to the subscription line at Maxim instead. Dan got a lot of mileage from his longtime pledge to kill me onstage, but it's starting to sound like a ploy. The failure of the opening act "ID Testable Hypothesis" to show up was a bad sign, and our performance was hampered by Rei's constant breaks to go online and post replies.If anyone would like to audition for the band or suggest new names, feel free. If you want a refund from your purchase of our "Live at the Library of Babel" CD, contact Matador. I can't be held responsible for that.------------------
I would not let the chickens cross the antidote road because I was already hospitlized for trying to say this!-Brad McFall

Band name?Katie Couric's Colonoscopy------------------
Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

How about Fred Williams and the Fantasyland Fallacious Five?
Sy on drums (and to whine backup vocals in the background)
mike the wiz on air guitar (with help from consumption of an expired can of baked beans...though I doubt he would believe the air comes from there..god made it!)
buzsaw as a Marylin Manson clone given his recent posts I sort of picture him looking like Manson..with more piercings perhaps).
defenderofthefaith on bass (since you cannot go much lower than his arguments)
Wise...just standing there grinning with a stack of pictures in his hand...won't tell you what he is doing with the other hand.
and Fred blowing hot air through a trumpetBut you would have to be watch for schedule and venue changes, Fred might announce the concert and then not show up until months later.[This message has been edited by Mammuthus, 10-06-2003]

Rrhain writes:

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Band name?
Katie Couric's Colonoscopy

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That would be funnier if it didn't come from someone who led a demonstration outside our performance at Big Daddy's Bar and Grill in San Diego. It was easy to place the voice responsible for those shrill barks of "irrelevant!" crackling through that bullhorn on that hot Wednesday evening as we parked our van in front of the appliance store next to Big Daddy's. I'll have you know your charges of "racist and sexist insensitivity" led to the removal of Black Magic Woman from our set list. And that was the only number that featured anything resembling an extended solo for me on glockenspiel. Thanks again, you meddling PC busybody. Isn't there some groping gubernatorial candidate out your way who better deserves your wrath?------------------
I would not let the chickens cross the antidote road because I was already hospitlized for trying to say this!-Brad McFall[This message has been edited by MrHambre, 10-06-2003]

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Wise...just standing there grinning with a stack of pictures in his hand...won't tell you what he is doing with the other hand.

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I love it... he's like the lone Mighty Mighty Bosstone, dancing away on stage for no discernable reason, without playing an instrument or providing vocals.

I always wondered what purpose that Bosstone was supposed to serve, since even hardcore Bosstone fans agree his live performances lacked the spark of his studio moves.Fred's involvement in "Heritability of Zero" predates mine, so maybe Dan or Rei could offer further comment. His inability to play his instrument is usually cited as the reason behind his dismissal, though it hardly excuses Dan's attempt to dump Fred off the Mackinac Bridge in a burlap sack. I remember reading a band interview in Flipside wherein Fred was asked to defend his policy of never actually plugging his bass into a live amp. He called the accusation a 'just-so story' despite photographic evidence.------------------
I would not let the chickens cross the antidote road because I was already hospitlized for trying to say this!-Brad McFall

Fred had a problem with using an amp; he was insistant that he thought amps didn't really make the sound louder, and despite our insistance that we've used them before and they work just fine, he informed us that he wouldn't play in a band with anyone who thought they did work. He seems happy over at Fantasyland's Fallacious Five, though. I hear they've traveled around the world to rent out the Tashkent Amphitheater, so that they can play a concert that only they are invited to listen to.I covered for Dan when Fred pressed charges for the bridge incident. I told them that he was with me at the time; Fred had lost my hatchet when herring fishing, it had gotten buried in some mud, and Dan was helping me dig it up.------------------
"Illuminant light,
illuminate me."

MrH?Sorry about your penis, dude....------------------
Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

Band name: 1. They Might Be Strawmen
2. Michael Behe Project
3. Brad McFall and the Binomial 5 (jazz synthesis)
4. Darwin's Rock BoxJust my two cents

Rrhain,Try to be a little more considerate, okay? If you like baby chickens, don't go around calling them chicks. And cats don't like being called pussies, either. Don't you know the words you say can hurt others?------------------
I would not let the chickens cross the antidote road because I was already hospitlized for trying to say this!-Brad McFall

Katie's Ma and a person I call "Aunt Nancy" (no blood relation) from Flemington NJ are FRIENDS; that is more than I can say for the first family of EvC C# timbres. Take Two in ITHACA is not six, let alone a FIVE.

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Take Two in ITHACA is not six, let alone a FIVE

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But the inability of numbers to add up properly in Ithaca is only a result of the "radioactive urine in the Taughannock falls" incident...and I was at home shaving my pet kinkajou and am not responsible!

Yes, and when Fred bails out of a gig to watch Caddyshack re-runs the band that usually subs for him is Warren's Irreducibly Complex Groovy Tunes. It consists of a Warren, a banjo, and a slightly annoyed chihuahua named Puddles who has the ability to bark the lyrics to 50 Cents "In da Club". If any component of the band is not present they obviously cannot play and thus a teleological explanation for the band must be considered.

I've wondered what Warren was up to since HoZ opened up for his Steve Miller cover band last year in Hamtramck, MI. I begged Dan (our in-house explosives expert) to close the curtain with a few well-aimed M-80's, but he was too busy 'unwinding' at the bar (drinking Maker's Mark straight from the bottle) and declared the plan a waste of good quartersticks. In retrospect I suppose he was right. Warren's bands usually do four sets a day for a couple of weeks, then don't tour again for six months.Fred's unfortunate affection for that 'Caddyshack' movie was also mentioned as a source of friction in the band. Saying anything in that slurred Bill Murray voice is still a sure way to get Rei to leave the room. Fueling up (literally, not with distilled liquor) in a rainstorm in Gainsville once, I remarked, "I don't think the real heavy stuff is going to come down for another couple of hours." Dan stabbed me with the fuel nozzle and the band drove off without me. I didn't catch up with them again until Atlanta and tempers had cooled.------------------
I would not let the chickens cross the antidote road because I was already hospitlized for trying to say this!-Brad McFall[This message has been edited by MrHambre, 10-07-2003]

It is perhaps fortunate that Dan did not throw explosives at the concert. The hot air generated by Fred combined with incendiary devices could have lead to mass confusion. Fred would have been left even more disoriented than normal staggering and mumbling as he pondered whether they really HAD switched Darren's in "I dream of Genie" or if he was just imagining it all. I dare say between that and trying to figure out if Ginger and Amber Lynn are different people, Fred would have been overwhelmed.