One day, the Arkansas mountain lion and the Texas mountain lion meet at the border. The Arkansas mountain lion is sleek, muscular, and has a glint in his eye, but the Texas mountain lion is skinny, mangy, and slope-backed. The Arkansas mountain lion looks his friend over, and says, "Hey, you look pretty awful, you look like you haven't eaten in about six months." So the Texas mountain lion wheezes a little, then he says, "No, I been eating all right. I been eating six square meals a day." "Well, you sure don't look it." "No, I don't feel it neither. Seems like the more I eat, the hungrier I get. Nothing satisfies me any more. And I'm getting weaker every day. You've gotta help me out."
So the Arkansas mountain lion thinks a bit , then he says, "Tell you what. See that Texas cowboy coming over the ridge? You hide behind that boulder here, and when he comes by, you jump him. I'll watch you and see how you do."
So the Texas mountain lion hides behind the boulder, and when the cowboy comes by, he jumps out in front of him with a horrible roar. The cowboy falls off his horse in terror, picks himself up and starts to run away. The Texas mountain lion takes a huge leap and lands square on the cowboy and him flat into the dust. Then swallows him in two gulps.
The Arkansas mountain lion strolls over to the Texas mountain lion. "Well, how do you feel?" "You know, I'm still hungry. I just don't feel like I ate anything, and I'm weaker than ever." So the Arkansas mountain lion says to him, "I'll tell you something. You made two mistakes when you went after that cowboy. First, when you jumped out and roared, you scared him shitless. Then when you knocked him down, you knocked the wind out of him. And everyone knows, there ain't nothing to a Texan but the shit and the wind.
Source
Not as good of a version as the one I heard many years ago, but I couldn't find that one on-line.
Moose
™ Version 4.2