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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(2)
Message 1273 of 1442 (884286)
02-06-2021 11:21 AM
Reply to: Message 1272 by jar
02-05-2021 3:09 PM


Re: computers
sometimes I think that now that we all have smartphones we need to go back to school to catch up with them.
27 Funny But Thought-Provoking Images Of How Smartphones Have Taken Over Our Lives
Edited by Phat, : No reason given.

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.- Dr.John Lennox
The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.
- Criss Jami, Killo
The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him. Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1272 by jar, posted 02-05-2021 3:09 PM jar has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1275 by dwise1, posted 02-06-2021 5:44 PM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1287 of 1442 (886294)
05-14-2021 2:28 AM
Reply to: Message 1286 by AZPaul3
05-13-2021 6:16 AM


Re: Conservatives
that guy is funny and his video presentations are worthy of YouTube Broadway

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1286 by AZPaul3, posted 05-13-2021 6:16 AM AZPaul3 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1288 by AZPaul3, posted 05-20-2021 6:10 AM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1294 of 1442 (887030)
07-03-2021 4:21 AM
Reply to: Message 1293 by Tangle
07-01-2021 9:48 AM


Bit Harsh
Just a wee bit. We build prisons for a reason.
Message 1261
Edited by Phat, : No reason given.

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1293 by Tangle, posted 07-01-2021 9:48 AM Tangle has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1295 by Tangle, posted 07-03-2021 4:55 AM Phat has replied
 Message 1303 by Phat, posted 07-07-2021 5:09 AM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(1)
Message 1296 of 1442 (887032)
07-03-2021 7:39 PM
Reply to: Message 1295 by Tangle
07-03-2021 4:55 AM


Re: Bit Harsh
And if that mass-murdering, torturing, genocidal, ego-driven narcissistic god of yours turned up, that's where I'd stick him.
So says the pissant-sized human on a dust speck suspended in a moonbeam amidst a vast universe among many more unknowns. If a Creator---as a monotheistic concept exists, She most certainly is unlike any genocidal human described god that humans love to stand in line to chastize.
====================================
two hardcore trump supporters die and ascend to heaven.
God meets them at the pearly gates and asks if they have any questions.
One of them says, yes, what were the real results of the 2020 election and who was behind the fraud?
God says, "my son, there was no fraud. Biden won the electoral college fair and square, 306 to 232 .
After a few seconds of stunned silence, the one guy turns to the other and whispers, This goes higher up than we thought!
Edited by Phat, : No reason given.

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1295 by Tangle, posted 07-03-2021 4:55 AM Tangle has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1297 by Tangle, posted 07-04-2021 3:20 AM Phat has replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1298 of 1442 (887056)
07-06-2021 5:33 AM
Reply to: Message 1297 by Tangle
07-04-2021 3:20 AM


Re: Bit Harsh
We almost agreed briefly...until you said this:
tangle writes:
If a god does exist it's not the monster humans called Christians have described.
Many Christians see God through Jesus.
We believe in one God,
the Father almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all things visible and invisible.
And in one Lord Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
begotten from the Father before all ages,
God from God,
Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made;
of the same essence as the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven;
he became incarnate by the Holy Spirit and the virgin Mary,
and was made human.
He was crucified for us under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered and was buried.
The third day he rose again, according to the Scriptures.
He ascended to heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again with glory
to judge the living and the dead.
His kingdom will never end.
And we believe in the Holy Spirit,
the Lord, the giver of life.
He proceeds from the Father and the Son,
and with the Father and the Son is worshiped and glorified.
He spoke through the prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic church.
We affirm one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look forward to the resurrection of the dead,
and to life in the world to come. Amen.
Now I know that some of these educated simpletons around here get hung up on 1+1+1=1, but to me it is really quite simple. Jesus is God. He is not nor ever was a genocidal maniac. It was humans who thought that they knew and heard from God and that God commanded them to slaughter innocents, etc etc ad nauseum. It makes sense that God was "made man" through a union between the Holy Spirit and the Blessed Virgin. Surely in your past bells and smells theology you were taught these concepts.
If a god does exist it's not the monster humans called Christians have described.
If God does exist, He is not some nameless faceless energy emanating from the Universe and expressed through human ideals and logic.
Edited by Phat, : No reason given.

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1297 by Tangle, posted 07-04-2021 3:20 AM Tangle has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1299 by Tangle, posted 07-06-2021 6:04 AM Phat has replied
 Message 1300 by ringo, posted 07-06-2021 12:21 PM Phat has replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1301 of 1442 (887067)
07-07-2021 4:40 AM
Reply to: Message 1300 by ringo
07-06-2021 12:21 PM


Re: Bit Harsh
Again...If God does exist, He is not some nameless faceless energy emanating from the Universe and expressed through human ideals and logic. The name is NOT Leprechaun. Or Ringo. Or Science. Or Allah. Or BigFoot. The name is Jesus. Please try and keep up!

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1300 by ringo, posted 07-06-2021 12:21 PM ringo has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1304 by ringo, posted 07-07-2021 12:13 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(2)
Message 1302 of 1442 (887068)
07-07-2021 4:48 AM
Reply to: Message 1299 by Tangle
07-06-2021 6:04 AM


This IS The Humor Topic, after all
Tangle writes:
Well I don't know what that means as none of you have seen either god or Jesus. All you know of both characters is what is written in your book, and your book has this god of yours committing random acts of genocide. If Jesus and god are the same thing, then Jesus is a genocidal dictator too.
*sigh*
Allow me the indulgence of getting us back on topic.

Moses, Jesus and the Old Man

One sunny day, Jesus, Moses and a small elderly man were playing golf.
Jesus was the first to tee off. He hit the ball a little to the left, and it ended up in the water hazard. Because it was Jesus his ball floated, and when he got down to the hazard, he walked upon the water and hit the ball into the green.
Moses was the next to tee-off, and like Jesus, he also hit the ball into the water hazard. When he got down to the hazard, he parted the waters and hit the ball onto the green.
The old man was next. He also hit the ball into the water hazard. Just then, a big fish swallowed the ball and started swimming. A hawk swooped down and grabbed the fish and started to fly away. As the hawk passed over the green, it's grip tightened, causing the ball to pop out of the fish. The ball landed on the green and rolled into the cup.
Jesus then turned to the old man and said, "Look Dad, if you're going to play, at least play fair."
Edited by Phat, : No reason given.

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1299 by Tangle, posted 07-06-2021 6:04 AM Tangle has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1305 by dwise1, posted 07-07-2021 1:58 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1303 of 1442 (887069)
07-07-2021 5:09 AM
Reply to: Message 1294 by Phat
07-03-2021 4:21 AM


Re: Bit Harsh

"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
***
“…far from science having buried God, not only do the results of science point towards his existence, but the scientific enterprise itself is validated by his existence.”- Dr.John Lennox

“The whole war between the atheist and the theist comes down to this: the atheist believes a 'what' created the universe; the theist believes a 'who' created the universe.”
- Criss Jami, Killo

“The most difficult subjects can be explained to the most slow-witted man if he has not formed any idea of them already; but the simplest thing cannot be made clear to the most intelligent man if he is firmly persuaded that he knows already, without a shadow of a doubt, what is laid before him.” — Leo Tolstoy, The Kingdom of God is Within You
(1894).


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1294 by Phat, posted 07-03-2021 4:21 AM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1393 of 1442 (904062)
12-21-2022 8:02 AM


Classic George Carlin
I love this!

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1394 of 1442 (904150)
12-22-2022 12:32 PM


Classic Adam Sandler

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1395 of 1442 (904258)
12-24-2022 7:22 AM


Comix 2 Ponder
deleted

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1397 of 1442 (907366)
02-22-2023 12:25 AM
Reply to: Message 1396 by Minnemooseus
02-21-2023 7:48 PM


Re: Exploring the "Do Nothing Button"
This went about a mile over my head!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1396 by Minnemooseus, posted 02-21-2023 7:48 PM Minnemooseus has seen this message but not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1398 by AZPaul3, posted 02-22-2023 2:19 AM Phat has replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1399 of 1442 (907383)
02-22-2023 11:22 PM
Reply to: Message 1398 by AZPaul3
02-22-2023 2:19 AM


Re: Exploring the "Do Nothing Button"
Its a joke, right? Percy just labled unused blank space as a button...a Do Nothing Button. Right?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1398 by AZPaul3, posted 02-22-2023 2:19 AM AZPaul3 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 1400 by AZPaul3, posted 02-22-2023 11:40 PM Phat has seen this message but not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 1405 of 1442 (907954)
03-03-2023 10:37 AM


Remember Church Chat?

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(1)
Message 1406 of 1442 (908698)
03-19-2023 11:12 AM


Y'all will like this one!

  
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