Humour VI

Well.After Bowser and Blue performed Polka Dot Undies, had you suffered through "The Colorectal Surgeon" and "Bumdarts" you could have seen and offered us "Life Will Be Great (When We're Dead)" which, dealing as it does with suicide bombers, at least would have been relevant to this site.I watched them all. I have been maimed.They're decent guitarists and singers, though. I wonder what went wrong.

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Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare

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Real things always push back.
-William James

I've always assumed those technical errors invalidated the whole thing.

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Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare

​

Real things always push back.
-William James

Why is this supposed to be funny?

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Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare

​

Real things always push back.
-William James

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Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare

​

Real things always push back.
-William James

The lack of distinction for Scotland and Wales is offensive.

A few years ago I listened to a radio interview with Sister Helen Prejean, the anti-death penalty activist nun portrayed in Dead Man Walking.She said that when she does radio talk shows in the American South, many Christians call to disagree, and they invariably quote the Old Testament.To paraphrase, she said:"These people are Christians.In the New Testament, Christ tells them there is a new covenant, and that killing is wrong.But they cling instead to the Old Testament, because it gives them a license to kill."

I see your Silvio and raise you Donald Trump.

Here's a letter I received from the local elementary school yesterday. Our town gives a small property tax break to war-time vets, so I assume they worked from the tax rolls.

quote:

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Dear Veteran

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Thank you for useing your time to serve our country. I want to know all about you like what country fought the hardest. What is your favorite thing about being a veteran. What is your favorite kind of weapon. What is your favorite country besides Unided States. do you injoy helping the country. Wish you luck!

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from your biggest fan
Brandon

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I'm working on a reply.Once I settle on a favorite weapon, I think I can wrap it up.

I think Brandon is already leaning in that direction.I was thinking of nudging him the other way by suggesting that respect is the greatest American weapon...Nah, it's got to be either plague corpses catapulted over city walls or smallpox blankets handed out to indigenous tribes, though dead sheep down the well last a long time.It's hard to beat germ warfare on bang for the buck.

Real preferences:Home defense: Shotgun. That barrel looks like a drain pipe from the wrong end. Accuracy is gauged by "Was he in the room?"Unarmed one-on-one: Quarterstaff. I can make one, and I discovered in basic training that I have a gift for smacking people with sticks. Plus, I really liked it.Forest/jungle: Bow and arrow. I can make both, it's hard to tell where the shot came from, and good gear has great range.Open terrain: Tank.

Indeed. My favorite battles were never fought.Contrary to frako's advice on bar fights (to fling the slightest fellow within reach at the aggressors), I find instead that the best maneuver is the preemptive door step.Failing access to the primary door, the bathroom door works well: hardly any man, even one martially aroused and battle-ready drunk, can, in easy conscience, attempt to break down the bathroom door when another man is inside.

I wasn't sure what to think at first, but, damn, scooters are hardcore.

So I'm going somewhere with my wife I don't want to go, but I said I'd go.She says I don't have to go if I don't want to go.I say. I said I'd go, I'll go.We go. I'm bitching from the moment we get in the car.Finally, she slams on the brakes and screams, "Why are you acting like an asshole?!"I scream back, "I'M NOT ACTING!"We sat there and laughed for five minutes. Had a great night.