It's the 12th day of 12th month of the 12th year.....

Only if you did not wear one of my special Mayan Apocalypse Protection hats made of the finest nucleogenic materials gathered from ancient interstellar sources then enhanced with Pyramid Power.I spent the better part of an hour folding these hats (using heavy aluminum foil and a paper hat method) , drawing up the signage and setting a price of $600.Everyone in my office laughed at me (I do have that reputation. It was expected of me and I could not disappoint.) until I dropped the price to 10 cents whereupon everyone wanted one.And they worked! Today, the 21nth, the 10:30 AM time of the apocalypse came and went, so did the fall back time of 3 PM, and we are all still here! Not only that but I made 80 cents directly and another $1.20 on credit!Once again the power of science shines through!Edited by AZPaul3, : No reason given.

OK, so we went through the Y2K thing with my hording of chocolate chips and cans of spam while selling (at least trying to sell) my $1500 pamphlet on "How to Survive Y2K", the upshot of which was to horde chocolate chips and cans of spam.We went through the two Harold Camping "Raptures" with my selling (at least trying to sell) my $200 viles of Wholly Water (and no that is not a misspelling) and giving lectures on "How to be Raptured Without Having to Become a Demented Christian" the upshot of which was to "bapterize" yourself with a vile of Wholly Water while chanting a secret montra and making specific signs in the air all of which I would instruct you on for a mere $200 fee (not including the price of the Wholly Water).Then we went through the Mayan Apocalypse with my selling (at least trying to sell) my $600 Mayan Apocalypse Protection Hat discounted to 10 cents and had 20 people in the building wearing them which reflected both the Galactic Gravitational Waves and the resulting Coronal Mass Ejaculations (yes, this was all on my signage) and thus saved the whole world from impending torturous doom.Great fun.So what is next?Has the next Rapture been scheduled yet? Any more ancient disaster prophecies pending?I know there was supposed to be an asteroid threat for March 2014 but recently the astrophysics folks downgraded 2003 QQ47 to a Torino 0. Spoil sports.Any religious crazies got any kind of alien visitations going on?There has got to be something we can hype and get all worked up about. Any excuse to act nutty while having a final party before the BIG IT happens.Anyone got anything? Fiscal Cliff? Anything?

Of course not. They're made out of stone, ya know jar! You gotta go to Home Depot or Lowes.

So that's why the Mayan's ended their calendar! They ran out of stone!