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Author | Topic: Humour VIII | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
subbie Member (Idle past 1284 days) Posts: 3509 Joined:
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I drove past a farm today where the farmer had 36 sheep get loose. He asked me to round them up. I said, "40."
Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate Howling about evidence is a conversation stopper, and it never stops to think if the claim could possibly be true -- foreveryoung |
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1434 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined:
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by our ability to understand Rebel☮American☆Zen☯Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) |
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9 |
P.S. And yes, people are paying their premiums. Benghazi!"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads." |
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Theodoric Member Posts: 9201 From: Northwest, WI, USA Joined: Member Rating: 3.2
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My personal favorite: "This is gonna sting a little."
From Message 24 Reminds me of this classic Dennis Wolfberg skit A funny man who died much too young.Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts "God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness. |
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4
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One the best middle fingers:
"This is for all of you idiots that can't find us!!! HAHAHAHAHA Suckers!"- xongsmith, 5.7d
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9 |
That pic was taken before my hairline receded.
"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9
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xongsmith writes: "Insane? Whaddya mean? None of you idiots here are any more nuts than the average asshole walking out on the street!" - paraphrasing Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" Message 83 My younger brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. He had his first episode at 17; he's now 57 and has lived independently for many years, thank you very much. The first time he signed himself into a locked psychiatric ward, he called that night from a pay phone in the common area. "These people are fucking crazy! You gotta get me outta here!" We did. Maybe we're a sick family, but we laughed all the way home. ----------------------------------------NB: Top 'o the hat to Theodoric for the idea to use MID links to make humorous connections w/o cluttering a thread. "If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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ringo Member (Idle past 441 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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Faith talking about PRACTICING siners reminded me of a couple of old jokes:
How do I get to Carnegie Hall? Practice! and
Sex isn't dirty.
It is if you do it right. |
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Heathen Member (Idle past 1312 days) Posts: 1067 From: Brizzle Joined:
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A. Knock Knock...
B. Who's there? A. The Interrupting Cow. B. The Interrupt-- A. MOOOOOOOOO! |
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1.61803 Member (Idle past 1533 days) Posts: 2928 From: Lone Star State USA Joined:
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"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Tangle Member Posts: 9514 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.8
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Wife to software developer husband:
"Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6!" A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why the hell did you buy 6 cartons of milk?" He replied, "They had eggs."Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android "Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed. Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm. |
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frako Member (Idle past 335 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined:
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LOLChristianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.
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Diomedes Member Posts: 996 From: Central Florida, USA Joined: |
Well, we are a representative democracy. Unfortunately, nitwits get the same voting rights as everyone else.
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Coragyps Member (Idle past 764 days) Posts: 5553 From: Snyder, Texas, USA Joined:
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Heh....
My son is bipolar. He went off the deep end a couple of years ago and spent a month in a similar psychiatric ward full of people that were also, like Omni's brother's companions, fucking crazy. He called me up at work one morning with the news that he was being released. I drove over there, got him all signed out, and we walked to the car and got in. When I turned the key, Humble Pie's "Thirty Days in the Hole" was just starting. We both fell out the doors laughing.
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