Creativity Corner

Back in the humour thread in post Message 27 a well stoned Oni suggests: Well as a fan and purveoyor of such things myself that sounded like a vaguely decent idea. So here is a place for such things. EvC's very own "Creativity Corner". A place for rap, rhyme, verse, prose, limericks or whatever else takes anyone’s fancy. The following is a list of links to those I know of Straggler
Nwr Does My Nut - Message 140
The Onifre and Sam Harris Spirituality Master Farce - Message 36
The Cath and Frog Shootemup - Message 400
EvC Forum Cast And Crew. This Rhyme Is All About YOU - Message 109
Rap Attack (Fight The Deist) - Message 103
Santa Socks It - Message 90RAZD
RAZD's Rap Attack Response - Message 108
Bah Humbug!! - Message 99Dr Adequate
Two By Two, Hurrah! - Message 32
Ode To People Who Can Dish It Out But Can't Take It - Message 27Various
Limerick ShmimerickI am sure there are many such more so if you know of such post a link to it here.And those who are so inclined should consider this a place to post the results of their new creative inclinations. Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

Cool poem!! Can I ask who it is about?

I think it does.

Great stuff. I had somehow missed all of these.Are they all Dr A originals?

I only wondered about This Is The Title because of Percy's link in Message 3. http://podblack.com/?p=1077Frankly am well impressed by your collection.

From what we at EvC know of you - It is kinda hard to imagine............ Aha a professional in our midst!! Seriously dude - Fucking clever, piss-yer-pants funny, outrageously well "vocabularised" and kickass constructed.

Message 352

This will make no sense whatsoever to anyone who hasn't followed the Peanut Gallery or recent related threads. But hopefully those who have will get some of the references and find it mildly amusing. As ever - I have entertained myself even if no-one else.This rhyme is about my main man Xong
No doubt his family ties are strong
Brother of the agnostic opinionated deist who is just wrong
But I'm convinced that it's with the dark side he does belong
It's time he turned to the the ungodly throng
Strags, bluegenes, Mod, Panda, PaulK... - The list is long
Time for Xongsmith to sing a different song
Let the fence sitting no more prolong
But how could that happen? What is that tale?
Listen up and I shall regaleOn the question of the supernatural we disagree
To the ridiculous but massive extent of nought point three.
He’s a five point seven. I’m a proponent of six.
That is the root cause of all the verbal shoves and kicks
Yes - You may think the difference is minor
But it's all about the presence of an intelligent designer
An EvC topic of much dispute
Each side determined the other to refute
The views of the other side just don't compute
That's why the seemingly endless pursuit
Anyway — This rhyme is about that.
Bluegenes theory, rabbits and hats
And how Strags caused a family spatAll started with relentless talk of God
Brother Zen's fundamentalist agnosticism is like a lightning rod
Try to resist but cannot help ourselves
Resulted in many many threads and over sixteen hundred peanut shells!!
Debate went on and on.
EvC felt put-upon
Admin has had enough. "This has gone on far to long"
Put a sock in it or you will be gone!But much thought did arise
And some of that I will now here reprise
RAZ wants to define science as axiomatic
But his epistemological stance is tragic
Just sweeps aside any examples that are problematic
Really is little more than a debate tactic
What are these mysterious pos-tu-lates?
Try and define them and you will end up in dire straits
Last Thursdayism. The one second universe - Such examples he just hates
Exposes agnostic nonsense as second rate.Xong did some analysis and proudly proposed his own dilemma
The result was the much maligned anal Emma
So wedded to her he cannot see why she is so reviled
With her fake allure he has become too beguiled
Persuaded by her charms to take her up the aisle.
Now he lives in misguided bliss
But deep down he knows something is a amiss
Invites Strags to come and reminisce
In comfy chairs they sit and discuss his analy-sis
Philosophical musings over fine cognac and cigars
But Xongs so on the fence he has splinters in his arse
Puts himself at 5.7 on the Dawkins scale.
Not just sittin on the fence, he’s frikkin impaled!
His beloved anal Emma tries to lift him off but fails.
Ouch! He’s slippin!! He doesn’t like the look of those nails.
The colours gone. He’s looking pale.
Slips further down. Only adds to his travails.But what’s that distant noise I hear?
Horses hooves and a hearty cheer.
It’s RAZD and his cheering sidekick Chuck
Here to rescue Xong? To change his luck?
RAZ - The knight in shining armour
Chuck is waving pom pons and wearing batgirl pyjamas
Rushing forth to save their fallen comrade
Better be quick. Xong’s splintered buttocks are looking increasingly frayedHold on dear brother cries the mighty Zen
I’ll rewrite the scales. I’ll redefine my charts.......Again!!
That’ll teach those evil pseudoskeptics.
And then we can treat your splinter wounds with anti-sceptic.
He charges forth. Keyboard in hand.
Chuck waves his pom pons does the splits and lands.
Gimme an R. Gimme an A. Gimme a Zed. Gimme a Dee.
RAZ is on yet another diagram spree!!
So many circles drawn with glee. An inarguable ability. If only they had any effect on his argument's validity. But they don't - Unfortu-nately.
Chuck does a twirl and yells (girly voice) "Go RAZ Go"
(manly voice) Teach those atheistic motherfuckers what it means to KNOOOOWWWStrags, bluegenes Mod, Panda and all the rest.
Stand their ground. Unimpressed.
Strags cannot hide his mirth at the ridiculous manner in which Chuck is dressed
All of these colourful arguments they have already addressed
To these diagramatic tricks they are immune.
The gang of four. And the atheist platoon.
Panda fires his ant-buffoon harpoon.
Chuck falls on his pom pons like a clueless goon
Strags takes aim and shoots the Hogwarts hypothesis
RAZ says "Stand back I know how to deal with this"
He turns and runs away.
It follows him but he ducks and sways.
His dodging abilities do amaze.
Ultimately the question he does rephrase.
Setting his charts and scales all ablaze.
RAZ says - "I know let's start anew.
Then I can draw new charts and diagrams to convince all of you!!"
Panda asks if he likes jam or cheese.
RAZ replies that he's already told him it's all about tea.
Mod raises an eyebrow at this lack of epistemology. Bluegenes head in hand asks Why can't you see?
That baseless propositions have no effect on my theo-ry
But Xong is in no fit shape
To consider the finer points of this intellectual rape
That impaling point is starting to gape
He is in desperate need of an escape
"Here" says Mod "Let me help".
Xong takes his hand with a yelp.
Let us cure you of you nought point three agnosticism With an education in fallibilism
Pragmatism and coherentism too.
Slowly Xong changes his view.
And with each revelation his frayed buttocks are treated to alleviation of the pain caused by impalation.
Eventually he reaches the point of intellectual resuscitation
Well on the way to full salvation.
The light has dawned and all is well
Finally broken away from RAZ's spellNow Xong and I are in Heathrow
Sharing a beer and discussing his bro
Will this dispute ever end?
Will it drive Percy round the bend?
I don't know and nor do you
But Xongsmith will remember those splinters everytime he poosThe moral of this story - Is that enforced agnosticism is bad for your health. Just say no.Edited by Straggler, : Spelling

No Chuckles. I do not agree.
And for that I make no apology
Disagree on the topic of spirituality
Here to debate the nature of reality
Could just drop it. Could just let it be.
But then what is the point of E-v-C?
Discussing these topics relentlessly
Never been known to lack tenacity
If you don't like - Go find a tree.
Give it a hug. It won't fight back.
Won't treat your misapprehensions to verbal attacks
Won't pick you up on your uncomprehending ways
Or send you into a vocabularic daze
You and your tree can just be friends
Or take things further. Who knows where it ends?
No disagreements in Chuck's world of let's pretend
Although conversation pays few dividends
A man and his tree. A match made in heaven.
All is bliss for Chuck seventy seven
But one day after a tree-cuddle you need a leak
Nobody around. Should be OK to sneak.
Drop your pants. Give it a tweak.
But then the trees roots begin to creak
The tree roars "How dare you piss on me"
We were destined for human-foliage matrimony
Now it will end in acrimony
All because you needed to pee
With urine on his feet Chuck has to flee
Pants around his ankles back to E-v-C
A harsh lesson in life's travails
But now he's back on RAZ's scales
Back again with the agnostic alliance
Still bumbling along through their misappliance of science
At least with RAZ wrong or right
You know he's always up for the fight
Convincing those not so bright
That Venn diagrams are a sign of intellectual might
A few others add passion and the odd insight
You however simply prance around in tights
RAZ is the leader and you his boy blunder
Whether you understand his diagrams even he has to wonder
But don't despair - some of us are here to plunder.
To show why these arguments should be put under
To demonstrate that and send the uncomprehending asunder
But. Stop. Is that the rumble of thunder?
Like the hammer blows of mighty Thor
Here come the rampaging gang of four
Modest Mod. Epistemologist supreme.
He'll ask how we know reality is not a dream.
Panda will poke fun at you. And in doing so put RAZ in quite a stew.
Cheese just is not jam. This will always be true.
Bluegenes has a theory still unfalsified
"Hindu Hypothesis" RAZ has cried
"Anal Emma" Xong has tried
Meanwhile your brain continues to be fried.
Couldn't even keep a tree as a bride.
Then of course, last but not least, there's me.
The focus of your ire and rhyming spree
If I was your target - I'd say you missed.
But others will ultimately judge who was dissed
Needless to say we could go on
To this rap attack we could each respond
Until admins call time and sound the gong
Either way - It's time to end this particular song
With one final question - How could you be so wrong?

A lesson many here (including myself at times) could learn. Then the aim has been accomplished.

I like it. It's cool.And far more worthy of Creativity Corner than the nonsense myself and Chuck are engaging in.But that won't stop me.....

OK Chuckles. You’ve had your fun.
Shoulda given up before you even begun.
So far I had my gun only set to stun
But I’ll unravel this story you have spun
Dude how old are you? Like ninety one!
You give it large with your gangsta beef.
But that’s’ ridiculous when you’re sporting false teeth
Good job your rhymes are written rather that verbal
With those gums you sound like your suckin a gerbil
But this isn’t about your rodent perversions
We both know you still sore about Religious Conversions
It’s time for you to end your rhyme excursions
It’s time for you to stop these laboured exertions
I see you’re now displaying homophobic ten-dencies
No doubt a sad by-product of your religious depen-dencies
I ask you to just stop these please
Along with your well known proclivity for miso-gyny Message 1705You imagine me and bluegenes in the bath
I guess that turns you on. It just makes me laugh.
You daydreaming about atheists in soapy bubbles
Makes you giggle and wriggle like Betty Rubble?
I think you protest a bit too much
Come on hun just release the clutch
Make your move. See you groove.
You got something to prove?
Come on Chuckles — I dare ya - Join the dance
Open your eyes. See the light. End the trance.
It’s a breakbeat and you can’t stand the heat
Spilt your bedpan. Urine on your feet.
You try to dance but it’s an embarrassing sight
To contain your bowels you have to fight
Murder on the dancefloor. You don’t look too well.
Not surprising judging from that ran-cid smell
You collapse in a tragic mess. Having a cardiac arrest. Pity you I must confess. If that really was your best.
Your points — All have been addressed. FAILED is your mark on this test. Now go and find another quest.
Because I have swatted you away like a pest.
But where are your friends the agnostic alliance?
They look at the floor in embarrassed silence
But it’s not over. Things get worse.
Oh Shit is your final curse.
You get taken out in a Hearse.
Geriatric rapper dances to death. Now there’s a first!!Despite these faults I think deep down you’re a decent guy
Just deluded about the man in the sky
Like so many need to ask the question why
Even though reason and logic it does defy
All just part of the human condition
Not your fault it’s an irrational position
Maybe I should learn to live and let live
Maybe I should seek to forgive
But it’s more fun to give you grief
More fun to rhyme our beef
And when you leave — Don’t forget your teeth.

Word up homey.

What's this? An end to our rhyming ructions?
Realised you cannot compete in lyrical constructions
Would you like me to provide you with instructions?
While I'm at it....Maybe I can guide you through RAZ's pseudo-logical deductions.
But let's put an end to these introductions
Turn instead to your haiku.
And your proclaimed desire to boo
Your poem was lame. That barely needs stating.
But even more sad is your need to fuck with Panda's rating
You went back in time to boo his every post
That shit makes you the one who deserves to be jeered the most.In my last rhyme you did a dance of death
That should've signalled your final breath
Chuckleberry shuffle to much to bear
Creationist zombie. The stuff of nightmares.
But here you are. Yet again.
Hero worshipping the one called Zen
Lurching around like the living dead
Mind so open you've lost your head
Brains been splattered. But the lights are on
If ever you mattered that time has gone
Knock knock.
Is anyone there?
Tick tock.
Just a blank stare.
They say the the first sign of madness is talking to yourself.
Guess we should be concerned about your mental health. Message 405But I have to admire your perseverence.
It almost makes up for your incoherence
Your support for RAZ goes on and on
Simply unable to see that he is wrong
Oh my gosh! Which scale shall we use?
Has MSPaint ever been so abused?
If Scientific Knowledge is the thing you want
Need more than assumptions and colourful fonts
Pseudoskepticism and logic was quite a thread.
RAZ declared himself agnostic towards the bogeyman under his bed. Xong is a skeptic. But still on the fence.
RAZ has issues with Immaterial "Evidence"
And you Chuck. Why so tense?
Don't leave us all in sus-pence.
Come on Chuckles. Spill the beans.
Are you still having homerotic thoughts about me and bluegenes?
Am I the subject of your fantasy?
I am really flattered by your crush on me.
But whhoooaaahh!! Take it easy.
Put that away. You're making me quesy.
I'm honoured you like me. That much is clear.
The problem is you haven't washed in a year.Let's consider Subjective Evidence of Gods
You and I disagreed. Hey - What are the odds?
You say "He" answered your prayers and fixed your shoulder.
Where there is a grain of sand you see a mystical boulder.
This is the same flawed form of evidence. That inspired war mongering presidents.You have a hotline to God. That must be immense.
But stop and think. It just makes no sense.
Subjective experiences could be fluctuations in the Matrix.
But more likely is the scientific deduction that the mind just plays tricks
Talking of which.. Here comes the agnostic alliance.
They've failed the test for sanity compliance.
Right on cue. It's the white coated men.
Come to take away the woo meister Zen
Load them up. Into the van.
Zen and Xong and you, their number one fan
RAZ - Crazed eyes full of fear
Xong - As usual he's had to many beers
Chump77 is dressed as Britney Spears
Oh no. Not another repeat.
Loss of bladder control. Again - Urine on yer feet.
Strait jackets and a padded cell
RAZ can't draw. He's not taking it well.
"Curiously. Pseudoskeptic. A priori" These words he mutters.
Warden Strags sadly shakes his head and closes the shutters.So this story comes to an end.
The agnostic alliance gone round the bend.
Zig zagged and did a loop the loop
All in the name of woo.
But I want to get through to you
The moral this story does contain. To be so open minded it causes you pain. It's not noble to take that strain. Please please do refrain.
From being so open minded as to lose your brain.Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

There was a member here named G-D-R
Who considers abiogenesis just a step far too far.
He says life cannot have come from rocks!! But look what's evolved from my socks!!
And that's why from shoe shops I'm barred.Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.