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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Source For David Barton's Ideas May Be Fictional.
But apart from the whole "being made-up" issue, does he really think that schools would be safer if twelve-year-olds carried revolvers?
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9
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Any Yank who's traveled in the UK can relate to the breakfast and bar measure complaints.
I needed a guide book that told me how to say, "Oh fercrissake, just sell me the fucking bottle!" and, "Turn the goddam egg, dammit, turn the goddam egg!" In a polite way. Couldn't find one. Lovely people, though. I think they liked us."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9
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You have to understand--the U.S. is the Id to the UK's Superego.
Keep that in mind, and everything else makes sense."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Tangle Member Posts: 9516 From: UK Joined: Member Rating: 4.8
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There are two tried and tested Yank ways of accomplishing what you need in both circumstances.
"Here's $100, please [give me the bottle/cook the egg on both sides] "I know what you're thinking, punk, did I fire 6 shots or only five [give me the bottle/cook the egg on both sides]Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android
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Panda Member (Idle past 3742 days) Posts: 2688 From: UK Joined:
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Omnivorous writes:
If it is your beer that is short-measured then you are legally obliged to start a fight with the barman. Any Yank who's traveled in the UK can relate to the breakfast and bar measure complaints. I needed a guide book that told me how to say, "Oh fercrissake, just sell me the fucking bottle!" and, "Turn the goddam egg, dammit, turn the goddam egg!" In a polite way. Couldn't find one. If you are feeling benevolent then you do have the option of firing a warning shot across the bows with: "What the fuck do you call that!".But if they don't apologise immediately then you must proceed with the punching. Edited by Panda, : No reason given."There is no great invention, from fire to flying, which has not been hailed as an insult to some god." J. B. S. Haldane
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9
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Tangle writes: There are two tried and tested Yank ways of accomplishing what you need in both circumstances. Screw the egg. As for the drink, I employed the tactics of the long distance drinker: I regard the thimbleful of tawny liquor with some suspicion. "That's my glass of whiskey, then." "Aye." I lift it to my lips like you would lift the frailest bit of windblown fluff (which is what it weighs) and sort of...snuffle...the whiskey from the thimble. I carefully replace the gossamer glass and gaze at it thoughtfully. I pay and wave away a decent tip with no other complaint. The next drink is better."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9
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I did notice that every pint and half was full to the brim, whatever one might say about the tiny drams of whiskey.
I understand all the medieval tortures of Europe were, in fact, first devised for use on those who shorted tankards."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Percy Member Posts: 22505 From: New Hampshire Joined: Member Rating: 4.9 |
Just adding a comment to the message chain, not a reply to you specifically...
Drink strength tends to vary in the US. Chain and normal-fare restaurants tend to have watered-down drinks, while upscale restaurants, at least around here, tend to have normal drinks, which when when you're used to the drinks at TGIF or Long Horn or Applebee's or Ruby Tuesday or Chile's taste incredibly strong. Sometimes when I find a drink I really like I'll buy the ingredients and, following a recipe, attempt to make it at home. Invariably it is very strong. --Percy
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ringo Member (Idle past 441 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
Omnivorous writes:
Here in Saskatchewan, forty-odd years ago, the government changed the regulation-sized draft glasses (that's regulation, mind you) from 7 3/8 oz to 7 1/4 oz - or vice versa, I can never remember which. Heaven help the bartender who shorted you on the regulation size of your beer. Part of my job was to unload 1000 cases of the new glasses. I understand all the medieval tortures of Europe were, in fact, first devised for use on those who shorted tankards. Of course, our regulations are much more relaxed now. Pretty soon we'll even be able to have strippers and liquor in the same room.
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9 |
I noted in the news yesterday that Canada had determined that higher alcohol prices reduced alcohol-related incidents, e.g., alcohol poisoning.
I fear for your pocket. Now that I no longer frequent bars, perhaps I should write How to Cultivate Bartenders--an art I mastered years ago but now rarely employ. If you drink more than twice at the same establishment, and you aren't getting especially good pours, you aren't doing it right. (Not you, personnally, ringo: I have faith in your sage consumption.) On occasion, I've sent a drink back with the waitress, explaining there must have been an error, since I ordered an alcoholic bevereage; usually works at the dining table; at the bar, not so much. Wait staff know where their tips come from, and God help the barkeep who gets between a waitress and her tip. Btw, it isn't better in the U.S. I can enter any drinking establishment in the U.K. and feel confident of getting excellent ales, beers and spirits. It's more of a crap shoot in the U.S., though things have improved with the growing popularity of microbreweries. One thing, though. That full breakfast? That ain't bacon."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Coragyps Member (Idle past 764 days) Posts: 5553 From: Snyder, Texas, USA Joined: |
It's more of a crap shoot in the U.S.... Yes, when Miller Lite is the most flavorful beer they offer it is best to just move on........
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9 |
Percy writes: Just adding a comment to the message chain, not a reply to you specifically... I could tell it wasn't a reply to me specifically--there was no accompanying warning.
Chain and normal-fare restaurants tend to have watered-down drinks, while upscale restaurants, at least around here, tend to have normal drinks That's generally true, I think, deriving from profit motives and crowd control. You can sell a lot of watery drinks to the younger, more moderate income crowd; but serve them straight up measures, and you have brawls. The older, sedate denizens of upscale restaurants are more likely to snooze than fight when plied with strong drink, and they have the wherewithal for call liquor and exotic cocktails. Plus, a few strong drinks, and you can't taste what's being passed off as haute cuisine. Drinking in any public establishment is like gambling in a casino--the house always has the edge. What this country needs is another Whiskey Rebellion. I'm sure Faith would agree."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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onifre Member (Idle past 2980 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Great dating service, guys!
- Oni
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ringo Member (Idle past 441 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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Omnivorous writes:
I should have mentioned that when the glass size changed, the regulation price (that's regulation, mind you) changed from twenty cents to twenty-one cents - or vice versa, I can never remember which. I fear for your pocket. I don't know what it would be now. I haven't had a drink in almost a year and I can't remember the last time I bought one.
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1.61803 Member (Idle past 1533 days) Posts: 2928 From: Lone Star State USA Joined: |
Makers Mark,my favorite bourbon distiller has come out and said they will now start watering down their bourbon.
This is upsetting as I think when one buys a bottle of spirits it should not be watered down. I wonder if this will prove to be a grave error in judgement on the part of that company. I for one will switch my swill.MSN | Outlook, Office, Skype, Bing, Breaking News, and Latest Videos "You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs
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