Limerick Shmimerick

So let me propose to you this thread,
We can make limericks up in our head.
Nothing too mean,
Let's keep it clean.
Without more ado, let's go a-head.

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In considering the Origin of Species, it is quite conceivable that a naturalist... might come to the conclusion that each species had not been independently created, but had descended, like varieties, from other species. - Charles Darwin On the Origin of Species
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _En el mundo hay multitud de idiomas, y cada uno tiene su propio significado. - I Corintios 14:10
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _A devout people with its back to the wall can be pushed deeper and deeper into hardening religious nativism, in the end even preferring national suicide to religious compromise. - Colin Wells Sailing from Byzantium

Edited by Jon, :

So much for us keeping it clean,
It's all in good fun, it would seem.
More sex poems are fine,
As long as they rhyme.
Naughty jokes never did bother me.

When yesterday was all done and said,
I decided to write limericks instead.
I could 've gone out
For a night on the town;
Now my only friends exist in my head.

So... Jar stole your wallet?

If this thread ever reaches its max,
We're all likely to have heart attacks.
For a little rhyme
Is okay s'm the time,
But not also if content it lacks.Now some might say that they post gold,
And for them our hands we must fold.
Give them a prayer,
Not a blank stare,
And hope that it can save their soul.For there once was a young man named ,
Now you might think his name was bizzare,
Though crazy he was,
He'd post just because,
He was too young to get into the bar.And so one day a man from up-state,
Decided his name he did hate.
Said change it you must,
Or I won't let you post,
And so the alias of Jon he did make.

But this is what bluegenes didn't know
Was that in Canada time moved quite slow
And though living south
Jon opened his mouth
And said it was only 8:20 or so.

In America, when you say been,
We all knows it rhymes with Ben;
Not with in-between.
A true Brit it'd seem,
Would also more likely say lend.

If you're on this side of the Atlantic,
As a Brit you'd likely get frantic.
There's no U after O;
M-E too must go,
And our spelling sure ain't systematic'Round the world when you say meter
It's sure that it rhymes with Peter
Yet R before E
In the U.K. it'd be
Which I actually think is much neatre.

A question has come to my mind,
How the hell can emoticons rhyme?
makes no sense
In a contexts
But go together just fine.

It is a day that comes just once a year
No criticism today, don't you fear
Just posting to say
Have a Happy Birthday
And we're all very glad that you're here. Edited by Jon, : No reason given.

There was once an old man by the Tigris
Speaking to the vengeful God of his
Abraham was his name
We know what next came
Was that God told him to start circumcises.

Though restrictions were made from the get go,
Artificial were the rules against no-no.
So t' hell with decorum
Let's fuck up this forum
And hang our best verse out to show.__________There once was a man old and wise.
Who lamented on how the time flies.
So he found him a whore,
Then two or three more.
And lined them all up by their size.As the ladies all stood there a-waiting
What they thought was to be a quick mating.
He measured each lass,
From her front to her ass,
With a tool of incomp'rable making.While standing their patience wore thin.
The small one did softly pipe in,
Sir, if you please,
Let us get on our knees.
And finish what's yet to begin.This lamenting grey man old and wise,
He refused to give in to their cries.
Their sins he did hate,
So 'e told 'em to wait,
As he built each a coffin their size.The dearies they didn't want to die.
So they thought up a plan worth a try.
They lifted their skirts
And pulled down their shirts.
Which dropped that old man like a fly.Edited by Jon, : No reason given.