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Author Topic:   Now you too can smell like Jesus.
jar
Member (Idle past 393 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 1 of 22 (193571)
03-23-2005 12:37 AM


The Fragrance of His Essence TM is a patent-pending formula combining myrrh, aloe and cassia. It is the perfect accompaniment to your glow in the dark statues of the Twelve Apostles (individually autographed) and your Jesus Dash-BoardTM Bobblehead.
Soon to be available as perfume, handcream and potpourri. Check your local retailer for availability.
Good Grief!

Replies to this message:
 Message 2 by arachnophilia, posted 03-23-2005 12:48 AM jar has not replied
 Message 6 by Phat, posted 11-17-2012 11:35 AM jar has seen this message but not replied
 Message 8 by ringo, posted 11-17-2012 1:50 PM jar has seen this message but not replied
 Message 16 by Jon, posted 11-17-2012 10:19 PM jar has seen this message but not replied

  
arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1343 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004


Message 2 of 22 (193573)
03-23-2005 12:48 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by jar
03-23-2005 12:37 AM


it seems to me that i would NOT want to smell like jesus. the guy walked the earth as a poor homeless man. then he died a brutal agonizing death. and that was 2000 some years ago.
i mean, not to be sacreligous here, but the dude's gotta smell pret-ty rank.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by jar, posted 03-23-2005 12:37 AM jar has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by Phat, posted 03-23-2005 3:06 AM arachnophilia has replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(3)
Message 3 of 22 (193592)
03-23-2005 3:06 AM
Reply to: Message 2 by arachnophilia
03-23-2005 12:48 AM


Do all proceeds from the sale of His Essence go help the homeless 'least of these' who also smell quite rank?
Or is this another attempt to use the Holy name in order to make a fortune and fill up the storehouses on earth while ignoring the purpose of which the individual was created?
I dunno...I smell a rat!
Maybe we could market a soothing chest salve and call it Messiahlatem.
Or how about beef jerky that was kosher and made only from sacred cows? JesusJerky?tm
This message has been edited by Phatboy, 03-23-2005 01:12 AM

This message is a reply to:
 Message 2 by arachnophilia, posted 03-23-2005 12:48 AM arachnophilia has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 4 by Dilyias, posted 03-23-2005 5:03 PM Phat has not replied
 Message 5 by arachnophilia, posted 03-23-2005 11:02 PM Phat has not replied
 Message 7 by fearandloathing, posted 11-17-2012 12:02 PM Phat has not replied
 Message 11 by Omnivorous, posted 11-17-2012 3:06 PM Phat has not replied

  
Dilyias
Member (Idle past 1366 days)
Posts: 21
From: Minnesota
Joined: 10-02-2003


Message 4 of 22 (193728)
03-23-2005 5:03 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by Phat
03-23-2005 3:06 AM


That's almost as bad as those Shroud of Turin beach towels!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by Phat, posted 03-23-2005 3:06 AM Phat has not replied

Replies to this message:
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arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1343 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004


Message 5 of 22 (193834)
03-23-2005 11:02 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by Phat
03-23-2005 3:06 AM


Or how about beef jerky that was kosher and made only from sacred cows?
i dunno, the bible doesn't look too kindly on sacred cows.
but yes. turning over the tables, and all that. jesus would be appalled.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by Phat, posted 03-23-2005 3:06 AM Phat has not replied

  
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


(2)
Message 6 of 22 (680045)
11-17-2012 11:35 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by jar
03-23-2005 12:37 AM


Meanwhile at the park
People are talking a lot these days.....

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by jar, posted 03-23-2005 12:37 AM jar has seen this message but not replied

  
fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4144 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 7 of 22 (680049)
11-17-2012 12:02 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by Phat
03-23-2005 3:06 AM


I dunno...I smell a rat!
No problem, all you need is...

Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'
― Isaac Asimov
"You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them" - Ray Bradbury

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by Phat, posted 03-23-2005 3:06 AM Phat has not replied

  
ringo
Member (Idle past 411 days)
Posts: 20940
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005


Message 8 of 22 (680072)
11-17-2012 1:50 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by jar
03-23-2005 12:37 AM


jar writes:
The Fragrance of His Essence TM is a patent-pending formula combining myrrh, aloe and cassia.
What? No frankincense?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by jar, posted 03-23-2005 12:37 AM jar has seen this message but not replied

  
Granny Magda
Member
Posts: 2462
From: UK
Joined: 11-12-2007
Member Rating: 4.0


Message 9 of 22 (680081)
11-17-2012 2:45 PM


SMASH!
WHY SMELL LIKE PUNY JESUS WHEN YOU CAN SMELL LIKE HULK?
JESUS SMELL FUNNY! HULK IS STRONGEST SMELL THERE IS!
Please note that this product contains higher than recommended levels of gamma radiation. Marvel Comics takes no responsibility for any monsterism experienced whilst wearing this fragrance.
Mutate and SMASH!

Replies to this message:
 Message 14 by Omnivorous, posted 11-17-2012 3:46 PM Granny Magda has seen this message but not replied

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3977
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


Message 10 of 22 (680085)
11-17-2012 3:04 PM
Reply to: Message 4 by Dilyias
03-23-2005 5:03 PM


Dilyias writes:
That's almost as bad as those Shroud of Turin beach towels!
I want one!

"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 4 by Dilyias, posted 03-23-2005 5:03 PM Dilyias has not replied

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3977
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


Message 11 of 22 (680086)
11-17-2012 3:06 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by Phat
03-23-2005 3:06 AM


And GandhiAde would be...uh, never mind.

"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by Phat, posted 03-23-2005 3:06 AM Phat has not replied

  
Dogmafood
Member (Idle past 348 days)
Posts: 1815
From: Ontario Canada
Joined: 08-04-2010


(7)
Message 12 of 22 (680092)
11-17-2012 3:33 PM


Divine by association
I always wanted to open a deli and call it 'Cheeses of Nazareth.'

Replies to this message:
 Message 13 by fearandloathing, posted 11-17-2012 3:37 PM Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied
 Message 15 by jar, posted 11-17-2012 3:51 PM Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied
 Message 18 by Tangle, posted 11-19-2012 5:24 AM Dogmafood has replied
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fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4144 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


(2)
Message 13 of 22 (680093)
11-17-2012 3:37 PM
Reply to: Message 12 by Dogmafood
11-17-2012 3:33 PM


Re: Divine by association
You could open up a dog kennel next door....'Noah's Bark'

Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'
― Isaac Asimov
"You don't have to burn books to destroy a culture. Just get people to stop reading them" - Ray Bradbury

This message is a reply to:
 Message 12 by Dogmafood, posted 11-17-2012 3:33 PM Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied

  
Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3977
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


(2)
Message 14 of 22 (680094)
11-17-2012 3:46 PM
Reply to: Message 9 by Granny Magda
11-17-2012 2:45 PM


Re: SMASH!
Puny god.

"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 9 by Granny Magda, posted 11-17-2012 2:45 PM Granny Magda has seen this message but not replied

  
jar
Member (Idle past 393 days)
Posts: 34026
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


(4)
Message 15 of 22 (680096)
11-17-2012 3:51 PM
Reply to: Message 12 by Dogmafood
11-17-2012 3:33 PM


Re: Divine by association
And a coffee shop called Holy Grounds.

Anyone so limited that they can only spell a word one way is severely handicapped!

This message is a reply to:
 Message 12 by Dogmafood, posted 11-17-2012 3:33 PM Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied

  
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