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Author Topic:   Creativity Corner
Chuck77
Inactive Member


Message 76 of 86 (637339)
10-15-2011 1:04 AM
Reply to: Message 72 by Straggler
10-14-2011 1:29 PM


Re: Straggler's Night Out
Straggler writes:
I am sorely tempted to start a lymerickal contest with you too.
But, in the name of family decency, I shall refrain.
There once was a man named Straggler,
he's often mistaken for a her,
he once befriended a goat
together they learned to float
now he's a well known herder.
Well, I toned it down some. It was a little more "contraversial" than this nice little limerick.
Maybe i'll let you lead...
Edited by Chuck77, : No reason given.
Edited by Chuck77, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 72 by Straggler, posted 10-14-2011 1:29 PM Straggler has not replied

  
Chuck77
Inactive Member


Message 77 of 86 (637340)
10-15-2011 1:13 AM
Reply to: Message 72 by Straggler
10-14-2011 1:29 PM


Re: Straggler's Night Out
Hello Chuck. Bearing in mind the rhyme possibilities of your name
There once was a man named chuck
who did not give a ----
now tho he does
and never there was
if he was a chicken he'd pluck
??
Edited by Chuck77, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
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Chuck77
Inactive Member


Message 78 of 86 (637341)
10-15-2011 1:44 AM
Reply to: Message 72 by Straggler
10-14-2011 1:29 PM


Re: Straggler's Night Out
There once was a man from london...london!
who also liked to go huntin...huntin!
as long as he drank
and slept beside frank
you could tell all was well from the gruntin...

This message is a reply to:
 Message 72 by Straggler, posted 10-14-2011 1:29 PM Straggler has not replied

  
Chuck77
Inactive Member


Message 79 of 86 (637342)
10-15-2011 1:46 AM


Limerick's
OK, i've got the limericks down. Im perfecting then on Straggler for now. Keeping it clean too. Oh the possibilities. I'ts much more challenging to keep them PG

Replies to this message:
 Message 80 by Straggler, posted 10-15-2011 10:47 AM Chuck77 has not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 317 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 80 of 86 (637404)
10-15-2011 10:47 AM
Reply to: Message 79 by Chuck77
10-15-2011 1:46 AM


Re: Limerick's
There was an old fella called Chuck
Who was romantically down on his luck
Called me hun
But his advance I must shun
Because he is not really someone I'd like to f*%k
Dreaming of atheists in bubbles
A certain part of Chuck's anatomy doubles
Nearly an inch
Two at a pinch
But still far far too much stubble
Message 30 whenever you are ready Chuckles.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 79 by Chuck77, posted 10-15-2011 1:46 AM Chuck77 has not replied

  
Straggler
Member (Idle past 317 days)
Posts: 10333
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 81 of 86 (637405)
10-15-2011 10:57 AM
Reply to: Message 73 by GDR
10-14-2011 2:25 PM


Re: Straggler's Strange Ideas
Not every conclusion equally subjective
Some based on evidence and moments reflective
If no evidence
It's not worth one pence
Tentative dismissal required as the action corrective
Now these limericks must end
They are driving me round the bend
Please no more
My head is so sore
With that my participation I will suspend

This message is a reply to:
 Message 73 by GDR, posted 10-14-2011 2:25 PM GDR has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 82 by GDR, posted 10-15-2011 1:07 PM Straggler has not replied

  
GDR
Member
Posts: 6223
From: Sidney, BC, Canada
Joined: 05-22-2005
Member Rating: 3.7


Message 82 of 86 (637421)
10-15-2011 1:07 PM
Reply to: Message 81 by Straggler
10-15-2011 10:57 AM


Re: Straggler's Strange Ideas
Our conclusions aren’t equally strong
So I’m sure you’ll admit that you’re wrong
So I’ve had the last word
But all that’s occurred
Has been friendly and fun all along
It really has been a hoot Straggler. I keep rhyming things in my head when I'm talking to people.
You're one of the good ones.
Thanks
Greg

This message is a reply to:
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Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


(3)
Message 83 of 86 (641306)
11-18-2011 2:37 PM


Blame The Jews!
I wrote this about four years back, but it's still one of my swingingest bits of satire, so I thought I'd post it here.
Blame The Jews!
You can blame it on the Masons, you can blame it on the PNAC,
you can blame it on the Templars, they can hardly answer back,
you can blame the Rosicrucians if so you really choose,
but you're not a proper paranoid unless you blame the Jews.
Blame the Jews! ---
when it's scapegoats that you need.
Blame the Jews! ---
'cos they're very bad indeed.
It's a simple proposition which you really can't refuse
that in any given circumstance you ought to blame the Jews.
They control the world in secret; that's the reason, I would guess
why their every single venture meets with such complete success.
What nation's half so fortunate in everything they do?
So you know whatever happens you can always blame a Jew.
Blame the Jews! ---
can't you see the warning signs?
Blame the Jews! ---
if you read between the lines,
then you'll find that all of history is littered with the clues
proving nothing ever happens that is not the fault of Jews.
You can blame it on the Marxists, you can blame the CIA,
you can blame the New World Order in a general sort of way,
you can blame it on Reptilians, but still you'll find your views
always sound a bit more crazy if you blame it on the Jews.
Blame the Jews! ---
they've a thumb in every pie!
Blame the Jews! ---
for with methods that are sly
they control the price of stocks and shares, the weather, sport and news.
Got a problem with reality? You'd better blame the Jews.

  
Artemis Entreri 
Suspended Member (Idle past 4480 days)
Posts: 1194
From: Northern Virginia
Joined: 07-08-2008


Message 84 of 86 (641308)
11-18-2011 2:43 PM



  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 85 of 86 (643142)
12-05-2011 10:15 AM


I'd forgotten writing this, but came across it looking for something else. It's a jolly little ditty, to be delivered rapidly and with great zest. I call it ...
Nothing Succeeds Like Faunal Succession
I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering. --- W. S. Gilbert, The Mikado
Way back in geologic time
so scientists will all agree
my ancestors were blobs of slime
and simple as can be,
but I'm descended from the blobs
that best performed their blobby jobs
the blob aristocrats, the nobs
--- a noble pedigree!
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.
Invertebrates were next to dare
to wriggle in the seas and squirm
and those that passed their genes on were
the finest sort of worm.
I'm sprung from those invertebrates
who had the most inverte-mates
and lots of hot inverte-dates
--- a noble pedigree!
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.
When first the vertebrates were grown
to swim in oceans far and free
and flexed their novel spines of bone
in some Devonian sea
then all the fish from which I am
descended were the best that swam,
their schools passed nature's strict exam
--- a noble pedigree!
and so with pride I must confess
my lineage, as you may guess
is one long story of success
and so gave rise to me.
When tetrapods began to stand
and crawl about upon their legs
then from the best in all the land
who laid the nicest eggs
my line descends: from ranks and squads
of well-adapted tetrapods
whose strength and cunning beat the odds
--- a noble pedigree!
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.
And in the Cenozoic world
when monkeys leapt from tree to tree
they munched on fruit and nuts, and hurled
their dung with zest and glee:
and from the simians that flung
with greatest force and aim their dung,
this is the line from which I'm sprung
--- a noble pedigree!
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.
And every single hominid
that passed on their genetic strains
did best the things that ape-men did
and had the largest brains;
and so in each and every case
my forbears in the human race
competed well and took first place
--- a noble pedigree!
and so with pride I must confess
my lineage, as you may guess
is one long story of success
and so gave rise to me.
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.

  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16113
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 86 of 86 (645107)
12-23-2011 9:07 AM


Another thing I'd completely forgotten I'd written.
Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie once dedicated one of their books: "To Uri Geller, for being so ridiculous".
In the same spirit, I give you this:
The Magus or How I Supped With The Devil
I sought and seized me mastery
beyond what mortal men should dare,
and spake a spell that drew to me
the spirits of the earth and air,
and bade the hidden world attend
obedient to my secret runes;
and, lusting in my heart to bend
or otherwise deform some spoons,
my voice was with the thunders blent;
I cried: "Ye ancient spirits, rise!
Ride forth, and leave no spoon unbent,
for such is hateful in mine eyes."
The sensual succubi, in swarms
brought forth ten thousand spoons of gold,
and drew them into monstrous forms
entwined in hideous fold on fold.
(I sometimes wish that they would ask
politely, if I have a view
to any other little task
or thing I'd rather have them do ...)
I called the very hosts of Hell:
methought my soul was little price,
'cos demons do bend spoons so well,
and twisted cutlery is nice.
Though Satan come to claim me soon
and feast upon my wizard's heart,
ere then he'll warp me many a spoon
and mock with curves the cutler's art.
His legions pour from out Hell's gate
to crinkle spoons at my command,
'cos else I'd have to leave 'em straight,
or bend the wretched things by hand.

  
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