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Author | Topic: You're either straight, gay, or lying? | |||||||||||||||||||
nator Member (Idle past 2200 days) Posts: 12961 From: Ann Arbor Joined: |
quote: But, genital arousal patterns are extremely closely tied to sexual arousal, wouldn't you say?
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Phat Member Posts: 18354 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.0 |
quote:Yes, but there are many reasons why a person gets aroused. Some of them may tie in with childhood molestation issues, and do not in any way relate to genetic predispositions. There may be some people that don't elicit a physical arousal yet whom one is intensely emotionally attracted to. There may be other people that elicit a strong physical arousal yet who would not be thought of as appropriate sexual partners. Secular psychology is too quick to label a person as predominantly homosexual. Either that or our cultural identities are skewed. What society tells you that you are supposed to act like within your sexual preference is often wrong, IMHO
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Taz Member (Idle past 3322 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Phat writes:
Regardless of whatever reason behind the arousal, the person is aroused. It's called human sexuality.
Yes, but there are many reasons why a person gets aroused. Some of them may tie in with childhood molestation issues, and do not in any way relate to genetic predispositions. There may be some people that don't elicit a physical arousal yet whom one is intensely emotionally attracted to.
This isn't sexuality, Phat. I am intensely emotionally attracted to some of my friends, but that doesn't mean I want to marry them.
There may be other people that elicit a strong physical arousal yet who would not be thought of as appropriate sexual partners.
Yes, and this is called social stigma. I'm assuming you're referring to either the realization that the relationship might not work or the relationship might be illegal. But the fact remains that the person is physically aroused by another, and it's called human sexuality.
Secular psychology is too quick to label a person as predominantly homosexual. Either that or our cultural identities are skewed.
Phat, you have a screwed up view of human sexuality, and you are expecting the rest of us to follow it? Not all of us see sexuality as some kind of sin against god, you know.
What society tells you that you are supposed to act like within your sexual preference is often wrong, IMHO
No, it's not what society tells you. It's what you are. If you are sexually aroused everytime you see someone who belongs to a certain group, it's what you are physically attracted to. I get physically aroused when I'm around certain women. I don't get physically aroused around men at all. According to your logic, I'm really gay because I like to go out and have a good time with my male buddies. Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes![/size]
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Taz Member (Idle past 3322 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Really? I had no idea it's Pride Month.
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes![/size]
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macaroniandcheese  Suspended Member (Idle past 3959 days) Posts: 4258 Joined: |
you should watch colbert. i knew. and it's cause they're trying to steal our wedding month to ruin our marriages!@111
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Phat Member Posts: 18354 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.0 |
Taz writes: Awareness of and relationship to God is a whole 'nother topic, Taz. Not all of us see sexuality as some kind of sin against god, you know. I agree that much of the church and professed Christians have repressed views on human sexuality, but by the same token I don't see the local GLBT community center as a bastion of human wisdom either. I believe that Groupthink can be a dangerous thing whether it is being practiced by militant Christian fundamentalists or by militant gay activists. This whole us versus them mentality is not helping the community at large to understand itself any better. As an example, say that little Sam thinks (strongly believes) that he might be gay. While it may be bad advice to tell him to run to his local Pastor (unless the church is in sync with the real world) I believe that it is equally bad advice to tell him to run to the Gay Community Center. They too have prejudices and are not fully equipped to deal with a young mans problems and issues simply because they are tolerant of his inclinations. The reason that I barked at you is that you assumed that I am some closet case who never fully embraced his sexuality or something! Lets assume that at age 17, I had feelings of attraction for members of my same sex. If I had gone to the gay community at that time, I know that I would have found plenty of sexual partners. What I would not have found would be any better friends than the ones that I have had for the past thirty years! In summation, I see much of social services and secular support as the liberal version of the church---(its a non-church support group). Many of these people have the same hang-ups and neurosis as do the rest of us...ask me and I can tell you some stories of several "counselors" whom I have known personally! In summation, I assert that an individual can get good advice and/or get screwed no matter which way they turn for support. The church should not be vilified, just because a collective group of ex-fundamentalists has decided that they were duped. For the record, I have never told any gay kid that I have mentored that their sexuality was wrong nor that God was mad at them if they chose not to be celibate.
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Taz Member (Idle past 3322 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Phat writes:
I'm not the only one here who thinks that you're a closet case that insists on staying in the closet. The reason that I barked at you is that you assumed that I am some closet case who never fully embraced his sexuality or something! Another obvious clue you give us about your case is your continual persistance that sex (as well as any relationship with another human being) takes you away from god, which is a bad thing. Off the top of my head, I can think of three instances when you actually said that sex is bad because it brings you further from god. Seems pretty obvious to me that you are having a crisis between your personal feelings/urges and your religious beliefs. Is it possible that you've either consciously or subconsciously conjured up the sex taking you further from god thing as a mental defense against your sexual urges?
Lets assume that at age 17, I had feelings of attraction for members of my same sex. If I had gone to the gay community at that time, I know that I would have found plenty of sexual partners.
This argument of yours is little better than the typical argument against homosexuality we get from fundies. You know, the one that says "if everyone is gay, the human race will be extinct, therefore noone should be gay at all." Noone here is saying a young person who suspects he's gay should automatically go to a gay bar and bend over. What we are saying is that he should just be natural about it and act upon the feeling when it clicks. Like the old saying, when it clicks, it clicks. You, on the other hand, has taken it upon yourself to wage some kind war against human sexuality. In your advice for that young man coming here asking for advice, you even managed to squeeze in your "sex takes you away from god" speech.
In summation, I see much of social services and secular support as the liberal version of the church---(its a non-church support group).
Well, we encourage people not to suppress a part of themselves that is as important as the personality itself. Suppressing your sexual urges will result in it leaking out in some other form, like acts of violence. Take masturbation for example. I have yet to find a valid reason why it is bad. And yet, it's suppose to take you away from god and into the depth of hell. And just as a preemptive strike against your silly tactic of exaggerating your opponent's argument, I am not advocating people going out and act upon their desire whenever they please. I am not advocating rape and such.
In summation, I assert that an individual can get good advice and/or get screwed no matter which way they turn for support. The church should not be vilified, just because a collective group of ex-fundamentalists has decided that they were duped.
I beg to differ. Churches are nortorious for giving advice on matters they know absolutely nothing about. All they have that guide them is that book written by madmen thousands of years ago.
For the record, I have never told any gay kid that I have mentored that their sexuality was wrong nor that God was mad at them if they chose not to be celibate.
No, but you've said similar things, like having sex takes you away from god and such. You're basically telling them that even though there's nothing wrong with buying the cookie, just remember that eating the cookie will result in blindness. I find it interesting that this line of thought matches exactly with the fundamentalist view point on free will. Supposedly, god gives us free will to either believe in him or not. The thing is if you use your free will and choose not to believe in him, you will suffer for an eternity in the lake of fire. If you're pointing a gun to someone's head and tell him to do something while telling him that he has free will not to do it, is it actually giving that person free will or not? Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes![/size]
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Taz Member (Idle past 3322 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
brenna writes:
Don't you read your copy of The Homosexual Agenda? Page 12 line 8: We as gays must do whatever we can at all costs to ruin other people's marriages, especially Brennakimi's marriage. you should watch colbert. i knew. and it's cause they're trying to steal our wedding month to ruin our marriages!@111 Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes![/size]
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riVeRraT Member (Idle past 447 days) Posts: 5788 From: NY USA Joined: |
I think it's probably true that many, if not most, men who identify as bi are really gay, but I think there's also a lot of men who identify as straight who sometimes have gay sex. Just for clarity, can you define the difference between being gay, and wanting to have gay sex?
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riVeRraT Member (Idle past 447 days) Posts: 5788 From: NY USA Joined: |
This thread reminds me of an old joke:
It goes: You can make love to a thousand woman, but suck one cock, and your a fag for life.
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macaroniandcheese  Suspended Member (Idle past 3959 days) Posts: 4258 Joined: |
it's probably a preference thing. one identifies as a straight person but likes having sex with whomever they choose. also, it may be an occurance thing. one is willing to have sex with any gender but tends to or has only had sex with members of the opposite sexual phenotype.
now everyone knows that i think it's silly to identify by your sexuality, but that's the way it goes. i'm not gay, i'm not straight, i have sex with a [sirgrunwald]. he happens to be a man. i'm not with him because he's a man, i'm with him because he's himself. but think about it this way. i know a woman who identifies as masculine but not necessarily as a man and only dates men. what would you call that? i know a man who identifies as feminine and maybe as a woman but not in the way that he'd necessarily change his physical gender, and only dates men. i had a friend in college who was a man and identified as male and was attracted to men but only dated lesbians. that's just how it worked out. i'm female, and i identify as a feminine me (not necessarily as a girl, really and not even as my name, i never introduce myself because i don't think of myself as being my name), i have only dated men, but i have dabbled with women and been in love with one. what do you think that makes me (besides the gay man you thought i was before)? we label people to make them easier to understand. we do the same thing with animals and it's called taxonomy. but just like there are no real defined "kinds" in animals and there are those who cross the lines we've defined, there are no real kinds in people. it's really okay to define groups of people, but you have to be willing to be flexible because people are individuals and not parts of groups.
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riVeRraT Member (Idle past 447 days) Posts: 5788 From: NY USA Joined: |
I don't think you even answered my question. In regards to the topic.
But thanks for trying? I think the answer to the op is pretty *fn* simple.If you desire to have sex with both male and woman, you are bi-sexual.
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macaroniandcheese  Suspended Member (Idle past 3959 days) Posts: 4258 Joined: |
you asked for someone to explain the difference between being gay and wanting to have gay sex. i think it's entirely possible to be entirely straight but maybe willing to try gay sex once or maybe just being interested in connecting with a certain person of the same gender. ie that the difference between being gay and having gay sex or wanting to have gay sex is in the way a person identifies himself. but. if that's not the question you wanted answered, then maybe you should ask a different one.
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Archer Opteryx Member (Idle past 3628 days) Posts: 1811 From: East Asia Joined: |
Tazmanian Devil: I'm not the only one here who thinks that you're a closet case that insists on staying in the closet. And I'm not the only one who has noticed that Taz shows an energetic obsession with the subject of closet gayness for a person who says he isn't gay. On the subject of the OP: at the most something may have been discovered here about differences within the category of bisexual behaviour. The rest is just hyperbolic label games. The word bisexuality describes a behaviour. As long as people demonstrably behave a certain way, the existence of that behaviour is a given. ________ Edited by Archer Opterix, : added comments. Edited by Archer Opterix, : html. Archer All species are transitional.
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riVeRraT Member (Idle past 447 days) Posts: 5788 From: NY USA Joined: |
Ok, I agree with that, so how does that relate to the OP.
Isn't it possible then for someone to be bi?
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