Hi, Jazzlover.
I've told my story enough times that people may be getting tired of it, but I don't mind telling it again.
I used to be a conservative fundamentalist Baptist. I suppose that my doubts were growing for a while; as I mentioned, I was quite disturbed when I read the Gospels and realized that Jesus' social message was quite at odds with the conservative politics that I believed in at the time. I came up with some rationalization for it. I was also a bit nervous when I realized that the account of the ressurrection in the four Gospels were inconsistent.
But the final straw was the theory of evolution (which is why I continue to have such a strong interest in it). I came to the conclusion that the Theory of Evolution explained the world much better than a literal reading of Genesis. I simply could not continue to believe in the creation story in Genesis as literal history.
Unfortunately (or fortunately?), I was so steeped in the fundamentalist dogma that the Bible had to be 100% literally true, or none of it was true, that my entire faith was shattered.
And this was not a choice on my part. I really fought losing my faith. I tried to continue to beleive, tried to convince myself that I still believe, prayed that God would strengthen my faith, and so forth. But in the end I had to be honest with myself, and the others around me, that I just didn't believe in God any more.
If I had belonged to a more liberal Christianity, it is possible that I would have remained a Christian. Or, even if I would still have became an atheist, it would have been a slower, less traumatic transformation, and the Bible would still be on my night stand by my bed instead of the
Tao Te Ching.