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Member (Idle past 317 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
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Author | Topic: Creativity Corner | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Chuck77 Inactive Member |
Straggler writes: I am sorely tempted to start a lymerickal contest with you too. But, in the name of family decency, I shall refrain. There once was a man named Straggler,he's often mistaken for a her, he once befriended a goat together they learned to float now he's a well known herder. Well, I toned it down some. It was a little more "contraversial" than this nice little limerick. Maybe i'll let you lead... Edited by Chuck77, : No reason given. Edited by Chuck77, : No reason given.
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Chuck77 Inactive Member |
Hello Chuck. Bearing in mind the rhyme possibilities of your name There once was a man named chuckwho did not give a ---- now tho he does and never there was if he was a chicken he'd pluck ?? Edited by Chuck77, : No reason given.
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Chuck77 Inactive Member |
There once was a man from london...london!
who also liked to go huntin...huntin! as long as he drankand slept beside frank you could tell all was well from the gruntin...
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Chuck77 Inactive Member |
OK, i've got the limericks down. Im perfecting then on Straggler for now. Keeping it clean too. Oh the possibilities. I'ts much more challenging to keep them PG
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Straggler Member (Idle past 317 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
There was an old fella called Chuck
Who was romantically down on his luck Called me hun But his advance I must shun Because he is not really someone I'd like to f*%k Dreaming of atheists in bubblesA certain part of Chuck's anatomy doubles Nearly an inch Two at a pinch But still far far too much stubble Message 30 whenever you are ready Chuckles.
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Straggler Member (Idle past 317 days) Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Not every conclusion equally subjective
Some based on evidence and moments reflective If no evidence It's not worth one pence Tentative dismissal required as the action corrective Now these limericks must endThey are driving me round the bend Please no more My head is so sore With that my participation I will suspend
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GDR Member Posts: 6223 From: Sidney, BC, Canada Joined: Member Rating: 3.7 |
Our conclusions aren’t equally strong
So I’m sure you’ll admit that you’re wrong So I’ve had the last word But all that’s occurred Has been friendly and fun all along It really has been a hoot Straggler. I keep rhyming things in my head when I'm talking to people. You're one of the good ones. ThanksGreg
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Dr Adequate Member Posts: 16113 Joined:
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I wrote this about four years back, but it's still one of my swingingest bits of satire, so I thought I'd post it here.
Blame The Jews! You can blame it on the Masons, you can blame it on the PNAC,you can blame it on the Templars, they can hardly answer back, you can blame the Rosicrucians if so you really choose, but you're not a proper paranoid unless you blame the Jews. Blame the Jews! ---when it's scapegoats that you need. Blame the Jews! --- 'cos they're very bad indeed. It's a simple proposition which you really can't refuse that in any given circumstance you ought to blame the Jews. They control the world in secret; that's the reason, I would guesswhy their every single venture meets with such complete success. What nation's half so fortunate in everything they do? So you know whatever happens you can always blame a Jew. Blame the Jews! ---can't you see the warning signs? Blame the Jews! --- if you read between the lines, then you'll find that all of history is littered with the clues proving nothing ever happens that is not the fault of Jews. You can blame it on the Marxists, you can blame the CIA,you can blame the New World Order in a general sort of way, you can blame it on Reptilians, but still you'll find your views always sound a bit more crazy if you blame it on the Jews. Blame the Jews! ---they've a thumb in every pie! Blame the Jews! --- for with methods that are sly they control the price of stocks and shares, the weather, sport and news. Got a problem with reality? You'd better blame the Jews. |
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Artemis Entreri  Suspended Member (Idle past 4480 days) Posts: 1194 From: Northern Virginia Joined: |
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Dr Adequate Member Posts: 16113 Joined: |
I'd forgotten writing this, but came across it looking for something else. It's a jolly little ditty, to be delivered rapidly and with great zest. I call it ...
Nothing Succeeds Like Faunal Succession I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering. --- W. S. Gilbert, The Mikado Way back in geologic timeso scientists will all agree my ancestors were blobs of slime and simple as can be, but I'm descended from the blobs that best performed their blobby jobs the blob aristocrats, the nobs --- a noble pedigree! So I'm descended from the best, the creatures that surpassed the rest, excelled them all at Darwin's test and so gave rise to me. Invertebrates were next to dareto wriggle in the seas and squirm and those that passed their genes on were the finest sort of worm. I'm sprung from those invertebrates who had the most inverte-mates and lots of hot inverte-dates --- a noble pedigree! Oh, what an heritage is mine: one splendid and unbroken line of creatures that made out just fine and so gave rise to me. When first the vertebrates were grownto swim in oceans far and free and flexed their novel spines of bone in some Devonian sea then all the fish from which I am descended were the best that swam, their schools passed nature's strict exam --- a noble pedigree! and so with pride I must confess my lineage, as you may guess is one long story of success and so gave rise to me. When tetrapods began to standand crawl about upon their legs then from the best in all the land who laid the nicest eggs my line descends: from ranks and squads of well-adapted tetrapods whose strength and cunning beat the odds --- a noble pedigree! So I'm descended from the best, the creatures that surpassed the rest, excelled them all at Darwin's test and so gave rise to me. And in the Cenozoic worldwhen monkeys leapt from tree to tree they munched on fruit and nuts, and hurled their dung with zest and glee: and from the simians that flung with greatest force and aim their dung, this is the line from which I'm sprung --- a noble pedigree! Oh, what an heritage is mine: one splendid and unbroken line of creatures that made out just fine and so gave rise to me. And every single hominidthat passed on their genetic strains did best the things that ape-men did and had the largest brains; and so in each and every case my forbears in the human race competed well and took first place --- a noble pedigree! and so with pride I must confess my lineage, as you may guess is one long story of success and so gave rise to me. Oh, what an heritage is mine: one splendid and unbroken line of creatures that made out just fine and so gave rise to me. So I'm descended from the best, the creatures that surpassed the rest, excelled them all at Darwin's test and so gave rise to me. |
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Dr Adequate Member Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Another thing I'd completely forgotten I'd written.
Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie once dedicated one of their books: "To Uri Geller, for being so ridiculous". In the same spirit, I give you this:
The Magus or How I Supped With The Devil I sought and seized me masterybeyond what mortal men should dare, and spake a spell that drew to me the spirits of the earth and air, and bade the hidden world attendobedient to my secret runes; and, lusting in my heart to bend or otherwise deform some spoons, my voice was with the thunders blent;I cried: "Ye ancient spirits, rise! Ride forth, and leave no spoon unbent, for such is hateful in mine eyes." The sensual succubi, in swarmsbrought forth ten thousand spoons of gold, and drew them into monstrous forms entwined in hideous fold on fold. (I sometimes wish that they would askpolitely, if I have a view to any other little task or thing I'd rather have them do ...) I called the very hosts of Hell:methought my soul was little price, 'cos demons do bend spoons so well, and twisted cutlery is nice. Though Satan come to claim me soonand feast upon my wizard's heart, ere then he'll warp me many a spoon and mock with curves the cutler's art. His legions pour from out Hell's gateto crinkle spoons at my command, 'cos else I'd have to leave 'em straight, or bend the wretched things by hand. |
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