Humor V

Jon Ronson on the Insane Clown Posse.I love Ronson. He's never mean to people, he just hands them a length of sturdy rope and a manual on how to tie knots.

You are the second most witty poster on these forums.

Life Changing Christian PC Video GamesHello,Thank you for taking a moment to read this email. It is our understanding that you may be interested in receiving coupons and discounts on our quality PC-based Christian video games for children, teens and adults.Our games are supported by Focus on the Family, the Billy Graham Center and numerous evangelical preachers who appreciate that our games provide a healthy alternative to other violent games.---Speaking as their target audience ...... ah, sheesh.

The American Family Association says that bear attacks are God's punishment for our sins.The solution? Kill the bears.The comments are also amusing, but not as amusing as the fact that someone wrote this in the first place.

Fair enough. Though unless their contributors are chosen by lot from the adult population, I think they must shoulder some of the blame.

No, most people will say "carrot" if you just ask them cold. It is possible that distracting them with arithmetic first makes them more likely to do so; or it is possible that the makers of the video just did that to make it more impressive. If they just said: "Name a vegetable", and then said: "We bet you said "carrot" because 80%^* of people do so when asked to name a vegetable", that would leave you relatively unimpressed. * I can't be bothered to look up the exact percentage, but it is large.

The first thing that came to mind was one of these: I'm going to guess that most people say "hammer".

Abacuses don't count.

I think this is funny. Try to imagine it being spoken with genuine and evident pride.Way back in geologic time
so scientists will all agree
my ancestors were blobs of slime
and simple as can be,
but I'm descended from the blobs
that best performed their blobby jobs
the blob aristocrats, the nobs
--- a noble pedigree!
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.Invertebrates were next to dare
to wriggle in the seas and squirm
and those that passed their genes on were
the finest sort of worm.
I'm sprung from those invertebrates
who had the most inverte-mates
and lots of hot inverte-dates
--- a noble pedigree!
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.When first the vertebrates were grown
to swim in oceans far and free
and flexed their novel spines of bone
in some Devonian sea
then all the fish from which I am
descended were the best that swam,
their schools passed nature's strict exam
--- a noble pedigree!
and so with pride I must confess
my lineage, as you may guess
is one long story of success
and so gave rise to me.When tetrapods began to stand
and crawl about upon their legs
then from the best in all the land
who laid the nicest eggs
my line descends: from ranks and squads
of well-adapted tetrapods
whose strength and cunning beat the odds
--- a noble pedigree!
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.And in the Cenozoic world
when monkeys leapt from tree to tree
they munched on fruit and nuts, and hurled
their dung with zest and glee:
and from the simians that flung
with greatest force and aim their dung,
this is the line from which I'm sprung
--- a noble pedigree!
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.And every single hominid
that passed on their genetic strains
did best the things that ape-men did
and had the largest brains;
and so in each and every case
my forbears in the human race
competed well and took first place
--- a noble pedigree!
and so with pride I must confess
my lineage, as you may guess
is one long story of success
and so gave rise to me.
Oh, what an heritage is mine:
one splendid and unbroken line
of creatures that made out just fine
and so gave rise to me.
So I'm descended from the best,
the creatures that surpassed the rest,
excelled them all at Darwin's test
and so gave rise to me.

Well they do. She may have a point. If she produces her numbers by breaking down that string of digits into two-digit pairs, then as the largest number in the UK National Lottery is 49, she'd be picking numbers which are guaranteed not to come up. It is possible that that's what she meant.

Something very similar was screened on British Tv as an advert. I don't know if it's the same squirrel.Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.